Two weeks had passed. In all that time, Sabuko had done nothing but grind out missions alongside brutal stamina and strength conditioning with Guy.
"I'm bored outta my ass, believe it," Naruto groaned, slumping over the counter as he and Sabuko sat at Ichiraku's stand.
Joined, for once, by Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi.
"Hmph," Sasuke scoffed.
"Geez... this again? Stop complaining so much." Sakura sighed outwardly, though inside she was practically vibrating with frustration.
'I completely agree! These chores are so dull, shannaro!'
"Eh." Sabuko shrugged, slurping up a mouthful of noodles. "Be careful what you wish for, I'd say."
"Don't talk with your mouth full," Kakashi murmured from behind his book.
'Tch.' Sabuko shot him a flat look. 'What's his deal, singling me out like this? Naruto talks with his mouth full twenty-four seven.'
"Don't read porn novels next to kids, then," Sabuko deadpanned, eyeing the orange cover of Make-Out Paradise in the jōnin's hand.
Kakashi visibly flinched.
'Damn it,' he thought, eyeing Sabuko over the top of the pages.
'This kid and his snarky remarks again. And why does he always phrase things like he isn't one of the kids?'
"AH!? So THAT'S what that book is?!" Naruto snapped, jabbing an accusing finger at Kakashi.
"I KNEW it was something shady like that!"
"What it is or isn't is none of your business, Naruto," Kakashi sighed, snapping the book shut.
"You're always tryin' to act all cool and sophisticated, but you're actually a huge pervert, just like Old Man Hokage and Iruka-sensei, believe it!" Naruto shouted.
"Sabuko was totally right about—"
Sabuko lunged over and clamped his palm tightly over Naruto's mouth.
'Don't say it out loud, dumbass,' Sabuko thought, sweating bullets. 'I'm never giving you combat tips or gossip again.'
"Enough, Naruto! You're being a pain!" Sakura growled.
"Notmmff you toomff, Sakurmff-chanfff..." Naruto grumbled straight into Sabuko's palm.
"Haaah... what a dunce." Sasuke shook his head.
"WHATMFFF WAS THAT, SASUKE!??!"
'How the hell did these guys end up as one of the most iconic teams in the whole series?' Sabuko deadpanned internally, finally pulling his hand back and wiping the spit on Naruto's orange jacket.
'Oh, right.' Sabuko glanced at Sasuke.
'Emo boy wasn't even around for most of it. Of course they got along great once he left.'
"Anyway, Sabuko-kun," Kakashi said, his tone turning a bit firmer, "I hear Guy's been training you pretty rough lately."
Everyone turned to look at Kakashi.
"How's that going for you, juggling solo missions on top of his regimen?"
Every pair of eyes along the counter shifted onto Sabuko.
'Oh, right,' Naruto thought, glancing at him. 'Sabuko got approved to operate as a lone genin...'
'...While I got stuck babysitting a team,' Sasuke silently finished the thought, his brow furrowing. He clicked his tongue.
'Tch. Must be sheer luck. He doesn't look all that impressive.'
Naruto blinked, swallowing his bite of pork.
'I never really stopped to think about it, believe it. Does that mean Sabuko might... actually be kinda strong, huh?'
All of a sudden, both Naruto and Sasuke straightened up in their seats.
"...?"
They stared down at Sabuko's nearly empty ramen bowl. Then they slowly looked at each other, sparks practically flying between their eyes, before burying their faces in their bowls and inhaling their noodles at inhuman speed.
'I WON'T LOSE!!' both boys roared inside their heads, chewing furiously.
'The fuck are these two doing?' Sabuko tilted his head, watching them choke down broth.
"Well, Sabuko-kun?" Kakashi prompted.
"Oh, it's been alright," Sabuko said, scratching the back of his head and leaning against the counter.
"I moved into my own place, I'm paying my own bills..." He glanced up at the tarp roof, counting it off on his fingers.
"How reliable!" Sakura muttered, impressed.
"I LIVE ON MY OWN TOOMFFF, SAKURA-CHAN~~!" Naruto garbled around a mouthful of noodles.
"YOU DON'T COUNT!!" she shrieked, swatting at him.
"...And I guess it gets a little rough with Guy-sensei's morning lessons, but I manage fine with Shadow Clones," Sabuko continued, completely unfazed, as if the two of them weren't even there.
