Chapter 106: Matter of Headaches
Robert was silent after hearing it all.
For once, the king had no immediate jest, no rough laugh, no sharp retort. What Artos had described was too large, too bloody, too real to be answered lightly.
At last Robert gave a slow nod.
"You really did some big things, Arty," he said. "I am proud of you of what you achieved."
Barristan Selmy, who had heard more than enough war to know the weight of such things, gave a slow nod as well.
"Yes," he said. "It is no small thing to come out of that alive, and sane besides. You handled yourself well. I understand your choice to leave your weapons behind. It is not easy to look upon the deaths of hundreds of thousands and remain unchanged."
Even Lancel, the young Lannister squire, seemed more impressed than before. He looked at Artos with open admiration, as though the northern lord had just become something larger than a man in his eyes.
Artos drank from his cup and let the silence settle a moment before answering.
"Aye," he said at last. "But there were too many things happening. There was no time to think on whether I was sane or not. I avoided it at first. Then came Braavos. The Iron Bank. Pentos. Then the war with the Greyjoys. You both saw me there. I was mad."
Robert snorted. "Mad? You were half a bloody nightmare. In that war, even our own men were afraid of you. No one could speak to you without wondering if you would gut them for raising their voice. Even your own men kept their distance. Only Ned had the guts to do anything about it, and he slapped some sense into you literally ."
Artos smirked at that. Remember the slap Ned had given him in Greyjoy Rebellion.
Barristan's mouth twitched as well. He remembered it too. It had been quite a scene, and in some ways a scandal.
"Aye," Barristan said. "I do believe Lord Stark had the greatest courage of any man there. You were like a beast half-loosed, my lord. One wrong word and it seemed you might start cutting throats."
Artos's expression turned darker.
"Aye. The ghosts were still in me then. I always thought someone was coming to put an arakh in my gut. I slept with daggers near me. Sometimes I cut Seraphine in my sleep with one, and she still tolerated me. Her love, and our son Aldric, helped bring me back. So did my brothers. All of them gave me enough love to pull me out of that darkness."
Both men nodded quietly.
Artos drank again and let the mead warm him. Then he set the cup down and looked at Robert.
"So, Robert. After hearing that, do you trust me when I say I know the Dothraki better than most men in this realm? And that you can trust me to handle this matter?"
Robert shifted in his chair, still uneasy.
"It is not that I do not trust you, Arty," he said. "But that girl is dangerous. As dangerous as Viserys, in her own way. She is married now, and she will have sons who lead those savage Dothraki. I see a war coming, and I want to avoid it. The Dothraki are dangerous men, and your story proves it."
Artos gave a small, cold smile.
"Aye. But it would not be a dragon her son. It would be a horse. But if we strike at her, they will come anyway. Pride means everything to them. You are speaking of killing their khaleesi. Men like that will die for pride and for the pride of their khal. The khal I fought was ready to kill his own bloodrider his most loyal men for the insult of stepping into our duel. That is how they are. They die for pride."
Robert's face hardened.
"What do you want me to do then? Nothing?" He spoke strongly
"No," Artos said. "You called me here for a reason. Then let me do this for you. Trust me a little, Robert. I know your hatred of dragons. But you were not the only man who fought in that war. The North was the largest and most important part of it. I wanted to cut down Rhaegar Targaryen myself. Remember that. But you cannot let your ghosts rule you. Learn that from me."
Robert listened, and for a long moment said nothing. Then he let out a rough breath and nodded.
"Very well. I trust you. But tell me what your plan is."
Artos smiled faintly.
"My plan is simple. I will send two representatives to Khal Drogo. One Dothraki man, and one of my own most trusted men, someone trusted enough to replace me in Bravos and in all my affairs and positions there. Waymar, you may have heard of him. They are already in Pentos, lucky for us. Let them handle it. We will have Viserys dealt with, and peace with the khal besides. Dothrakis will not break their word."
Robert was not fully satisfied, but he understood enough to leave it in Artos's hands.
"All right," he said at last. "If you say so."
Artos nodded once, then leaned forward.
"Now that that is done, I have matters of my own to discuss with you. Political ones. I know you dislike them, and I know you brought me here partly so you would not have to hear them. But they are important, and you need to hear them. More than that, I need your authority behind them."
Robert groaned already a headache coming "Go on then."
Artos gave a short nod, then looked toward Lancel.
"You can take a rest now, boy."
Robert waved him away too, and Lancel hurried out without complaint.
Barristan turned to leave as well, but Artos stopped him.
"Not you, old man. I know you hate politics, and I know you do not sit in the small council despite being Commander of the Kingsguard. But you need to hear this too."
