Nox's POV:
Not long ago, I swore I would not return here again, but circumstances have forced me to tread upon this unholy land, in search of the chosen hero of domestic powers, he who will go down in history as a great warrior. Neigh! The greatest king ever.
"YOU! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
"Sup, rat-man! How's it hanging? I'm lookin for the wife-beater! You seen him? The people at his house said he was here!" I said, as I greeted the only tolerable person living in these forbidden lands that bear my fish's name.
"YOU WHORE! HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT ANOTHER MAN?! YOUR MARRIAGE TO THE DARK LORD IS THE ONLY GOOD FORTUNE YOU HAVE BROUGHT TO THIS CLAN! DO NOT RUIN THE PRESTIGE OF OUR CLAN AND RETURN THIS INSTANT BEFORE YOU BRING ANY MORE SHAME UPON US!!!" Said the rat-man, as he tried to cheer me up before I face the trials of this accursed estate in search of the chosen one.
"Hey, boss? Am I hearing things, or did this loudmouth just say you got hitched to the dark lord?" Meathead asked me.
"Hush? It's probably some sort of ruse by the boss! Don't blow her cover!" Slowpoke whispered to his meat-headed brother.
"Whose he?" My Wimpy little girl asked as she tugged on my sleeve.
"He is the rat-man, a struggling comedian that lives here!" I said, while struggling against my instincts to pat the short head at perfect head-patting height.
"STOP CALLING ME THAT, YOU RUDE SLUT, AND WHO ARE THESE MENN! I SWEAR IF THEY ARE YOUR SECRET LOVERS THEN I WILL …!"
"Just ignore his jokes! He'll run out of breath eventually!" I said to the grossed out faces of my kids who were being accused of being my secret harem.
Poor rat-man. Will he ever find another whom can understand his complex humor one day? Only time will tell.
"DO NOT IGNORE MY WORDS! HEY! WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE GOING?! GET BACK HERE!"
"Come on, let's go!" I said, as I led my kids past the tomato-faced rat-man.
"WHO SAID YOU COULD BRING THOSE FILTHY BEGGERS INTO OUR ESTATE?! I'LL TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS EVEN IF I HAVE TO BEAT THEM INTO YOU!" He said as he came rushing at me.
*Swoosh*
*Thud**Thud**Thud*
Showing some pity on the man, I decided to help him in his skit, as I sidestepped him, tripped his foot and watched him rolled like a tumbleweed at unnatural speeds as he fell into the wind currents I prepared using my newly recovered greater spirit core.
"So, I assume he was Yang Ping, right?" My annoyingly taller Crybaby asked.
"Senior? You know who that guy was?" Slowpoke asked.
"Huh? Oh, right? You probably didn't hear! This is the estate of our master's paternal blood relatives! So, that was probably her blood-related uncle Yang Ping, if my information is correct!"
"BLOOD RELATIVES!!!" The three shouted as they all went pale for some reason, and tried to turn back.
Unfortunately, I need them for the emotional support, so that I may brave the storm of haunted dumbasses, muscle-maniacs, and crazed grannies. Just the thought of running into one of them again sends shivers down my spine, but with these four meat-shields, I mean, my four kids, who I definitely am not planning to throw to the weird pack of wolfs, will give me the strength to push forward. Hence, why I pulled out my pocket ball and started catching them all.
"hey! let me out! *cling**clang**cling*"
"I don't want to meet the boss's parents! senior! please, get us out of here! I don't wanna know what kind of demons our boss came from!"
"…"
"I guess I should have explained that you're blood relatives aren't as crazy as you!"
"…!"
"They're not, are they? Hey, why aren't you looking me in the eyes?"
Predicting where this was going, I reached for one of the throwable spatial prison balls in my sleeve.
"They, can't be right? If they were, then the world would have ended by now!"
"So, do you remember that granny who was tussling with the playboy last month! You know the one that threw a city like a baseball!"
"…! I've made a horrible mistake!"
And just as he was about to teleport away, I captured him.
"please! I don't care what you're planning to do, but leave me out of it! damn it why aren't my spatial artifacts working?" My Crybaby-mon cried, only just now realizing something was off about the spatial artifacts I had modified while he was undercover.
As I put the complaining pocket balls into my pockets, I started heading towards the house of the wise wizard, to ask for directions to the chosen wife-beater of which we seek.
"Hm? Hey, isn't that? HEY, PIPSQUEAK!".
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A-! Shit!"
I stopped mid-sentence as I just realized I had fallen for the bait and outed myself in front of the 1st of the three dangers that rules these forsaken lands. Master of being rude and annoying, muscle-maniac the nuisance.
"HAHA! I KNEW IT WAS YOU! SHIT MAN, YOU REALLY DID GROW TALLER! NOW, COME AND GIVE ME A WORKOUT!" It shouted before manifesting its rock arms and charged me.
Fortunately, I knew exactly what to do. I put on my blue trucker-hat backwards as I pulled out one of my pocket balls.
"GO! MEATHEAD! I CHOOSE YOU!" I shouted as I threw my meathead at this muscle-maniac.
"Hey, boss? What are you-?"
*Swoosh*
Seeing the Meathead blocking her path, she attempted to smack him to the side, only for my boy to duck last minute on reflex, letting her giant arm fly over his head.
"OUT OF THE WAY, DUMBASS!"
*BANG*
"Hm?"
Seeing my pocket boy was still in the way, the great nuisance decided to try and knee him in the stomach as her forwards momentum had gotten her too close for another rock arm sweep. However, meathead is second only to my higher-level starter boy in terms of close quarters combat. Hence, he managed to block her knee with his hands, and even slowed her momentum a little, thanks to his first stage aura keeping him from flopping over in the face of the difference in cultivation level.
