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[HARRENHALL, DINING ROOM]
[SER JAIME LANNISER struggles to feed himself one-handed. LADY BRIENNE OF TARTH sits next to him in a gown, and LORD ROOSE BOLTON sits across from them both.]
"It's odd how they found a gown for Brienne. And one that fits as well" Shireen said with a frown.
"Indeed" Renly frowned as well.
"You're a Stark bannerman, Lord Bolton. I am acting on Lady Stark's orders to return Jaime Lannister to King's Landing."
"When King Robb left Harrenhal, his mother was his prisoner. If she wasn't his mother, he'd have hanged her for treason."
Catelyn looked away. All that saved her was her son's love for her. Otherwise, her life was forfeit.
But then again, would she have even done this if it were not her son? Would she have done this if it were Ned?
"I should send you back to Robb Stark."
"You should. But instead, you're sitting here watching me fail at dinner. Why might that be?"
"Good question" Brandon the Elder commented with a frown. Why was Roose Bolton entertaining a prisoner of war like a guest?
Ned and Rickard were thinking along the same lines.
"Wars cost money. Many people would pay a great deal for you."
"We both know who would pay the most. Or make you pay the most if he found out you had captured me and sent me back up north for a summary execution."
"You're right. Perhaps the safest thing to do is to kill you both and burn your bodies."
"It would be if you honestly believed my father would never find out about it.'
"King Robb is keeping your father quite busy. He doesn't have time for anything else.
"He'll make time for you."
"As soon as you're well enough to travel, I will allow you to go to King's Landing as restitution for the mistakes my soldiers made. And you will swear to tell your father the truth, that I had nothing to do with your maiming."
"He's lost his faith in his King and is looking out for his gains," Brandon the Elder said with disgust. "It's always a fucking Bolton to stab us Stark's in the back."
"You can't blame him for it," Rickard said in resigned anger. "The Starks have lost the North to Ironborn, the mother of his King released a prized prisoner with practically no consequences, and no doubt news of Rickard Karstark's execution has reached Bolton's ears. Half the Northern Army gone, he is best to play it safe for himself and his house here. And this is safe."
Brandon nods to his father. It was probably the first time that he'd noticed how displeased his father was, that probably the peacekeeping he'd done was not out of his beliefs that Ned and Catelyn were not in the wrong but for some other reason that the man would not share.
[KING'S LANDING, TYWIN'S CHAMBERS]
"OLENNA: My grandson is the pride of Highgarden. The most desirable bachelor in all seven kingdoms. Your daughter-"
"Is rich, the most beautiful woman in all seven kingdoms and the mother of the king."
"Was" drawled Oberyn Martell. "She was the most beautiful woman in the realm. Age is a fickle thing, comes for women much faster than it comes for men."
"And let us not forget how vindictive and vile she can be as well" Olenna added with a smirk. "And how she overestimates herself and her worth."
"Those as well" Oberyn chuckled.
[TYWIN hands a glass to LADY OLENNA TYRELL.]
"Old. I'm something of an expert on the subject. Her change will be upon her before long. I'll spare you the details of what will happen then. You men may have a stomach for bloodshed and slaughter, but this is another matter entirely."
The women yet to have to go through these for a variety of reasons (age and death) all sighed. An eventuality they did not cherish.
"The years punish us as well, I promise you that. My stomach remains quite strong, however. The only thing that might turn it is details of your grandson's nocturnal activities. Do you deny them?"
"Oh, not at all. A sword swallower through and through."
"And you are... alright with this?" Joanna questioned.
Olenna shrugged.
"Boys will be boys. When the time comes Loras will perform his duties. That is how he was raised, to perform his duties. Other than that, he's free to do as he pleases."
Joanna shifted uncomfortably. She was not of the belief that this was... normal.
"And a boy with his affliction should be grateful for the opportunity to marry the most beautiful woman in the kingdoms and remove the stain from his name."
"The former most beautiful. I can see where Cersei gets her sense of self-importance" Oberyn chuckles.
