(Viewpoint: Ela)
The door closes behind me.
Again.
The sound is soft. Almost delicate.
This thing immediately surrounded me, wrapping me in its long white sheet. Always the same synchronized movements, it touched me delicately.
I glance down slightly at her hands. Pale. Smooth. Perfect and long.
Not a hesitation. Not a tremor.
I slipped her fingers away from me and walked away.
My footsteps echoed faintly against the ground.
It is my dear.
I hate his embrace more and more.
Sometimes… I feel like I'm losing my memories.
I turn my head slightly towards her.
She kept her gaze fixed on the ceiling, her smooth face reflecting the dim light of the room. No emotion.
I look away.
The air is cold.
I run a hand along my arm. My fingers are trembling slightly, they are all tense.
But in my head… The words of that thing are still swirling around.
"You forgot."
I clench my jaw.
Non.
I haven't forgotten anything.
I remember everything, the pit. The noise. The filth. The screams.
I remember Roum.
So why…
Does it exist?
Why do I feel like I'm losing something without even knowing what?
This fatigue. This silent sadness. This feeling of being trapped inside one's own body.
I slowly lower my eyes to my white bed.
Then my legs finally give way gently.
I sit on the edge of the bed.
My hands slowly cover my face.
I want to get out of here… go back "home"
I keep my hands against my face for a few more seconds, my elbows resting on my knees. My breath remains trapped somewhere in my throat.
Behind me…
There was no noise, but I felt a heavy presence behind me; it's still there.
This thing.
I slowly raise my head.
She is frozen.
Standing above me. Her long white garments fell to the floor on the bed like a skin too large for her. Her arms hung motionless at her sides. Her mask faintly reflected my face.
And her nonexistent eyes... are nevertheless fixed upon me.
I immediately look away.
My chest tightens again.
– …stop looking at me…
My voice is low. Tired.
She gently tilts her head.
- For what ?
I close my eyes for a second and force myself to ignore it.
For what…?
I don't even know anymore.
Because she makes me uncomfortable. Because she makes me feel like she's being watched from inside my head. Because every time she speaks…
I suddenly get out of bed.
– Because I want to be alone, move away, your fabric is touching me.
Her long sheets slipped gently as she took a step forward, covering me even more.
– You're already alone, N.
I freeze.
That name again.
My fingers immediately tensed up.
– That's not my name.
– I'm on your side, N.
Her voice remains calm. Almost soft.
Like someone talking to a lost child.
I hate it.
I step back slightly until I reach the wall.
– Stop saying that.
Yet she continues.
– You are suffering because you are still clinging to incoherent memories.
I cover my ears.
– nooooooo…
She is approaching slowly.
Her movements are fluid. As if her feet weren't even touching the ground.
- I'm sorry
– The outside world has damaged you.
– The pit hurt you.
– I'm sorry for abandoning you.
My answer comes out faster this time.
Drier.
I clench my jaw.
– You promised me, why didn't you ever come back?
– you are mean, evil and useless
– I don't need you anymore
The words fall immediately.
Without hesitation.
I kept them to spit them out.
The white mask tilts its head slightly.
– I won't do it again, you're right, absolutely right.
A pain shoots through my chest.
– …stop…
She keeps moving forward, pinning me against the wall.
– It's my fault.
– how could I have.
– I regret it.
My breathing becomes heavier.
I see the pit again, my screams and the blood.
You're the one who abandoned me.
…right?
– You're lying.
My voice trembles involuntarily.
She pulls me back into her arms.
I can see the details of his white mask. The smooth lines. Perfect.
– N ?
I can't answer.
My eyes are getting heavy.
His hand slowly rises.
Long, pale fingers.
It almost brushes against my cheek without actually touching me.
– Are you tired?
My body tenses up immediately.
– Don't touch me.
She gently removes her hand.
My eyes tremble slightly as if they are resisting my fatigue.
– I am with you.
she murmured
– STOP!
My voice finally explodes in the white room.
Silence falls again immediately afterwards.
Brutal.
My eyes are burning.
And she…
He didn't move anymore.
Its long white fabrics spread around me, soothing me in a way; I felt lighter and weaker.