Author's Note: I am not an editor or a professional writer. I will write this and edit it to the best of my ability. I also do not own Uma Musume, which is owned by Cygames. Watch the animes and read the mangas, for they are pretty good. Finally, please enjoy.
King Wild & Author POV
We arrived in my girlfriend's room after the thrashing most of the team had received, and I handed Spice over to her.
Author: It's actually been a few hours, and a lot of stuff has happened in between. Still, she ignores those facts because she's delusional as fuck.
KiWi: Author, it's been a while since you haven't been showing up lately, so I assumed you faded into the background like the other authors.
Author: For you, KiWi, that will never be the case.
We both smiled at each other while cursing each other out in our minds.
Author: Note: Even though this is true, I can hear her curses, but she can't hear mine.
Still, I noticed my girlfriend had been meditating like crazy while I was sitting around bored in her bed. She was doing her dumbass inner-world research again.
Author: I look at Jo and realize she's going to access the Zone way ahead of schedule. That isn't good. If she accesses it and teaches the rest of the team—and she will—the team will become so overpowered that no other team would stand a chance. I had to stop her and quickly seal her path there.
I soon came up with a plan and said, "Hey, KiWi, if you're so bored, why don't you get her attention and have her spend the night with you?"
He's right.
I immediately began trying to get Jo's attention. I tried everything, using every noise imaginable to snap her out of her meditation. That's when I remembered something.
Jo only wakes up to her alarm clock.
Soon, I grabbed it and changed the alarm to go off immediately.
Author: Yeah, I'm really hoping this works. Jo is really close to unlocking the Zone, and if she does, I don't know if anyone will be able to stop her—or the team—in competitions. That means no challenges for the team and no excitement for my novels. Jo must be stopped, or all the suspense in this novel disappears.
Soon, the alarm rang and woke Jo up.
She was pissed.
But when she looked at me, I smiled.
She immediately grabbed the alarm from my hands and crushed it into a million pieces with one hand.
Damn.
Uma Musume strength combined with rage was fucking terrifying.
She soon began chasing me as I dodged her, laughing the entire time. Eventually, she caught me and held me down.
I asked her, "So, what now, EnJo? What do you want to do with me?"
I even used her pet name, hoping that would convince her to spare me.
Alas, she brought out the restraints.
I screamed, "Goddesses damn it, EnJo! Why?!"
She angrily responded as she put on every restraint she could find.
"You know why."
Soon, I was tied up, gagged, and shoved into the closet, strapped to the floor.
Author: While KiWi is dealing with that, I began sneaking into Jo's mind and trying to get past her mental defenses. I can't easily put mental barriers on people, and outright mind control is impossible. I can't simply change someone's emotions or force them to do what I want.
Why, even though I'm basically a godlike figure?
The answer is simple.
The true gods protect people from the influence of other gods, evil beings, and even other people through mystical means.
The only ways to actually brainwash someone involve scientific methods that require actual skill, such as hypnosis, psychological manipulation, or social conditioning.
The Uma Musume are also protected by the three goddesses I negotiated with to bring these fifteen souls into this world. They agreed on the condition that I wouldn't interfere with non-adult Uma Musume and that I would stick to what I originally sought out to accomplish.
That was great news for me, especially since I had chosen adult vessels with healthy bodies that could be transformed thanks to the fifteen souls.
Now I had to accomplish this while Jo was distracted by her rage and wasn't thinking clearly. Otherwise, she'd notice me immediately and kick me out of her mind.
I thought I was going to fail when she was about to sit down and begin meditating again.
Then Spice's text message arrived.
It pissed Jo off all over again, giving me exactly the opening I needed.
I finally reached the part of her mind I was looking for.
There, I created a door with a timer. It was programmed to open around halfway through the first year. It couldn't be bypassed from the outside unless Jo met another god who could unlock it for her.
That's why, tonight, I needed to make a notice and send it to every god possible.
I was about to leave when I saw KiWi walking out of the closet.
Damn.
She really was a master of escape.
KiWi: I escaped by easily breaking through all my restraints. The ropes weren't Uma Musume-grade at all.
I soon sneaked out of the closet while Jo was distracted by a text message. Thank goodness my phone was on vibrate.
I climbed back onto the bed without Jo noticing.
Damn, Jo really did lose all sense of the world whenever she got distracted.
