Student Council Room — After School
Sakurai Saki's footsteps carried the weight of existential crisis as he approached the Student Council door.
How to make Kaguya Shinomiya dislike me?
He'd turned the question over in his mind for hours.
After extensive contemplation, I've reached a troubling conclusion:
This question has no solution.
Because I am handsome.
Because my grades are excellent.
Because I am, as Sakurai General Affairs, unfailingly gentle.
Who could possibly dislike someone like me?
His narcissism reached depths that would impress even the most dedicated self-worshippers.
I am, as always, supremely confident.
Inside
[85] floated above Shirogane Miyuki's head as he reviewed documents.
Eighty-five. If I appeared sad, he'd ask why.
"Sakurai." Shirogane looked up. "Your expression is concerning. What are you contemplating?"
"Ball Game Tournament preparations begun?" Saki deflected smoothly.
"Yes, though it barely concerns us." Shirogane rubbed his temples. "Certain clubs see this as funding opportunities. Fujiwara Secretary submitted a report."
The Tabletop Game Club. For a Ball Game Tournament.
Does she think I'll agree?
She gambles on microscopic odds with the persistence of a slot machine addict.
"Reject her."
"Already done." Shirogane chuckled. "The equipment and venue arrangements fall to various clubs. We'll need to inspect sites, ensure nothing goes wrong."
"Sounds manageable." Saki settled onto the sofa, then allowed his expression to shift—serious, troubled, weighted with importance.
Shirogane leaned forward, prepared for genuine difficulty.
Saki sighed.
"Shirogane. I've discovered I'm too popular. What should I do?"
"…"
Shirogane stroked his chin slowly.
"Sakurai. Is it possible that while you are popular, you have not reached universal adoration requiring active solutions?"
"No, you misunderstand. A girl may be developing feelings for me. I already have a girlfriend."
"Sakurai." Shirogane's voice was gentle. Pitying, almost. "It's afternoon. A bit early for dreaming."
"Consider Shinomiya-san's attitude toward me. Is it not unusual?"
If I don't resolve this, I won't sleep.
The thought of Kaguya Shinomiya potentially liking me—
SHIVERS.
Shirogane laughed outright.
"Shinomiya? Sakurai, your jokes are improving."
Kaguya Shinomiya? Liking a boy?
Ridiculous.
Delusional.
Hilarious.
"Her attitude toward you is indeed unusual." Shirogane returned to his documents. "Unusually hostile. If you want her to dislike you more, continue bickering."
Saki's mind detonated with revelation.
Of course.
Contradict her.
Oppose her.
Nothing makes people dislike you faster than intentional opposition.
This is practically provocation.
Perfect.
Ishigami's Arrival
[81] announced the newcomer.
Eighty-one. If I collapsed, he'd urgently call an ambulance.
"Afternoon, Sakurai-senpai. Superior Miao." Ishigami drifted toward the entertainment corner. "Game? I have controllers."
Saki nodded.
Minutes later, Mario Kart consumed their attention.
"Red shell?" Saki's kart spun out.
"Yes." Ishigami's nod was serene.
"We're in third and fourth. Why target me?"
"Is harming others without benefiting yourself not satisfying?"
Dark.
So dark.
"That mindset will cost you friends, Ishigami-kun."
"Whatever." The word carried complete surrender to social oblivion.
They crossed the finish line in sixth and seventh—mutually assured destruction.
"Next round." Saki's competitive fire ignited.
The door burst open.
[89♦]
This one's significant.
Eighty-nine means even strange playstyles wouldn't earn rejection.
"GOOD AFTERNOON EVERYONE!!!" Fujiwara Chika's energy could have powered the building. "What are you doing?!"
She spotted the game.
"Stop video games! Tabletop game time~!"
"Wait until I win one round." Saki's voice carried irritation. Another overtake. Another loss.
Luck-based games are garbage.
Skill irrelevant when targeted.
Chika pouted, circling behind him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, her weight settling against his back as she shook him gently.
"No~ Play with me~"
Saki's eyes remained fixed on the screen, clouded by competitive obsession.
Victory.
Nothing but victory.
Women only hinder my driving speed.
Sakurai Saki's expression had achieved legendary focus—the kind of concentration that athletes describe as "the zone," that monks spend decades cultivating.
His kart hugged the racing line.
His item usage was flawless.
"Saki-kun is in first place now?" Chika's voice drifted in from somewhere beyond his hyper-focused consciousness.
She squinted at the screen's right side.
"Ishigami-kun~ Eh? Why are you only fourth?"
A pause.
"So weak..."
Ishigami Yu's eye twitched.
"Fujiwara-senpai." His voice was flat. Deadly. "The person who's terrible at computer games is saying this to me?"
"My family doesn't let me play computer games." Chika's tone carried the unshakeable confidence of someone stating objective fact. "It's normal to be weak."
Game consoles. Computers. Anything with a screen and entertainment value—banned.
FPS games looked fun. Makinohara Kozue and Terashima ("Tera-ko") played them constantly at the Tabletop Game Club.
But matches took too long.
Too long to hide from parents.
Too long to enjoy secretly.
Internet cafes were too much effort.
And that one time she'd actually made the trip—gone through all that trouble—Ishigami Yu had mocked her.
Since then?
No desire to play FPS.
(With him, anyway.)
Time Passed
Two played. One watched. Minutes dissolved into each other.
Then—
Footsteps.
The door opened.
Kaguya Shinomiya surveyed the scene with aristocratic bewilderment.
"So weak! HAHA! SO WEAK!" Ishigami Yu's laughter bordered on villainous. "Fujiwara-senpai, is THIS your full power?!"
"Darn it!" Chika hurled the controller down and launched herself at Saki, arms wrapping around him in full cling-mode. "Saki-kun, he's BULLYING me!"
Whether this is about gaming or cuddling—
Unclear.
Probably both.
Kaguya arched an eyebrow.
"Playing games?" She tilted her head. "And Sakurai-kun, isn't that hug with Fujiwara Secretary violating the school rule against 'impure relationships between male and female students on campus'?"
Saki turned.
His expression was cold. Deliberately cold. Strategically cold.
"What's it to you?"
Perfect.
Hostile. Dismissive. Alienating.
This should drop her—
[75↓♦]
Yes! Working!
Now press the advantage—
"And that hair accessory." His gaze raked over her. "Dressing up so cute—what's that for?"
Insult her appearance. Mock her efforts. Destroy any positive—
[80↑♦]
…
…What?
WHY DID IT GO UP?!
Kaguya's Internal Monologue (Unbeknownst to Saki)
"What's it to you?"
So direct. So bold. So unlike the usual politeness.
He's… challenging me.
And the hair accessory—
He NOTICED.
He noticed I changed my appearance.
He said it was CUTE.
"Dressing up so cute—"
Those were his exact words.
SAKURAI GENERAL AFFAIRS CALLED ME CUTE.
Saki's Internal Monologue
SEVENTY-FIVE TO EIGHTY.
I INSULTED HER AND IT WENT UP.
THIS MAKES NO SENSE.
IS HER AFFECTION METER BROKEN?
AM I BROKEN?
IS THE UNIVERSE BROKEN?
The Room
Silence hung awkwardly as both parties processed completely different realities.
Chika remained attached to Saki's back.
Ishigami watched with the detached interest of someone observing a nature documentary.
And Kaguya Shinomiya, utterly unaware of the chaos she'd caused, simply smiled.
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