"Qiumian, which song do you want to sing? I'll help you order it."
The girl named Xu Zhiruo turned her head.
If Zhang Shutong were here, he would recognize her as the short-haired girl who was always with Gu Qiumian, whom he jokingly called "the little secretary."
The lights in the screening room were flickering. The other two girls were clapping to cheer her on. Xu Zhiruo was a little proud, posing with the microphone in her hand. A sharp buzzing sound suddenly came from the speakers. She quickly straightened the microphone and stuck out her tongue.
"You guys sing," Xu Zhiruo casually handed the microphone to a girl and turned to the sofa. A girl with a medium-length haircut and an oval face was sitting there. The girl was wearing a red and black checkered sweater today, a bright and lovely style, but her mood was not so bright. On the contrary, her expression was minimal. She would only symbolically clap her hands when a song was changed, showing a complete young lady's demeanor.
"What's wrong, what's wrong? Are you in a bad mood?" Xu Zhiruo leaned toward Gu Qiumian and shook her arm playfully.
A new song had been ordered. It was a rock song, and the powerful drumbeats seemed to be about to swallow their voices.
"Why would I ask you guys to come if I were in a bad mood?" Gu Qiumian let her hold her arm and gently pushed her forehead. "You worry too little. Don't worry about me. Take care of yourself first."
In reality, they were very close friends in private. Their relationship, which seemed like a superior-subordinate one on the outside, was mostly for show. Of course, sometimes when Gu Qiumian was in a really bad mood, Xu Zhiruo was willing to accommodate her and act as a little secretary who ran around and read her emotions. If Zhang Shutong were here, he would be shocked, but that was just how complex and changeable girls' relationships were.
"Who made our Qiumian angry again? Tell me, and I'll tell Uncle," she acted like a little toady.
"No one. Just don't ask so many questions," Gu Qiumian said irritably.
"How can I do that? We agreed that I'd be your secretary when you become a boss. I should take good care of you," she said with a joke. "And you've been looking at your phone all this time. Are you chatting with a boy? Who is he? Did he get your QQ?"
"A classmate," Gu Qiumian didn't even raise her eyes. "You're so nosy. I'm chatting about something else, something serious. Did you see the bodyguards upstairs? Something's going on at home these past few days."
Xu Zhiruo didn't believe her at first, but Gu Qiumian showed her the phone directly, without any intention of hiding anything. The girl quickly read a few chat logs and was very disappointed.
Not to mention any ambiguous messages, there wasn't even any casual chat. She didn't believe it and scrolled to the top of the chat log. They were all very dry messages.
An ID called "Xintao Jiufu" asked:
"How is it?"
Another ID called "Qiuyu Mianmian" replied:
"Don't worry."
Or the latter would take the initiative to say, "I'm fine over here," and the former would say, "Be safe."
What a dense piece of wood, Xu Zhiruo thought. "Hey, my friend, is that how you talk to a girl?"
She said she was fine, and you believed it?
If she was really fine, she wouldn't have just replied with "I'm fine."
She picked up the fruit tea on the coffee table and took a sip. The coffee table was made of precious mahogany, of top quality, but Xu Zhiruo felt that it wasn't as top-notch as this guy.
"Is he a boy from our school?" Xu Zhiruo asked again.
"Yeah."
"What grade is he in?"
"The same grade."
"I've never heard you mention knowing a boy before," Xu Zhiruo murmured. "I'm heartbroken thinking that I've been kept in the dark for four years."
"Then be heartbroken," Gu Qiumian rolled her eyes. "You're only in the third year of junior high. Did I keep it from you since elementary school?"
"Then when did you two meet?" she asked with a grin.
"Wednesday."
"Which Wednesday?"
"This Wednesday, of course," Gu Qiumian said casually.
Xu Zhiruo counted on her fingers and said in surprise, "Only four days?"
She now felt that she had underestimated that guy. If they had been talking like this for four years, he would undoubtedly be a block of wood.
