Why do these memories keep coming back…
Repeating themselves?
I didn't have them anymore.
I had overcome them.
Or at least, I believed I had.
Why am I remembering this?
It's already over.
It was far from being able to touch me.
But then… the pain returns.
And I am that child again.
How many cycles had I lived?
Maybe seven or eight.
I walked down the stairs on a cold night, but I forgot why.
I stopped halfway and hid behind the wall when I heard shouting.
I had heard those screams before.
They were becoming more and more frequent.
I trembled.
Fear.
That voice.
My father's voice.
"You think you're better than me?"
I lowered my head.
He slapped my mother across the face.
My blood froze and my heart nearly stopped.
What was happening?
I wanted to cry.
"You think you're better than me for weaving the last NeuroSync code?"
Another slap.
A scream.
Riki threw Hideaki to the ground.
She leaned against the couch.
Crying desperately, shaking her head in denial.
"I-I… no…"
Her disheveled hair fell over her red, bloodied face — as did her hands.
She curled in on herself.
Arms raised to protect herself.
In vain.
Riki shoved her.
Each blow drove her body deeper into the floor.
"You think you're better than me?!
ANSWER ME!!!"
His face burned with fury.
Hideaki stayed silent.
"You must have liked all that attention, didn't you?"
My stuffed animal fell onto the step below.
When I tried to grab it, I fell.
My head hit the wall.
Silence.
I picked up the plush and sat down, rubbing my forehead.
And then… everything changed.
Riki was staring at me. Furious.
My mother lifted her face.
Her eyes, wet, reflected guilt and sadness.
He walked toward me.
Teeth clenched.
"What do you think you're doing?"
I shrank back and hugged my teddy bear.
He yanked my hair hard.
Tears ran down my face.
My child's soul seemed to slip away with them.
"I-I wanted to drink water."
Was that the reason?
Did I come downstairs for water?
The certainty faded.
My mother crawled toward us.
"LET HER GO!"
She tried to pull him, but he didn't budge.
"LET HER GO!!!"
She grabbed his arm harder — he was too strong.
"You should stop studying at ten.
There's a water dispenser in your room.
Where is Takashi?"
There was a threat in his voice.
I trembled.
"Go back upstairs. We'll talk tomorrow."
He released my hair.
I remained frozen.
"NOW!"
I gathered what strength I had and ran to my room.
The last thing I heard was the slaps… and Hideaki's screams.
My mother's scream—
It stayed with me.
It is still with me.
Even now.
Even after everything.