'He calls Guy "sensei" so naturally now,' Kakashi thought, his visible eye curving into a warm smile.
'That's nice.'
Sakura's eyes widened. "Shadow Clones? What do you mean, Sabuko-kun?"
'Eh, it's not like it's a village secret.' Sabuko shrugged.
"Well, I have my Shadow Clones handle the easy fetch missions around town while I train with Guy-sensei. It brings in a solid amount of cash, which lets me focus on training with Guy-sensei more... eh, intensively, I guess."
"EHH!?" Naruto slammed his chopsticks down after swallowing.
"THAT'S HELLA SMART, BELIEVE IT! KAKASHI-SENSEI, FROM NOW ON I'M SLEEPIN' IN AND SENDIN' MY CLONES TO DO ALL THOSE BORING-ASS MISSIONS!"
"As if!" Kakashi rapped his knuckles squarely against Naruto's skull.
"OUUCH!!" Naruto clutched his head. "BUT WHY!?? SABUKO GETS TO DO IT!"
"Sabuko-kun isn't on our team, so I can't dictate how he runs his schedule. You are showing up in person, and that's final."
Naruto crossed his arms with a stubborn pout.
"Whatever. It's not like you'll be able to tell if it's a clone or not, so I'll just send 'em anyway, believe it!"
"Your sensei has a sixth sense for slacking, and he always knows!" Kakashi shot back, his single eye narrowing dangerously.
"And just to be thorough, if you ever try pulling that stunt..." He held his hands up, forming the dreaded tiger-seal finger gun.
"I'll use my super special secret technique, One Thousand Years of Death, on you every single morning to verify you don't poof into smoke."
A violent shiver wracked Naruto's entire body, his face turning sheet-white.
"I... I'll come in person... believe it..." Naruto mumbled weakly.
"Good," Kakashi sighed, flipping his book right back open.
"To start with, I'm the one who taught you the Shadow Clone Jutsu anyway, believe it..." Naruto muttered under his breath, sulkily poking at his leftover noodles with his chopsticks.
"Yep. You sure did." Sabuko smirked, resting his chin on his palm as he looked over at Naruto.
"It seriously saved my ass, Naruto."
Naruto froze, looking back at him with wide blue eyes.
"Thank you," Sabuko said simply.
Beside them, Sasuke quietly looked away, while Sakura's mouth fell slightly open in surprise. Even Kakashi paused his reading to cast a lingering glance at the exchange.
'Fuck, was that too much?' Sabuko thought.
"H-hehe..." A massive, sheepish grin spread across Naruto's flushed face as he squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed the back of his head.
"W-well, I told you I'm amazing. You don't gotta get all serious about it, believe it... somethin' like that is nothing for the future Hokage..."
'Phew.' Sabuko's shoulders loosened.
"Haaaah..." Sakura shook her head, exasperated.
"You really shouldn't inflate his ego like that, Sabuko-kun. Now he's going to be ten times more annoying."
"...Agreed," Sasuke muttered, though his voice sounded a touch hesitant.
"WHAT WAS THAT, SASUKE!?" Naruto instantly whipped back around, all embarrassment vanishing as he bared his teeth at his teammate.
'How do they even have the stamina to keep that loop going all day?' Sabuko wondered, watching the two of them go right back at each other's throats.
Just then, Kakashi's visible eye widened ever so slightly, as if he'd sensed something outside. He snapped his book shut and slid off his stool.
"Excuse me, you guys. I need to take a long bathroom break."
"Pervert," Sabuko murmured under his breath, not even looking up from his broth.
Kakashi's eye twitched, and he nearly tripped over his own sandals.
'...Y'know what, maybe I really should pull some strings and get this brat transferred onto my team, just so I can teach him some manners,' Kakashi fumed, clenching his fist out of sight as he ducked out through the ramen stand's curtains.
Once he stepped out into the empty street, the irritation faded from his face, replaced by a quiet sigh as he tilted his head up toward the clouds.
High above the rooftops, a dark messenger crow, dispatched straight from the Hokage's tower, circled in a tight, deliberate pattern: the official summons for every jōnin leading a rookie team.
'Guess it's already that time of year,' Kakashi thought, slipping his hands into his pockets.
The Chūnin Exams were officially on the horizon.