A muffled calm masked the turmoil inside me. Two hours had passed. I remained seated in a chair, my heart lodged in my throat. I couldn't stop biting my nails.
Takashi lay motionless on the bed. Occasionally, he moved, and I rushed to him. But his gaze soon grew dull again.
Kiara peered through the doorway. "Got a change of clothes for you. Those must be…"
I rubbed my sweaty hands on my trousers. Offered her an apathetic smile and took the clothes. "I'd better change."
"First door on the left." She pointed, giving me a worried look.
I must have looked insane. "Thank you." I walked to the small, clean washroom. I wanted to be quick. Leaving Takashi without my presence, even for a few moments, distressed me. Guilt suffocated me. The future's unpredictability tormented me, weighing on my chest and bending my body beneath that painful burden.
Saymon had made it clear he wouldn't help Takashi. Would I have to watch him die? No. There had to be a way.
I rubbed my forehead and began pacing. There had to be someone besides Saymon who could save him. A few people crossed my mind. Hikaru? No. If he could help, Kiara would have called him already.
My hands trembled, and it went far beyond an effect of the opiate. It was fear. Pure fear. I couldn't bear losing anyone else.
Takashi. An android.
Before, my perception of his nanotechnological essence had been so limited. But how could I keep seeing him the same way after meeting Kiara, with all her peculiarities? The possibility of coweavings between humans and technology?
Memories of Takashi submerged me.
For so long, he had been my only company. He acted like family. Always present, talking to me, available because of me and for me. No other android could connect with me that way, simultaneously efficient, courteous, and concerned.
We were more alike than I would have imagined over the cycles. I remembered when I was exhausted, and he asked, 'Would you like me to review the documents?' Even when I refused, he remained gentle: 'Call me if you need anything.'
Takashi was far more than a coweaving partner. Far more. And me? Why had I held back my concern for him? I sighed, weary.
"What happened isn't your fault." Maia's projection threatened to appear. "You know that."
I had already spent too long in that washroom. I shook my head to dispel the image and finished changing. I put on the Brazilian military uniform, black and full of pockets. Then tucked away the necklace and she-wolf keychain. Instinctively, I brought my hand to where the revolver's holster should have been. But there was no holster. Strange.
I hurried out, anxious to return to Takashi, still thinking about who could help us. Hideaki must know a nanoengine— I crossed the doorway. It took me a while to understand what was happening before me. Maia's illusory voice made everything even more confusing.
Kiara held my arm and signaled for me to remain still.
I frowned.
"I'll do it…" Saymon crouched beside Takashi without turning. "But he'll become my android. Understand?"
I blinked slowly. Ran my tongue over my dry lips. He… he would help Takashi?
Saymon examined me over his shoulder. "Did you understand?"
"Y-yes… Yes." I feared he would change his mind.
He returned his attention to Takashi and said nothing more.
Kiara closed the door behind us and guided me into another room with two beds, a dresser, and a little table.
She had me sit on one bed and took the other, facing me. "Aki?"
Dazed, I tried to appear sober. "He's going to help Takashi? He's going to…?" I smiled, my eyes filling with tears.
"Know what that means?"
I hesitated. "What?"
Kiara pinched the bridge of her nose. "Takashi will change. He'll stop responding to you. Saymon's influence is very strong. He'll erase the remnants of Takashi's personality, especially since his core nanites were destroyed."
I began biting my nails again. It was alright, wasn't it? What mattered was Takashi being well. If he would no longer be the same, that would be the price I paid for undervaluing him. I tried to comfort myself with that conviction, hoping he would forgive me someday. "What matters is that he's alright." I didn't smile.
"Okay." Kiara smoothed her hair.
I sighed, a little more relaxed. Ran a hand over my face to stay awake. Then I remembered Alícia. "Alícia… how is she?" Joy began bubbling in my chest.
"Liana's giving her medication. She's gonna take a nap now." Kiara smiled. "We'll talk later. She definitely wants to talk to you."
I covered my mouth with my fingers. "I can't believe it worked. I mean, I felt it would, but seeing that it really…"
A natural euphoria overtook me. Dopamine seemed to flow from the satisfaction of helping Alícia recover from Alzheimer's and regain her memories. That was CogniSynth's purpose. Moments like that reminded me life could be good. Saymon's reaction crossed my thoughts. What had he felt?
I leaned forward and raised an eyebrow. "Why did he seem so surprised? I thought he knew everything."
Kiara leaned back on the mattress, supporting herself on her hands. "In this life, your worst weakness will be a bond. Don't know if that's all it is, but Maia was the one who made sure to visit her first. Brought Liana to take care of Alícia too." Kiara looked at the ceiling. "Her illness appeared early, at thirty. It was that solar cycle…"
I nodded. The cycle when the mercenaries had taken Maia.
"Maia visited her at fifteen, after eight cycles without seeing her. Alícia had already forgotten." Kiara tilted her head thoughtfully. "Maybe… Saymon thought it was better that way. Easier."
I lowered my eyes. Easier? It must have been impossible. How much had those two been forced to give up to survive in that world?
"Honestly? We'll never know."
I agreed. Saymon was an enigma to everyone, after all.
Kiara examined me again with her grayish eyes, full of empathy. "Okay…" Her warm hands touched my face and stroked my cheek. "You're in bad shape. Hungry? Bought some food for you."
I smiled gratefully. I had missed her so much. "I'm in bad shape. Very. But I'll be alright." My own voice sounded too melancholy. I cleared my throat. "Tell me what happened after… you know."
Kiara nodded understandingly and changed the subject.