Alex's p.o.v
Self-pity, embarrassment, and shame swallowed her whole like a crashing wave. What the fuck is wrong with her? What's wrong with her damned nature? How the hell didn't she know? How didn't she sense it? Why did her body betray her like this? She'd taken suppressants not long ago, just a few days. Why was this happening now? She huffed, hands clutching the sink like it was the only thing holding her together. Her eyes burned as she stared into the mirror, and she silently begged the earth to have mercy and swallow her whole.
It's her own body. Her own mind. And yet she'd missed this? She's a doctor, damn it. She's supposed to be able to track and treat every change. She had gifts, instincts... and yet she failed? She had never willingly been intimate before Noah. Maybe that's why she misread everything. Maybe that's why she convinced herself that the cravings were just endorphins, just hormones riding on a high of affection. But that was naïve. Foolish. She thought she was being responsible, being safe, taking the pills and keeping her boundaries. But reality hit her like a slap she had been indulging parts of herself that she didn't want to admit existed. Her body had acted on instinct, as if her mind didn't even matter. Now Noah knows. And worse he saw her. The scent, the instinct, the truth laid bare between them. His mother had even hinted at it, tried to tell her... but she had been too deep in her own head to hear the warning. Too busy pretending.
Fuck.
She smacked her palm against the sink, tears burning behind her eyes. She took her pills three days ago. The effects were supposed to last seven. Unless... unless she was around an alpha. Her fated mate. That's it. That's why. Her body had naturally responded to his pheromones, that means she can't be in heat right now.
Stupid. So fucking stupid.
Now he knows. Now he knows what she really is. What if he sees her the way the rest of the world does? Just another omega. A burden. A toy. A mistake. What if he casts her aside the way others have? Her mother's voice echoed in her memory the cold words, the passive judgment as she saw her bruised and broken. She looked away then. She always did. She never said it aloud, but she didn't have to. To her, she deserved what happened. Because of her nature. Because she was "less." She believed it.
She cast her dreams aside, shut herself down, folded into herself and lived in survival mode depressed, disconnected... maybe even suicidal. Until Moon University called. That one phone call changed everything. A full scholarship. A second chance. She packed everything, left her childhood home behind, and tried her best to forget the unforgettable. But here she was. Cracked wide open all over again.
WAIT.
Did the idiot just mention Toby? At this very moment while she's barely holding herself together, he knocks on the door and has the audacity to bring up another omega. During her full-blown, well-deserved hysteria, Noah dares utter the name of one of her best friend's fated mates. To hell with their friendship right now, it feels like betrayal. She's on the edge, unravelling, and he mentions Toby?What the hell does Toby have to do with anything? Her nature just revealed itself. This has nothing to do with that perfect omega. Never in her life has she despised Toby more. Ending this thingwhatever "this" is with Noah would be less painful than hearing him say another's name while she's this vulnerable. Leo's jealousy suddenly makes sense. Maybe it's not just irrational insecurity… maybe it's the ache of being forgotten when she needs to be seen.
Fuming, she storms out of the bathroom, but the rage she expected doesn't come. Instead, the tears do. There's just too much going on. Her brain won't stop, won't give her even a second to breathe. Blow after blow, and she's already been tired for so long. She just wants to crawl into a ditch and disappear. It's not just a bad day it's starting to feel like a bad life. She can't breathe. Her chest tightens, her body goes numb, her head spins. She's hyperventilating now, and it hurts. Grabbing her blue asthma pump, she gasps in two pumps. Relief trickles in, but the pain doesn't stop. She's exhaustedmentally, emotionally, physically. The universe must see her as a joke. A walking disaster.
And then Parker got her number. The past, of course, won't allow her the decency of forgetting. Her face is probably red, puffy, a swollen mess. She's in just her bra and panties the only thing she managed to grab. She feels disgusting, both inside and out. Curling into the blanket, she tries to disappear. She doesn't even register the arms wrapping around her. She's too drained. Her mother betrayed her again and again.
[Common she's tired.]
Her wolf chimes in because there's a part that hopes to have her mother in her life again.
'She gave Parker my phone number, she told her mate to send people to stalk me and report my every move to her. How can I be confident that they won't kidnap me to that place again? 'Trying' would be protecting me from rather than manipulating me to go back to hell.'
She's beyond broken now. Worse than broken. Her armour the same one she's worn for years is shattered, and its pieces lay scattered across this room. No perfect alpha would choose this kind of brokenness. No one would want the burden of fixing what's already ashes. So, this is it. The end of whatever this was between them. 'The end of her Noah and his Axx'. Just thinking it hurts more than she imagined.
"Baby…"
"DO NOT TOUCH ME! Just say it, I can take it."
[No, we can't,] her wolf whispers. [Don't push him away.]
She expects Noah to walk out faster than her father did. She expects him to hate her, just like her mother hates her for being what she is.
"Say what?" he asks, confused.
"I don't know," she sobs. "That you're leaving me for someone like Toby. That I deserve this."
Why is he still here?
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't know anymore! I've worked so hard to hide what I am. To be invisible. In my pack, being omega means being weak. And now… it's all anyone sees."