But after only four days, he was already talking about heavy topics like "your safety." Hey, hero, where did you come from?
"I just thought of it. It's not your deskmate, is it? I even talked to him. I heard that he helped with the blocks on Thursday?"
Gu Qiumian hummed in agreement again.
"He who courts you without a cause is either a thief or a scoundrel! You have to be careful!"
"What should I be careful about?" Gu Qiumian asked strangely.
"Although I admit he's handsome, you've only known him for four days. Anyway, don't believe everything he says. Is it possible that he's being an alarmist? Is it possible that he's trying to get your attention? Is it possible that he's playing hard to get? But I already felt something was off with you two during the morning reading that day."
"What's off with us?"
"How should I put it? It's like... you've known each other for a long time? You seem to have known him for a long time, and he seems to have known you for a long time. Anyway, if you didn't tell me beforehand, I would never have guessed that you've only known each other for four days."
Gu Qiumian didn't answer but instead asked:
"Stop talking about me. What about you? Did that boy who likes you get a yes?"
"The one from the next class? He's so annoying," Xu Zhiruo threw herself onto the sofa. "I've already told him I don't feel anything, but he keeps bothering me. He asks my deskmate to give me cards and buys me breakfast... Ugh, I've said no countless times, but he still won't give up. Can I borrow two of your underlings later? I can't handle it on my own."
"What underlings? That sounds so ugly."
"Then 'young ladies'?"
"Don't call me that either."
"Anyway, I hate people who won't give up," Xu Zhiruo showed her canine teeth in protest. "Just like your deskmate. He keeps asking if you're okay. You've already said no. Can't he hear it? He still asks. It's so annoying."
"But you told me you were a little touched last week," Gu Qiumian asked. She was referring to the boy who had a crush on her.
"I was a little touched. After all, he's so thoughtful. He knows what I like to eat, what books I read, and whose songs I listen to. Although his knowledge might not be that deep, he's at least willing to put on a show. He would even go out to buy milk tea during breaks. I used to think this kind of thing was a bit ridiculous. Who needs that one cup of milk tea? But when it actually happens to you, and other people cheer you on, it's pretty touching."
"And then?" Gu Qiumian quietly waited for the turning point.
"So it's better not to say yes on impulse. Then I found out that I don't actually have any feelings for him, so I quickly rejected him. What do you think?"
Xu Zhiruo continued:
"So Qiumian, you have to think carefully. He won't give up, so you have to guard against him. Don't be impulsive."
Gu Qiumian blinked:
"It's not what you think. He's not being persistent. He's worried about me. Don't wrongly accuse him."
"Then shouldn't you be happy? A handsome suitor?"
Gu Qiumian shook her head and didn't speak.
"Sigh. Do you want to take a photo? I just found a cool photo app. It's pretty good. We can take some photo booth pictures, but it's only available on the Apple App Store. Let me borrow your phone again," she also knew that the other person didn't know much about these things, so she started messing with it herself. She leaned in close to Gu Qiumian. "Look at the camera and smile..."
The shutter clicked, and the image was frozen.
"Qiumian, you're going for a cool look today," Xu Zhiruo said, looking down at the screen. "Do you want me to add a cute filter?"
Gu Qiumian hummed absently.
The girl quickly finished and clicked on the album. "How about this one?"
Gu Qiumian nodded.
"Then what about this one?"
She swiped through the photos one by one. They were all the same photo, but on her phone, they showed several styles: bright and lovely, anime style, and a sad blue tone... Until a boy's face unexpectedly appeared in front of them.
"This is..."
Xu Zhiruo was stunned. She recognized that this was Gu Qiumian's deskmate. The background seemed to be inside a car, and it was a snowy night outside.
She knew she was wrong again. Their relationship was much deeper, or much more complicated, than she thought. It wasn't a cat-and-mouse game. This was clearly them eloping in a car!
"Wow, eloping. He even dared to take you out secretly in a car..."
