"Make yourself at home."
After bringing Eriri back to the Service Club room, Asakura spoke casually. "What do you want to drink?"
"Coke, I guess." Although this wasn't her first time here, Eriri clearly didn't have much of an impression of her last visit. She looked with curiosity at the Service Club room, which was divided by a clear line: the Magic Club's side was a mess of various items and furniture—like a dining table and cupboards—that definitely didn't look like they belonged in a school (there was even a safe in the cabinet!), while the Service Club's side had nothing but an old school desk and a few chairs.
"Sorry, the club members drank it all..." Asakura said after checking the cabinet.
"Juice is fine then."
"That's gone too..." Asakura said with a hint of lament.
Since Yanami had been restricted to only four meals a day, the consumption of snacks in the club room hadn't decreased, but the loss of beverages had skyrocketed...
Wait, something feels off about that?
"Fresh milk—"
"Why do you think a club would keep something with such a short shelf life in their room at the end of the semester?"
"Then what do you actually have here?" Eriri sighed, looking at Asakura with cute, dead-fish eyes.
"Is black tea okay?"
"Then what was the point of asking me what I wanted in the first place..."
"It's a commitment to the way of hospitality."
"What a stingy way of hospitality."
Munch, munch.
"Why are you eating snacks yourself! Your 'commitment' is way too fragile!"
"Just so you know, I don't actually make noise when I eat. I just did that for the 'show effect' to make the food look delicious and make you jealous."
"Knowledge I didn't want to know has increased!"
Eriri clutched her head, making a pained sound. "Forget it, stop with these weird topics. Let's get to the main point!"
"Regarding that, I actually looked it up. Eromanga-sensei seems to be a famous illustrator, right? I didn't expect them to draw those kinds of booklets..."
"That's the second generation! The first generation was actually more... NO!!! That's not what I'm here to talk about!"
Realizing she had been led back into the booklet topic again, Eriri's face turned red, and she glared at Asakura.
"Oh, it's not that?" Asakura blinked.
"I need your help with something..." Eriri started, then suddenly realized her words sounded like she was trying to get free labor, so she quickly added, "Of course, I won't let you work for nothing. If the problem is solved, I can provide some compensation."
Asakura took a sip of tea and adopted an attentive posture for the anxious girl.
Eriri then continued, "I have a friend..."
"Is that 'friend' you?"
"IT! IS! NOT!" Eriri emphasized, word by word.
"Don't mind me, I was just asking based on a general rule of thumb." Asakura made a "please" gesture.
"Is it my imagination, or is there a subtle malice in your 'general rules'?"
The girl muttered softly before continuing. "Anyway, that person has no friends and a terrible personality. They're arrogant, look down on others, are a total brat, speak bluntly and harshly, and are incredibly toxic and sharp-tongued..."
"Let me just ask, this friend of yours..." Asakura made a grasping gesture in front of his chest, "are they an AA-cup?"
"If only that were the case. Unfortunately, that fat woman's bust is a full 89..." Eriri said regretfully. "She's a C-cup bordering on D."
"I see. It seems we aren't thinking of the same person..." Asakura said, sounding equally regretful.
"You know someone like that too? How pitiful..." Eriri couldn't help but say. "But yours definitely isn't as bad as mine."
"Hmph, since you put it that way, I have to mention mine—she has no friends, and every time someone pokes her where it hurts, she says weird things like 'let's redefine what a friend is' to cover it up..." Asakura said proudly. "The one I know is definitely more distorted!"
"No, Kasumigaoka is definitely worse!"
"No, Yukinoshita is absolutely more distorted!"
"What are you talking about? Yours sounds like just a pathetic loner. Kasumigaoka is a toxic personality who drives away anyone who gets close!"
"If anything, being just toxic makes them a normal person. Mine is a high school sophomore with 'Chuunibyou' symptoms who thinks she's seen through the coldness of the world at such a young age. A normal person couldn't possibly compete with that level of quirkiness!"
"..."
"..."
After bickering for a while, the two of them calmed down at the same time.
After all, arguing like children over such a small thing left a strange sense of emptiness once they realized it.
"Alright, let's get back to your toxic friend..." Asakura coughed and spoke first.
Eriri first muttered "not a friend" under her breath (Asakura: You should look back at what you said three minutes ago!!), then continued: "Because she and I don't really get along, we don't usually meet up... but when I bumped into her at school two days ago, she was like a completely different person..."
"Tell me more."
Hearing this, Asakura's attitude became a bit more serious. "Did she develop many habits that are clearly different from before, or is she secretly doing something eerie?"
"No, her small habits haven't really changed, but her behavior is very different from before..."
"Meaning, it's unlikely to be a case of possession by an evil spirit?" Asakura rubbed his chin and thought for a moment. "Can you explain specifically how her behavior changed?"
"To put it simply, she's become very polite."
"...Huh?"
"She's much gentler in how she treats people. If anything, her personality isn't as strong or sharp as before; you could even say she's a bit cowardly... but because of that, she stopped skipping class to sleep, her attitude toward studying seems much more serious, and even some teachers who didn't like her before have changed their opinion of her recently..."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"It's not a good thing at all! It's really bad! That woman was already a top-tier honor student, if she gets even more perfect... I mean, weird, then my standing would..."
"..."
This kid only thinks about herself.