"Axx…"
She cuts him off, barely breathing. Her voice is quiet, broken.
"I'm a rogue, Noah. I ran away from my birth pack like a coward. I try to forget the past, but my cursed memory won't let me. Every second… every touch… I remember. And I didn't deserve it. None of it was my fault!"
Her voice cracks under the weight of it. Tears fall again slow, endless, numb.
"And now, Parker's going to win again," she whispers. "They'll call this trauma 'mating blues' and sweep it under the rug like it's nothing. Just like they did before."
"What?" Noah's voice is sharp now. Alarmed. "Alex, tell me what's going on. I'm your fated mate let me help you."
"There's nothing to help. I hate how weak I am. Before, it was just who I was. Now… now it's because I'm an omega. And I hate it. I hate that I got jealous when you mentioned Toby. I hate that my mom texted me this…"
She motions to her phone, and Noah picks it up, unlocking it with the password he stole. His jaw clenches, fury twisting his features. She turns away, not caring if he throws it, smashes it whatever.
"I got into Moon University," she says. "I never want to step foot into that house again."
She exhales slowly. Lifelessly.
"She said Parker would like to marry an omega like me. As if it's a privilege for me to be with the same man who destroyed me. She is willing to harm me to visit more, and she thinks a loveless marriage will make that happen. I'll have to take those suppressants your mom gave me and figure the rest out. But I'm not going back. I won't."
"Alexandria!"
His voice booms, snapping her out of her spiral. Her wolf quiets. Her racing mind stills. And for a moment, it's just him. Noah kneels before her, gently wiping her tears with a warm, damp towel. She doesn't flinch.
"You will not marry anyone but me," he says. "You are mine. My fated. My gift. If anyone wants to touch you, they'll have to get through me. Do you understand?"
She nods. But the tears don't stop, and the pain doesn't disappear.
"You're not alone," he whispers. "Whatever you need, ask. I want to take care of you. Not because I think you can't handle it, but because it's my job to catch you before you fall. You have a pack and mate now. Our pack. And you are my mate. Lean on me. Give yourself time to heal."
God, why does this side of Noah make her heart race? Maybe it's her stupid omega hormones. Maybe it's more. Maybe it's the safety, the certainty, the dominance she's always craved but never received. The strength that doesn't demand or take but holds. And when he kisses her, it isn't rushed. It's reverent. Desperate. Like she's the last meal of a starving man. And for the first time in years, she doesn't feel alone.
.
.
.
Noah's p.o.v
"Move in with me." he says cupping her cheek and wiping her tears. "My building is safe and I will protect you."
"Noah... I don't want to make my problems yours."
"Be my mate. Then your problems will be ours."
He didn't want to scare his Axx away, not when he'd only just begun to win her trust. But now? Now he wanted to prove that his beautiful, brilliant mate could depend on him fully, without fear.
"No," she said, firm but gentle. "I would never bond with you just to roll in with baggage."
"As my mate," he replied, unwavering, "you'll want to trust me with that baggage."
A pause. Then she sighed, clearly weighing each word before she spoke.
"Fine. I'll move in. But I promise it'll be temporary, and I'll pull my weight. I can cook, clean, do laundry. I'll get a part-time job to help with rent. I'll start taking my suppressants again to avoid heats and keep my status hidden."
That's as far as he knew he could push her for now. Anymore and she might retreat completely… or worse, end up with another man.
"I agree with everything," he said, "but heats usually last a week. Why not give those to me?"
"My nature. My body. My rules," she said with quiet finality. "Let me tell Lucas and Leo first."
He pulled her closer, and she instinctively rested her head against his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair. She lifted her head just enough to kiss him soft, fleeting before pulling away.
"I love you. I just want you close to me," he murmured. "At least now my kitchen won't be called depressing anymore. When we get back, we'll go shopping for what you need. Honestly, I never saw the need for a lot of things. You pick it all out I'll come over and pay."
"There's no need-"
"Axx," he interrupted, voice low and pleading, "allow me to be your alpha. Go out with Leo, and for the sake of keeping the peace, I'll even mention Lucas."
"You really hate shopping, huh?"
"I go in, grab what I came for, and leave. You? You go in, browse, hit another store, and another, until the sun sets."
"Shut up," she laughed, swatting his arm playfully.
Their laughter wrapped around them like a warm blanket, and for a moment, the world outside didn't exist. In that second, Alex let herself imagine a perfect future one with children, laughter, and peace.
"You know," she said softly, "I hated all alphas. If it weren't for Lucas, that hatred would've rotted me from the inside out. Funny, isn't it? That I fell in love with an alpha. Many say it's fate... but I call it destiny. I still struggle. I still hesitate. But I no longer carry that hatred the way I used to. I can't believe I fell in love with one after everything. Thank you."
"I love you, my little mate," he said, kissing her forehead. "Now rest. We take off at eleven, you've only got three hours to sleep."
"Yeah, wait I need to take your mom's stronger suppressants."
"Okay," he said, voice tender. "But hurry back."
Some battles weren't worth fighting. Stubborn against stubborn is a war with no winner, and this one this fight over suppressants isn't the hill he'd die on.