Gu Qiumian was also stunned when she saw this photo. She knew it was taken on the night they were practicing driving. After a moment of silence, the girl pointed at the screen with her finger:
"Didn't you see that there's another person in the passenger seat?"
Xu Zhiruo looked carefully and vaguely saw the silhouette of a man. But this made her even more confused:
"Then what were you guys doing? This looks kind of scary."
Through the front windshield, she could see the road being dyed warm yellow by the headlights, which looked like candles. The night was pitch black, and it was snowing. The flash went off at the right time, illuminating the car in a stark white. The boy's action of turning his head was frozen in the frame. His expression was surprised and helpless. The owner of the phone had obviously taken a secret photo.
"The passenger is my homeroom teacher. Didn't I just say that we had something going on these past few days? We drove there that night."
Xu Zhiruo thought, "Qiumian, you're lying." What kind of serious matter would require an underage student to drive? If it were a serious matter, the teacher should be the one driving, right?
Even if it was a serious matter, why did you take a photo? And why was he looking at you? You must have been smiling happily then, not with the expression you have now.
But Gu Qiumian didn't want to say more. She asked her several times what their relationship was. She said it was just a normal classmate relationship. When she said this, she was drinking water, wetting her lips. Her mood was unreadable.
Xu Zhiruo knew she had finally hit the key point. She slapped her thigh:
"I know now. You're hesitating!"
"Hesitating?" Gu Qiumian's hand with the cup paused.
"You don't want to sing with us here at all, do you? Your heart is somewhere else, but you're too scared to go. You backed down!"
"Who..."
Gu Qiumian was about to argue. At this time, a song had ended. The two girls laughed and walked to the sofa, panting:
"Zhiruo, what are you talking to Qiumian about? We're the only two who sang. Ah, I'm so tired..."
Xu Zhiruo thought to herself, "I'm helping our Miss Mianmian out." After asking for a long time, she had finally hit the key part. The two little girls should not interrupt her motivational speech.
But Gu Qiumian had already stood up. She put down the empty crystal cup in her hand:
"I'll order a song too."
She picked up the microphone and bent over the song ordering machine.
"What's wrong with Qiumian? She's been looking at her phone on the sofa all day..."
"Alright, alright. Let's listen to her sing. Qiumian sings much better than us."
They fell silent, ready to clap and cheer. But when the intro started, they found that it was not her usual style. The girl in front of the screen was humming softly.
There was a silver pendant hanging from the tip of her hair today, but she was singing a quiet song, so it wouldn't sway with her movements.
"Do you remember what I told you about my girlfriend?"
Teacher Song had smoked too much, and his voice was a little hoarse:
"After I broke up with her, I felt sorry for her and was sad. I was depressed for a while and often drove around the island. At that time, the people around me didn't understand. My dad and mom, who were old people, were worried about me. They would take the boat to see me once a week. They didn't care if it was a weekend. They would come whenever they had time. At first, they didn't know the way and didn't want to tell me in advance, so they would come secretly. Once, I was teaching a class. I turned my head and saw them on the sports field, holding a basket of eggs and a slaughtered chicken... At that time, I had just started teaching, and I didn't even know all the students' parents, but my own parents came first.
"Then when I went back to the dorm, they started to persuade me as soon as they entered. 'Nanshan, you can't go on like this. You have to get over it.' Not only them, but the old principal from my previous school also called me, and so did my former colleagues and students. They all told me to be strong and to tell them if I had any problems. Why did I have to act like I was in self-imposed exile?
"So I would explain to them one by one. At that time, I was about twenty-three or twenty-four, a very awkward age. I was an adult, but I felt no different from a kid who just graduated from college. But you had to start being responsible for your life, so you couldn't just not answer the phone because you were sad. But how could I explain it? 'My girlfriend broke up with me'? I just couldn't say it."
Zhang Shutong knew that it should be "died" instead of "broke up" here.
