The bed was still cold under the weak winter Los Angeles sun. The last of the geese crossed the Los Angeles sky, heading north toward Canada where they would build nests, lay eggs and raise the young while the actors here begged for votes, forgetting their homes.
I woke up first, my memory of last night perfectly clear yet lost in a dreamlike haze. The scenes we did near the piano are clearly focused but as we headed over the bedroom, everything became kaleidoscopic.
I stood up and went over to the coffee machine and as l turned around to see Emma who looked was having the best sleep of her life seemed so peaceful that time blurred. Finally, l made myself a coffee and one for Emma too as the street was getting busy.
I looked at the time: 10:31 AM.
I should be going to New York soon.
The coffee machine stopped hissing and l grabbed the CMBYN script to prepare l couldn't help but smile. The role of Elio scares me because l have never played a role like that but then l remember Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain— a fine romance film.
Should l adopt Ledger's mentality of total seriousness for this film but what 17-year old is totally serious? From last night, there should be this playfulness and should go about it the same way for any romance film. I remember Gyllenhaal said in an interview that "it's just a love story" when promoting the movie.
My thoughts stopped as l saw a half-naked Emma stretching her hands and carried a wide smile. "You made coffee?"
"Yep right on the far left." l stood up and poured the coffee to the mug that read l ♡ Mom. She sat opposite—facing me—on the kitchen bar stool.
"Nice mug, she says"
"Im a momma's boy."
"Me too."
"Would you like cream and sugar?"
"Yes, please"
As l passed over the mug, there was long silence followed by the noises of traffic nearby.
"Umm, whats your plans for—"
"I don't regret it. I mean were you even drunk?" She asked, staring at me with the same intensity as last night.
"No. And even if l was. I would have done the same thing" l say with complete sincerity.
"Where's the bathroom?" She says trying to fill up the space.
"Right next to the bedroom" l half-mumbled as she already headed toward it.
I called Mark who sounded out of breath, "So you want tickets to New York. You know, kid, l think it's time you got an assistant"
"It's also time to get a new manager" l chuckled.
Mark didn't hear my comment or choose to ignore it, but said, "There's this graduate from UCLA: communications, summa cum laude—"
Emma shouted loud enough for Mark to hear on the phone, "Where is the toilet paper?"
Mark let out a roar of laughter, "Guess you summa cum last night. And here l thought you were gay. When you wanted that role l was certain. Enjoy yourself kid when l—"
I ended the call so quickly l worried that l'd broken my phone.
Emma came out, "Who was that?"
"Umm, my psychotic manager"
"Did he drop you? You look so red" She touched my cheek for a split second.
"No, it was about getting an assistant" She looked past me toward the large window.
She looked back at me, "Moving up,"and she said with a smile. "Whatever you want".
I could smell the tropical citrus scent of her toothpaste. She looked like a fairy.
I leaned in for a kiss and we embraced against the kitchen countertop.
"l want you", she laughed.
She leans back and touches my chest, "l really should be going. I have to do press at 2"
"I will take you"
I put on my jeans and offered her my ALLSAINTS leather jacket. We headed over to my cheap car and as she told me her address l was a little taken aback.
"Los Feliz?" l smiled as she looked at the rear view mirror.
"Yeah. You know l don't want to use my family's money.l already use their name, you know" '
"Makes sense. I have some friends in Los Feliz, they have some good bars."
"You have friends." l can sense her grin.
"Why do they say that?"
Emma mimicked my New York accent, "Acting is art. It is the sun to the earth, oxygen to humans, and Jordan to Conan".
We both laugh and l dont think l felt such peace before everything—before coming to Hollywood, and before growing up.
We both settled into a comfortable silence. I dropped her off and somewhat forced her to keep the jacket. We shared a quick hug outside and after fourty minutes of traffic l was back inside my apartment. I packed and cleaned my apartment and soon enough l was in Terminal 4 headed to New York.
"Ricky, can you pick me up"
His voice was gruffed and muffled, "Of course, Hollywood."
His Toyato Camry glided to the pickup area and his smile reflected on the rearview mirror.
"Hey, man. Coming back for the holidays, Sunset Blvd not very holiday-y"
"You bet."
As we drove towards the I-87: deep green forest and rocky cuts of granite; l noticed Ricky's intense glare.
"You seem different from last time" His New York accent was heavy and sudden like the metro system.
I smile, "You know. I'm really like her"
He touched my shoulder and looked in my eyes, "l thought you were—"
"Shut the fuck up, your gonna kill me" We both laugh.
"How long has it been"
"Um, 48 hours"
"Wow. Playing with hearts." l saw the sign to my neighborhood: an old green marker that mirrored the surrounding landscape, worn and half-beaten like the commuters to the city.
"Damn, you move quickly."
"I mean l wasn't trying too."
Soon enough we reached my house, a pale, exhausted two story place that felt like a hug, and as I said goodbye to Ricky, peace settled into my body.