I soon read the text message too.
It said:
"Yo, guess whose girl just got her agency hired as the Org's primary agency?"
I immediately cursed Spice out in response.
Jo suddenly noticed the message.
"Huh?"
I smugly announced, "Great news about Ayana, right? But man, I still hate Spice right now."
She looked at me in shock as another message arrived.
I read it aloud.
"Huh. The staff are having a meeting tonight. How interesting."
Jo was still staring at me in disbelief.
I grinned.
"Oh... you thought those restraints could hold me? Girl, I've escaped the author's restraints before, and he's a godlike being in this world."
Her face changed.
Shock.
Then disbelief.
Then absolute focus.
I knew that look.
And I now knew I was screwed.
Not in the good way.
Author: I soon manipulated time for a few seconds and handed the restraints I had specifically created for KiWi to Jo. Then I put a sarcophagus in the closet as the second part of the tools I needed to contain KiWi.
That bitch had punched me in the face earlier.
She deserved some of my attention.
Even though creating the sarcophagus had taken a ridiculous amount of power, it would be worth it.
Soon enough, I turned time back on.
And the show began.
Jo and KiWi both noticed what Jo was holding.
KiWi looked at me with complete rage.
I smiled, blew her a kiss, made a heart shape with my hands, and placed it over my chest.
I mouthed:
"Love you too, bitch."
Then I waved goodbye.
I floated away from both of them as Jo reached KiWi and began restraining her.
Soon, she carried KiWi toward the closet and saw the sarcophagus.
KiWi saw it too.
She looked at me as if she were screaming:
"Really, bro?"
She couldn't actually say it, though. She was gagged.
I was laughing my ass off as the whole thing happened.
She was placed inside the sarcophagus, and for once, everything became quiet.
Jo eventually returned to meditating.
But her path was blocked by the door I had left behind.
And now Jo could perceive it.
She stopped.
For the first time, she came to the conclusion that I actually existed.
Still, to my surprise, she didn't free KiWi.
Instead, Jo simply began researching the door.
Great.
Back to research.
I was bored again.
Eventually, I decided to leave.
Not only was my work here finished and everything had finally quieted down, but I also didn't want to be anywhere nearby when KiWi eventually got out.
So I left.
KiWi: Author, you asshole.
I couldn't believe it.
That asshole hadn't only done something to Jo. He had also helped Jo trap me inside a fucking mummy coffin.
I was gagged, restrained in a straitjacket, and trapped inside a sarcophagus.
All of it had been enhanced with godly magic specifically designed to restrain me.
Hours passed.
Eventually, I fell asleep, still pissed off inside the Egyptian box.
Morning finally arrived.
What did I hate more than the author winning?
What did I hate more than being trapped inside this box?
Seeing Jo push herself like this.
She almost always pushed her limits to advance her research somehow. I could already see her killing herself through exhaustion and a lack of sleep.
I hated it.
I hated this entire situation.
I hated watching her push herself like this.
I hated knowing that, no matter how hard I tried, Jo might one day kill herself by constantly pushing her limits in the name of progress.
And the worst part?
There wasn't much I could do about it.
All I could do was gather up my feelings and pout about it.
She ignored me again.
But this was still the woman I loved.
Even as she cruelly said, "Get your ass up and get out of my room before I throw you out. I don't have time for your petty bullshit when you did nothing but be a problem last night."
Even as she went to take a shower, I cried as I left.
Guess I really was crazy.
Because despite everything, I'd be back to bother her again the next time I saw her.
Next time, I'd be back to make sure she didn't overwork herself.
Jo, if I wasn't already crazy, I'd say you drive me crazy.
I know you wonder why I keep messing with you.
It's easy, really.
If being crazy is what it takes to stop you from killing yourself in the name of progress, then I don't want to be sane.
I ran back to my room, took my own shower, and got dressed.
The entire time, I was crying.
After the tears finally dried, I went to breakfast.
And there she was.
Jo.
She was already there, completely focused on her research as usual.
I kept pouting.
She ignored me.
As usual.
I looked around the room.
It seemed like no one had gotten a good night's sleep after everything that happened.
Soon enough, things began moving forward.
The crazy night had ended.
And another crazy day had begun.
Eventually, I finally stopped pouting.
I grabbed a cup of water, walked over to Jo...
And dumped it directly over her head.