"Did you grow up with boy cousins, Lord Tywin? Sons of your father's bannermen, squires, stable boys?"
"Of course,"
"And you never-"
"No."
"Not once? Not in any way?"
"Never."
"Not all boys have feelings like that, Lady Olenna" Stannis stated monotonously.
"Some do" Oberyn shrugged. He was no stranger to a boy or man in his bed.
"Not all boys do" Stannis repeated with a clenched jaw. He did not like repeating himself.
"Some do," Renly said forcefully.
Stannis said nothing, only gritting his teeth.
"I congratulate you upon your restraint. But it's a natural thing, two boys having a go at each other beneath the sheets."
"Perhaps Highgarden has a high tolerance for unnatural behaviour."
"I wouldn't say that. True, we don't tie ourselves in knots over a discreet bit of buggery, but brothers and sisters- where I come from, that stain would be very difficult to wash out."
"Unless you are a Targaryen" Rhaegar added.
Nobody responded to his correction. Not even Daenerys.
"I will not breathe further life into a malicious lie by discussing it."
"Too late for that. It's common knowledge now" cackled Yara, who was quite enjoying seeing this old prideful lion get prickled by thorns.
[TYWIN stands, offended. He pours himself more wine.]
"Lie or not, you must admit many people find it quite convincing. Convincing enough to put swords in their hands and send them off to kill Lannisters and Tyrells thanks to our new affiliation."
"I don't care what people believe. And neither do you."
[OLENNA refuses TYWIN's offer for more wine.]
"As an authority on myself, I must disagree."
"Now, if the rumours about my children were true, then Joffrey is no king at all and House Tyrell is throwing its prized flower into the dirt."
"Bastard or not, he has his uses" Olenna shrugged.
"And he can always be removed later on" Margaery whispered, making her grandmother smirk.
"And if Cersei is too old to give Loras children, we're throwing another prized flower into the dirt. It is a chance we simply cannot take."
"The uncertainty makes you uncomfortable. All right. I'll remove it for you."
[TYWIN sits back down at his desk.]
"If you refuse to marry Loras to Cersei, I will name him to the Kingsguard. I'm sure you're familiar with the Kingsguard vows. He will never marry. He will never have children."
"I was not aware the Hand had the power to name just anyone in the Kingsguard like that," Olenna said coldly.
"He... does not" Jaime answered.
The appointment of the Kingsguard had always been that of voluntary taking of vows. Since the time of Aegon to Robert, any man named in the Kingsguard had done so by putting their names forward, like how Ser Criston Cole was named in the Kingsguard from a group of other voluntary candidates. Even Jaime had volunteered to be in it.
"Typical of Lannisters, thinking they can shirk traditions and laws for their whims and wishes" Olenna scoffed. She was rightly angered. Nobody messed with her family like that, even the less intelligent ones.
"The Tyrell name will fade. And Highgarden will go to the children of Joffrey and Margaery."
"I have two other brothers, both older than Loras" Margaerys pointed out with a scowling frown. "Does he intend to get them out of the way? Is that his angle?"
"He is speaking rubbish" Olenna said calmly, but even her calm tone had become clipped. "He's throwing threats."
Joanna could only sigh. She had no room to talk, being dead and all. But Tywin was smarter than this, the ruthlessness was there but the thought was not.
"You seem displeased," Tyrion said to his mother.
"That's because I am displeased" Joanna said blankly, "your father is throwing his equivalent of a tantrum and it is not becoming of a man of his stature" she explained with a scowl. "I can understand now why our children have become as out of hand as they have."
"Mother-"
"I am not blaming you, son. I am blaming your fool of a father who thinks too mightily of himself for the damage he has done to all of you. You all needed a mother or a mother figure in your lives because this man knows nothing of setting examples for his children" she cut her Imp of a son off sharply.
Tywin was making enemies out of the family that saved his ass and the asses of his blood. If they choose to pull out now, House Lannister was as good as gone.