Location: Rooftops of Midtown – 3:32 AM
Multiversal Event Level: "God help us all"
The wind stilled.
Homelander and Omni-Man hovered above New York, capes fluttering like banners in a war none of us asked for.
From the shadows of a nearby building, Butcher lit a cigarette. "Alright then, Daddy Dearests. Let's see who's king of the bloody capes."
Omni-Man moved first.
No speeches. No flexing.
Just a sonic boom and a fist.
Homelander tried to counter—laser eyes flaring—but Nolan dodged, grabbed him by the throat, and slammed him through four buildings and a Walgreens.
[System Alert – Casualties: Walgreens Loyalty Program]
Estimated Damage: $14.8 million
Emotional Damage: Immeasurable
I clutched my head. "Oh god, they're destroying the pharmacy! What if I need Advil later?!"
Bucky just shook his head. "Focus, kid."
"No one is focusing right now! A Superman-knockoff just went Mortal Kombat on another Superman-knockoff and now Butcher's—wait—"
I turned.
"OH MY GOD, HE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT."
Butcher sprinted full speed toward the fight.
No powers.
No backup.
Just one supe-hating lunatic with a crowbar, a suicide wish, and the worst sense of timing since Thor showed up at a Tony Stark roast.
"OI, WANKERS!" he roared, leaping off a ledge toward the swirling chaos.
[Narrative Alignment – Butcher: CHAOTIC PETTY]
Objective: Kick both their arses
Likelihood of Success: 0.002%
Side Note: That crowbar is vibranium?! Who gave him that!?
And then?
Mark—Invincible—landed beside me.
Looking pale. Confused.
He stared at me like I was a puzzle missing half its pieces.
"You're… not him," he muttered. "But you feel like him."
"Uh, hi?" I said. "Rowan Skywalker. Meme goblin. Force accident. You're bleeding."
"I know. I do that a lot."
He winced and looked back at the battle.
"My dad's going to kill that guy."
"I know."
"Should we stop him?"
"Do I look like I have insurance?"
Anastasia dropped from a nearby lamppost like a goth ninja-elf.
She glared at Mark.
Then at me.
Then at everything female in a 50-mile radius.
Especially one redheaded telepath who wasn't even here.
Yet.
She whispered aloud with a dead-serious pout:
"No more Sansas."
[Mental Subsystem – 'Anastasia']
Status: Waifu War DECLARED
Primary Target: Jean Grey
Objective: Ensure Rowan belongs to me.
Secondary Objective: Vaporize all redheads.
I groaned. "Please don't make this weirder than it already is."
"I'm not making it weird," she said. "I am weird. You should respect that."
"Why are you like this?"
"Because I was grown in a lab where no one hugged me, and now my hormones are hooked to a malfunctioning dating sim interface."
"…Fair."
The sky cracked again.
Omni-Man crashed into the pavement below—hard—but stood up with a satisfied grunt.
Homelander, bleeding, hovered with twitching fingers.
"You think you're better than me?" he hissed.
Omni-Man wiped blood from his chin. "I know I am."
Then he punched Homelander into orbit.
[Homelander: Temporarily Exited Stage Left]
Status: Still alive. Still salty.
Butcher limped out of the smoke, dragging a singed cape.
"Oi. Think I pulled a hamstring."
"You took a swing at Omni-Man," I said, stunned.
"I got close," he smirked.
"You bounced."
"But I bounced with style."
Then the Force whispered again.
"You are the fracture point, Rowan. The fulcrum between madness and balance."
"Oh, come on," I muttered. "Fulcrum? Seriously? Who writes this crap?"
"You are what comes after the Jedi. After the Sith. The Ashes of the Force."
"…Do I at least get a cool coat?"
"Only if you survive the next ten chapters."
Bucky looked at the sky.
"Kid. You still with us?"
I nodded. Barely.
Mark stood beside me, brow furrowed.
"You feel like someone I fought once," he said. "In another world. You died."
"I do that a lot, apparently."
"Sorry."
I offered a fist bump.
He took it.
Anastasia slid next to me and latched onto my arm.
She stared at Mark like he was a rival in a dating sim.
"Mine," she whispered.
Mark raised a brow. "I… didn't say anything."
"She knows," I muttered. "She always knows."