"Ugh! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?! Ugh! I think you just fractured my hand you bitch!"
"Tsk! Where did she go! HEY PIPSQUEAK!"
I resisted the urge to shout out in anger and reveal my hiding place, as I was stealthily abandoning my child to deal with this muscle-maniac.
"Guess she's gone! Hey, you! You're one of my niece's pals, right?"
"Huh? Neice? Oh no!"
"You're pretty impressive for managing to stay on your feet as just a red core! Let's see what else ya got!"
*Bang*
"AAH!"
*RUMBLE*
"NO, WAIT! HEY!"
*BOOM*
"UGH! OUCH! WHAT THE HELL!"
Thank you, meathead. Your sacrifice shall not be in vain. Now, as the shouts of my sacrificial boy echoed in the distance, I made my way into the wizard's mansion, but there in the hallways, I met with the evil witch of furry cosplay, the malevolent crazed granny, blocked my path.
"Huh? Oh, little … Noxy, why did you have to grow so big! Is there a way you can turn small for grandmama again, please!" She said, as she closed the distance and grabbed me before I had the time to throw out my pocket ball.
"GET OFF ME! GO! WIMP! I CHOOSE YOU!" I shouted, as I threw out the only hope I had to survive this wild granny encounter.
*Squeal*
"SO, CUTE!"
"Boss! Help! I can't … breath!"
The crazed granny is a granny type beast which is weak against cuteness types, while my Wimp is a golem and cuteness dual type, due to her fixation on magical dolls and her loli status. A perfect match up for this dress-up lolicon fanatic. Ergo, I sacrifice this purple and silver-haired 19-year-old child to the witch of the hallway as she cackles her creepy laughter behind me as I made my way into the wizard's study.
*Bang*
*Slam*
I let out a sigh of relief as I threw open the door, then slammed it back shut after entering the room. I then hurried to board up the entrance in case the witch decided to follow after.
"LASS! What are you doing?" The old man said as he watched me finish up hammering in the nails.
"NEVER MIND THAT! WHERE CAN I FIND SIR WIFE-BEATER!" I said, as I grabbed the old man by his collar as so I could shout in his face.
"Uh … He is with your father right now! Lass, before you go storming off again, mind explaining what this marriage to the dark lord is all about! It threw the entire family for a loop when we received blah, blah, blah, …!"
I was in shock. I knew the likelihood was high, but still I had hoped it was not as I feared. Of all the places he could have been, he had to be within the fortress of creeps. The haunted house of dumbass is where princess wife-beater has been imprisoned, and I with my two-remaining meat-shields, will have to go on an epic quest to kidnap him back from the dumbass who seduced my mother's ghost.
"Hey, are you even listening to me? Hello!" The old man said as he waved his hand in front of my face.
"I must go!" I declared, then opened the door and crouched underneath the planks some idiot had nailed to the wrong side of this doorway and headed for the final boss battle.
"Hey, it's the tall lady!"
"Hey there kid! Know where I can find the wife-beater?" I asked, as I patted the green-haired kid with one of my anti-mud-lady stickers on her forehead.
"Daddy's up on the second floor, talking to uncle about something!"
"Thanks! Now could you let go of my hand please?" I asked, as the little kid clung to my arm.
"It's boring here! I wanna play!"
"Then go play on your own! I'm busy!" I said, as I started walking, dragging her along the floor as she refused to let go of my arm.
"I don't wanna play alone! It's boring!" She said as she started climbing up my arm instead of letting go like I'd hoped.
*Sigh*
"Fine, here!" I said, as I gave her my Slowpokes pocket ball.
"What's this?"
"If you go up to the third floor and drop this ball out a window while saying these magic words, a new friend you can play with will appear! Now, go have fun!" I said as I ruffled her hair a bit, before sending her up the stairs ahead of me.
Just when I got to the room where the princess's wife-beater was being kept I heard the sounds of a beautiful friendship being born. Either that or someone breaking their butt.
"Slowpoke, I choose you!"
"HEY, WHAT THE!"
*Thud*
"Ouch!"
"Wow! Cool! It worked!"
I also saw the kid rushing past me to go play, as I was taking deep breaths to prepare myself for this coming battle. Unfortunately, before I could even touch the doorknob, the dumbass came flying through the door and grabbed my face.
"NOX! I MISSED YOU!" He shouted as he hugged my face.
"GET OFF OF ME! ARGH!!" I said, as I threw him off me.
"Nox! Don't be so cold! You're going to make your father cry!"
Just as I saw him open his hands for another hug, I made my move.
"TAKE THIS! CRYBABY, I CHOOSE YOU!" I shouted, as I threw my last meat-shield right into this son of a witch's arms.
"Wow! What the-! Huh! What was that? SON!? Oh! Well, that still makes him my grandson!"
*Slam*
I hurried into the room filled with creepy paintings of me as a shorty and proceeded to board up the door as I could hear my Crybaby's struggling to survive outside with that monster.
"Could you let me down?"
"Oh, sorry! Here you go!"
What cruel fate awaits him. I am sorry my son, but it must be this way, for the fate of the world is at stake.
"So, you're my daughter's adopted son Alex, correct?"
"…? You're not going to dangle me in front of a giant beast are you?"
"What? Of course not? What kind of monster would do that to his own grandchild?"
"You're a lot more normal than I thought you'd be!"
Oh, why! Why must the world be so cruel! I curse the gods for making me do this to my very own children! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
"Miss Nox, are you okay?" The princess asked me, as I was hitting the ground in frustration while cursing the heavens.
"Yeah, I'm fine!" I said, as I hopped back on my feet.