"…Reika…sama…?"
W-what is she doing here? Firing me in person…?
"Why look so surprised? I've been trying to contact you. You didn't leave me much choice."
"Uh… um…" Renji fumbled for excuses, but none came.
"At least let me in, will you." Reika shot him a commanding glare. Without further resistance, Renji stepped aside. She walked in, the late afternoon sun following her into the apartment. After closing the door, She glanced at him sharply from the corner of her eye.
"I tried to call you—to let you know that Tetsuo-san's buried at Yanaka Cemetery… If you can find it in yourself to visit," she said sarcastically, without a hint to hide her edge.
…Dammit…
The moment he heard it, shame and uselessness washed over him.
"Isn't there anything you want to say about that?"
"…"
"I thought you told me he was like a father to you. Or was that just a joke—"
"—IT'S NOT!!"
"…Is that so."
"If you're here just to harass me, please… get out." Renji's voice cracked with exhaustion.
Then without another word, Reika pulled out a thick envelope and handed it to him. Renji frowned at it.
"Here's your salary for this month."
The moment Renji heard it, a promise not too long ago that he made replayed in his mind involuntarily.
"And old man, when I'm back, let's hit that massage parlor that you want and eat something nice on the way back. My paycheck should be in by then. Hehe…"
"Sure, sure. Be looking forward to it."
A promise he made the last time he saw Tetsuo.
Renji stood frozen, staring daggers at the envelope as if it were cursed. But Reika just sighed, clearly fed up with his lack of response, she grabbed his hand and pressed the envelope into his cold palm.
"!!"
The weight and texture of the money snapped him back to reality.
—Ghh!!
"I DON'T NEED THE MONEY!!"
He yanked his arm away and slammed the envelope onto the floor. It tore open on impact, crisp yen bills scattering around.
"…" Reika watched him calmly, serenely—even—as if she'd expected this.
"I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!!"
Renji grabbed the car key fob from the cabinet beside him and threw it at her feet.
"If you want to fire me, just say it!! While you're at it, take the car back with you! and GET OUT!!"
His shoulders heaved, lungs dragging in more air than he needed.
Without showing any emotion, Reika knelt down, picked up the key, then gathered the scattered money and neatly stacked it back into the envelope. She placed it on the cabinet.
She took one slow breath, then stepped closer, closing their distance. Piercing his eyes with her own gaze, and says calmly.
"I'm not here to fire you…"
"Tch." Renji ground his teeth, breaking the eye contact, snapping his head to the side. Her detachment felt like cold water poured over him.
Reika took off her shoes, turned away, walk inside, scanning the narrow apartment. Then she headed toward the living room—to the sole table and sofa placed in this confined space.
"…What's with this place… It's so lifeless…" She circled the room, checking corners, running a finger through the dust. "…Hmm… Not dirty, though…"
She glanced at the trash—everything neatly sorted.
"Hey! Don't go wandering around other people's rooms!"
Yet, Reika ignored him and moved toward the sofa.
"Ugh… It's suffocating in here. At least open the window, will you…"
She slid the curtain aside and opened the balcony door. Fresh air rushed in, replacing the stale atmosphere.
"Reika-sama!! Even for you, this is eno—"
"—Renji… I need to talk to you."
She smiled faintly, a mixed expression on her face, backlit by the golden evening sun, made her figure both strong and fragile at the same time. It was an expression he never saw until now.
"…"
Renji swallowed whatever complaint remained.
Without waiting for him, Reika stepped out onto the balcony on her own.
…The hell…
Renji dragged his feet after her. She crouched and sat on the dusty concrete floor.
"Oi, it's dirty there…"
But she didn't care much, as she settled in comfortably while hugging her knees.
I really don't get this woman…
He gave up and sat down a short distance away. Together, they watched the housing complex and the snow-covered city stretching beyond it, framed by the rusted railing of his apartment balcony.
"…It doesn't snow much anymore," Reika said idly.
"…I guess…" And Renji replied curtly.
Silence. Just ambient noise of faraway traffic, and faint chatter from somewhere filling the space. Eventually, Renji spoke with subdued voice.
"…Did Tetsuo… get a proper send-off?"
"Yes. I made sure of it myself… But since he didn't have any relatives left… it was just me and Shira."
"…I see… Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Another long silence passed, the breeze cooling both their heads. Then, in the same detached tone, Reika spoke again.
"I'm the leader of a crime syndicate."
"…" Renji let the words hang before replying quietly, heavily. "…I see."
"Oh? Your reaction's kind of dull…"
"…Believe me, I'm surprised… even though I already picked up the hint here and there back at Shimonoseki… hearing it directly from you is…"
"Hmmm. Did Shira tell you?"
Renji recalled his conversation with Shira at the port.
"She meant that you're just accompanying me as a 'driver', Renji."
"Hmm? Does that mean…"
"For your information. Reika-sama didn't know about this whole infiltration, and you better keep it at that." Shira tone carries dangerous edge at the end.
Renji gulped, as he reads the fine line. "… So I keep everything here a secret…?"
"Good boy."
He's about to let it slip before the memories settled, so he rephrases the answer carefully.
"…No. She didn't. Shira-sama just showed me how she… does… her job."
"Well… to be fair, I never told you clearly from the start, haha," Reika laughed weakly.
"And to be fair… I never bothered to ask… Guess we're even on that matter."
Silence took it's time again. Then Reika spoke like someone recounting a life she was tired of living.
"…Kokuren… was inherited by me from my parents."
"Kokuren…" Renji repeated the name under his breath, he'd sure heard it mentioned to him before.
"A long-standing 85 years of legacy. A real-deal… crime syndicate… Still… I tried to follow my mother's path. Reform it slowly even after she passed away." She said it with a weak smile.