"Now that I think about it, many people cared about me, but not many understood me, including my parents. So I probably understand how you feel. Don't think that you're making a big fuss. I'm telling you, this is nothing. I made a much bigger fuss than you back then."
Teacher Song chuckled:
"I remember you asked me how I was so familiar with the roads around here when we were practicing driving. It's because I drove so much. I've been to every corner of the island. Our island isn't that big, but I drove 20,000 kilometers in one year. What does that mean? A lap around the island is less than 20 kilometers, and there are many places where cars can't go. You can do the math and see how many laps I drove on average per day. Let me show you something—"
Teacher Song said and led him to the car. He opened the glove box on the passenger seat, and a whole box of cards fell out. They were all discount cards from gas stations. Each one only saved him three yuan.
But there was no gas station on the island at all. He had to go to the city every time. God knows how many times he had filled up.
Teacher Song felt a little lonely looking at the empty glove box. He put the cards back one by one and finally closed the box with a slap:
"It's just some small talk. If you really want me to say something else, I'll say one more thing. I've been on this island for four years and I've come to understand one thing. Life is a process of getting closure for yourself. If you're not satisfied with that closure, no one can persuade you otherwise."
Zhang Shutong nodded silently. He felt that what he said was right.
He was also asking himself what he was still holding on to. It was enough that Gu Qiumian didn't die. He should be able to breathe a sigh of relief, but many memory fragments wouldn't let him go easily. There was the regret of hearing about Gu Qiumian's death in his student days and the shock of seeing the hidden album in the nail salon eight years later.
There was something that had been on your mind for many years. You wouldn't remember it intentionally, but once it appeared in your mind, you would rack your brains to think about right and wrong, and better ways... All the efforts were in vain. What you really wanted was not right or wrong or a result, but a sense of regret for the things that could not be undone.
But Song Nanshan was someone who couldn't undo anything.
Some things were not as light as he said. A few days ago, he had heard from behind the police station door that the reason the man came to the island to teach was that his girlfriend was a local. The funeral was held on the island. The woman was buried here forever, and the man also stayed on the island because of it. The ability he had always wanted to get rid of might be something that his teacher had always dreamed of.
Zhang Shutong still had a gas card in his hand. He handed it to Teacher Song, but the other party didn't care:
"This useless thing only gives me a three-yuan discount. I can only use one at a time, and I get three more after I fill up. I can never use them all."
"Then why do you still keep them?"
Zhang Shutong felt that his question was stupid, but he just wanted to ask at this moment.
"Four years, Shutong," the man said softly. "You have to leave something behind after four years. I've been teaching you guys since your first year of junior high. In a way, you guys are proof, a trace. But you're also about to graduate. In half a year, you'll be gone. What will I have left? Only these things."
Zhang Shutong was half-understanding and half-confused. He felt a little melancholic for some reason, but Teacher Song suddenly smiled:
"That's a sentimental way of putting it. Why are you taking it seriously? I'm just too lazy to clean up. I just throw them in there every time I get gas."
He also lowered his voice:
"Actually, it's not just gas cards. Sometimes I can pick up flyers from the car window. You know what I'm talking about. I just threw them in there too. Luckily, you two didn't see them. Otherwise, my reputation would be ruined. I'm telling you this in advance. Don't misunderstand. I'm a virtuous man. If you dare to tell anyone, you can forget about being Qiumian's deskmate. I'll change your seats next week."
Zhang Shutong's sadness completely vanished.
Teacher Song chuckled and told him and Lu Qinglian to get out of the car. He said the three of them should go upstairs and wait. It was warmer inside.
As they passed the motorcycle, the man even had the time to pat the handlebar. "Hey, it's a Honda. I used to have one, but I sold it. Is this your dad's?"
Zhang Shutong nodded. He took out the mask he bought from the hospital from the bag and was about to put it on, but Teacher Song slapped it off casually:
"I have a habit of taking photos of cars I like. It's cool."