Aeryn sat in the dark, listening as Rissa's footsteps walked away. When the sound was finally gone, the silence felt heavy, like it was pressing against her chest, but she stayed perfectly still, just counting her heartbeats. Every part of her body felt heavy, as if her bones had turned to lead.
She wanted to stand up. She needed to know she still could. But her heart was screaming no. She was scared to move, scared to find out how weak she really was; and when she finally tried to pull herself up, her breath came out in a ragged, painful gasp. Her muscles ached with a deep, hollow exhaustion that made her head spin.
After a few minutes of just trying to breathe, she looked toward her bags. Her hands shook as she reached in and pulled out the small mirror. She had been hiding from it. She had been avoiding her own face ever since the "change" started taking hold of her. But she couldn't hide anymore.
She had hoped to see herself for the first time in the reflection of clean moving water or something soft and natural. But this mirror was different. It was clear and cold, and it told the truth so harshly that it felt like a physical blow.
As soon as she saw her face, she sat up straight not believeing yet not feeling it unexpected.
Her hair had turned white, fully white root to tail... without any hint of her crimson red streaks...
"Do you truly believe a mere creature such as you, who cannot even draw a single breath without His permission, can rewrite the Decree of the Almighty simply because you are wishful?"
The haunting voice was ringing in her head as if it was just being said in her ears. she dropped the mirror in her lap and put her hand on her ears trying to shut the voice.
She picked up the mirror again.
It wasn't the pretty silver of an old woman or the bright gold she used to have. It was the color of ash, dead, cold ash from a fire that had gone out. But it was her eyes that truly terrified her. The warm copper color was gone. In its place was a color she didn't even have a name for. She looked like someone who had traveled to a horrible, dark place and brought a piece of that darkness back inside her.
Just one look at herself was enough to break her. She shoved the mirror away, the tears running down her face. She wasn't just sad; she was in total shock. She didn't know who the girl in the reflection was.
Slowly, she pulled up her sleeves. There, on the inside of both her arms, were thin, black veins. They looked like tiny, dark spider webs trapped under her skin. They weren't moving or spreading, they were just there. She quickly pulled her sleeves back down, hiding them, her skin crawling with disgust.
Then she raised her right hand and closed her eyes. She tried to concentrate, reaching deep inside herself to that warm, familiar place where her power lived.
She aimed her hand at a cup of water on the table, her mind screaming for it to move.
Nothing happened.
She pushed harder. She reached into the very center of her soul, trying to feel the energy of the room. But there was nothing. The only thing that happened was her breathing getting fast and shaky again.
She pulled the mirror out one more time. The girl staring back at her looked hollow.
You are just a vessel, the words whispered in her mind.
She raised her hand again, calling out to the oldest, deepest part of her magic, the power that had never, ever failed her before. For a second, she felt a tiny spark of warmth in her fingertips. A small, desperate smile started to form on her face. Relief flooded her heart. There it is, she thought.
But the warmth stayed in her fingers. The water didn't move. The air didn't stir.
"Where is my fire?" she whispered to the mirror. "Where is my power?"
The girl in the mirror had no answer.
Then, she saw a small mouse dart across the floor toward a hole. It was a sudden spark of hope. She raised her hand, closed her eyes tight, and took a deep breath. She put everything she had left into this one moment.
Suddenly, a wave of intense heat slammed into her head. She felt a terrible dizzy spell, like her brain was melting inside her skull. She gasped and snapped her eyes open, only to see something that made her blood run cold.
Her dress was soaking with red.
BLOOD? her brain screamed. MY POWER! her heart cried out.
She looked up at the ceiling, looking for a leak. She looked around the floor, thinking she had accidentally killed something. But there was nothing. The room was empty.
Then she touched her face. She looked in the mirror and saw a thick stream of dark blood pouring from her nose.
The magic hadn't gone out to the world. It had turned inward. It wasn't answering her anymore; it was leaking out of her. It felt like a seal that had been forced to hold too much for too long, and now it was finally, quietly breaking apart.
The horror she felt wasn't a sharp surprise. It was a cold, heavy weight in her stomach. The one thing she had always had, the thing that made her who she was, had just stopped. And now she was empty.
Then a knock came at the door. Quickly, she pressed her sleeve against her nose, wiped the blood away and forced her face into a calm poker mask. By the time the person on the other side spoke, she looked like a Queen again, even if she felt like a ghost.
"Your Highness?"
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