"… What about your father…?"
"He died three years before her." But Reika tone turns cold at the mention of her father.
"Oh… Sorry."
"Don't be."
"… So… this whole KHX thing… is just a cover…?"
"No. It's real. Uh… well. Up until my father's reign, logistics business was just a front. But after my mother took over, she made KHX, and turned it into a legitimate company."
"…Huuuuh… crazy…" Renji mumbles while trying to process her words. "…So Kokuren… you do things like turf wars, smuggling, black markets… and… drugs…?"
The last word lingered heavily on his tongue.
"Yes. Though I should clarify—drug distribution was already heavily restricted during my mother's time. But the rest of that list, and something worse… still happens today."
"…What kind of flag did I even set to end up on this route…" Renji muttered, burying his face in his arms.
"Flag?" Reika tilted her head toward him.
"… No… Nothing. It's just… hard to swallow… Never once in my life, that I thought I'd get involved in something like this…"
Especially sitting next to the leader herself…
"Renji… I'm sorry. I know that at this point, no amount of apologies can make up for it… It just never crossed my mind that… such a simple choice of mine could lead to a tragedy like this…"
"…" Renji listened without interrupting.
"…No—maybe that's a lie. Maybe it did cross my mind." Reika's voice softened. "I just kept thinking… if I acted like a normal person… talked normally, ate normally whenever I had the chance… then my life would naturally shift that way too…"
"…I see…" Renji couldn't give her any words, even pleasantries felt wrong in his mind.
Another long silence followed. Reika waited until the sun finally sank beyond the horizon before speaking again. With a voice devoid of anything she usually carries.
"Hey, Renji… can you tell me about yourself?"
"…Don't you already know about me…?"
"I want to hear it from you."
Renji hesitated, hid his face back behind his knees. "…"
She smiled faintly and chose her words with care.
"…Tetsuo-san told me you were in a child welfare facility from the age of twelve?"
"…Yeah… I was…" His mouth hung open like he wanted to say more—but stopped himself.
Reika guided him gently, but with clear intent.
"…Your parents… is what happened really the same as what's written in your records?"
"…Yeah… Dad ran away and gone missing… mom's… suicide." His words at the end felt like a nail in his throat.
"I see…"
Silence again. Time flowed quietly between them, like water over a dried riverbed.
"…What was it like? Life at the facility?"
"…Nothing special… There weren't many kids when I first entered. On the occasions there were others, we barely talked." He shrugged. "I guess… everyone there was either the result of a problem—or the problem itself…"
"Hmm… I thought you might've made at least one friend…?"
"…You're not the first person to ask that…" Renji stretched his neck slightly. "I mostly kept to myself. Reading, playing games, watching movies…"
"What about… education?"
"There was a public tutor, so… I think I still got the same basic education as others…"
"…Hmm… similar to me, then…" Reika diving back into her own memories.
"Huh? You didn't go to school either?" Renji turned his head to her in wonder.
"No. My parents insisted on private education… Given my special circumstances…" She smiled wryly. "Being in school with other children came with too many unnecessary risks."
"…Ah. I see…"
"But then again, compared to you, I'm not completely alone," Reika continued while playing with the thin snow gathered in the corner of the floor. "There were many people in my mansion. Shira was there too."
"Heeeh…" Renji let out a quiet, noncommittal sound. Silence settled again—until Reika spoke once more.
"…And after you turned eighteen, you started doing various part-time jobs, like you told me before?"
"Yeah. Couldn't stay at the facility forever. Had to survive on my own, they said." He looked up at the darkened sky. "…Tried all kinds of grunt work. Messed up every time. Got bullied."
He paused, then with a defeated sigh. "It wasn't that I couldn't handle being bullied—I deserved it most of the time. What I couldn't get over was how badly I kept screwing up… and how each mistake just led to another."
"…I can see where you come from," Reika said quietly. "Failing itself hurts more than how others react to it."
"Yeah… that… And then I ended up at old man Tetsuo's. The rest you already know…"
"…Yes." After a moment, Reika carefully touches the subject Renji's been avoiding. "…And then he got you that job at the TV station, right?"
"…" He hesitated, every nerve in his body locked up.
"…Tetsuo-san said it was a chance for you to chase your dream… of becoming a writer? Making movie?"
"Just a stupid dream…"
"…That's amazing I think... having dream like that" Reika said sincerely, without a trace of sarcasm.
"…A dream is a dream because it's not reality…" He groaned, as if trying to convince himself more than others.
"…Confusing wordplay, haha." Reika chuckled, the moment her laughter fade, she asked in nostalgic tone, "You know, Renji… do you remember the first time we met?"
"…Of course. Not counting our first conversation—when I first sat in your 'sacred garden', I saw you were watering your flowers."
"Hehe… not quite." She smiled warmly. "The first time I met you was around last November… When you suddenly showed up crying at Waragyo."
"What—h-how do you know that?! You were there?!"
"Shira and I were there for breakfast, though you seemed too 'occupied' to notice at that time."
"Damn… then you saw all of that…?" Renji felt a hint of embarrassment creeping up to his face.
"Well… I left after Tetsuo-san brought you inside. To be honest, I didn't even realize it was you until he told me later."
"…Haaaah…" He sighed deeply, then Reika said softly.
"Renji… I want to know what really happened to you… and why you gave up on your dream."
…Guess this time I really have to tell her… huh…
Renji wrestled with the thought, frowning for what felt like ten long minutes. And by watching Reika who looked like she'd sit there all night if he stayed silent.
Finally, with bitter resolve, he spoke—his voice hollow and pained.
"…I quit that job… because I killed a man."
Reika's eyes locked onto him from the side. That answer had never once crossed her mind.
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