Barristan paused, then remained. He couldn't refuse Lord Hand .
When Lancel had gone, Artos finally began.
"I want changes made in the small council," he said. "I have already ordered one."
Robert rubbed at his forehead. "Who?"
"Pycelle," Artos answered at once. "He is too old and too slow for my sake and for the sake of the Seven Kingdoms. I need someone fast enough to do actual work. I told him to send for a new maester from Oldtown. He resisted at first, muttering about traditions and such. I answered him with sweet words about burning Oldtown."
Robert groaned again. "Seven hells, Arty."
"That is not the worst of it."
"What else?"
Artos folded his hands.
"Stannis. He is absent, as you know."
Robert's expression darkened. "Aye. I sent him letters. He did not answer."
"Aye," said Artos. "And for Stannis to refuse duty means something is wrong. We need to know what it is. It must be important, or dangerous."
Both Robert and Barristan agreed at once. They knew Stannis well enough to understand that he did not vanish without cause.
"I have already told the Spider to find out," Artos continued. "We will see what comes of it. But if Stannis does not appear, we will need to speak of a replacement."
"Fine," Robert muttered. "You can handle that."
Artos nodded and went on.
"Renly, however, is fine. He is your brother, loyal, and he has a good head on his shoulders. The only okay person in that council."
Robert gave a small nod. Of all the council members, Renly was the only one he would have truly hated to replace.
Then Artos's voice hardened.
"Littlefinger is another matter. The Crown is in debt nine million dragons."
That made both Robert and Barristan stare and shocked.
"Nine million?" Robert repeated, grimacing.
"Aye. That is a level of bullshit I do not even know how to begin measuring," Artos said. "I suspect he is embezzling funds, though we must confirm it first. But even if he is not, the crown should not be in this much debt."
Robert drank deeply and set the cup down with a sigh.
"He was Jon Arryn's man."
"Aye," Artos said. "Likely from his wife's suggestion. He grew up in Riverrun, with the Tully girls. That does not make him innocent. But I will be subtle with this one. I need to find the money first."
Robert rubbed his brow. The headache was already beginning.
"You handle it," he said. "And find a way to pay the coin."
Artos gave a dry look. "Then you will need to spend less on tourneys and whores. Better yet, use different brothels. I will arrange that too. He is probably overcharging you there as well."
Robert snorted. "If you arrange it, then so be it."
Artos turned to the next matter.
"Now the most important one. Varys."
Robert's expression sharpened. "Him too? I do not like him, but he is too useful to replace."
Barristan spoke calmly. "Lord Varys is a talented man."
"Aye," Artos said. "But nothing is irreplaceable in politics, especially not if his loyalty cannot be counted on."
"That is a bold thing to say, Arty," Robert muttered.
"I know," Artos said. "But I have received word of something dangerous. Something that threatens Westeros, and something Varys did not mention."
Robert's face changed at once. "What?"
"A Blackfyre."
The words hit the room like a hammer.
Barristan straightened immediately. Of the three of them, he had the strongest reason to react. He had fought the last Blackfyre pretender, Maelys the Monstrous, and had killed him. This was no minor rumor to him.
"Are you sure, my lord?" Barristan asked, now fully alert.
"Aye," Artos said. "He is gathering men slowly, very slowly but It is not new trouble. I heard of it some weeks ago. My goodfather is a Sea Lord of Braavos, and I have had it confirmed through his network as well as the Iron Bank's. It is true. That Varys did not uncover it makes me doubt him. The man of his talent should have."
Robert's jaw tightened.
"If that is true, then we need to prepare. We need to ready the army and kill that traitor."
Artos lifted a hand.
"Wait. His location is still unknown. He is not strong enough to be a true danger for years yet. We do not need a war now. We need an assassination, not an open conflict. But first, we need to know where the Spider's loyalties lie. He is still useful, at least for the moment."
Artos leaned back and sighed.
"A war is coming, Robert. You know it, and I know it. So we need to settle the realm and the crown's affairs before it arrives. But more importantly, you need to stay safe. If you die, the realm will collapse. Your son Prince Joffrey is not strong enough to hold it together. There are too many snakes around you already. So Ser Barristan, it falls to you to protect His Grace."
Barristan inclined his head. "I will do my best to protect the king from any danger."
Artos nodded.
"I will handle the affairs of the realm, though they will be hard and controversial. They may offend the queen, the Lannisters, and more than a few others besides. But I will handle them if you give me your authority and your trust."
Robert looked at him for a long moment, then nodded.
"Do what you have to."
After that they goes into some conversations that will give headaches to some Lords in the realm.
...
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