I unwrapped another candy.
Lemon.
I leaned back against the counter.
Chewed slowly.
The kitchen clock ticked from downstairs.
Tk. Tk. Tk.
I should sleep.
I should brush my teeth.
I should stop eating candy alone in the dark.
"Haha…"
I didn't move.
The fridge hummed.
The streetlight outside cast a square through the window onto the ceiling.
I watched it.
CLICK.
I straightened.
The front door.
Voices in the entryway. Shoes coming off.
"—on the way back, honestly, I thought we'd be home by eight—"
"You always think we'll be home by eight."
"And one day I'll be right."
Mom's laugh. Tired. Warm.
???
Set the candy down.
Wiped my mouth with the back of my wrist.
Walked downstairs.
"Hikaru?"
She came around the corner.
A plastic bag in one hand. Coat over her other arm.
She paused.
Looked at me.
I looked at her.
"...You're still up."
"Yeah."
"Did you eat?"
"Yeah. The one in the fridge."
"...Oh."
She set the bag down on the counter.
"We brought katsu. From that place near the office. We thought maybe—"
"—I'd be hungry."
Her eyes flicked up.
"...Yeah."
"I can still eat."
"Mm."
She started unpacking the bag slowly.
"Mei, where do you want me to put—oh."
Dad came in.
"...You're up."
"Yeah."
A pause.
"...How's the arm?"
"Fine."
"Mei said you cut it."
"Yeah. It's healing. Kurosaki-sensei did a good job."
"...Mm." He nodded.
Set his bag down by the doorframe.
Pulled his tie off.
Mom got out a plate.
Started arranging the katsu.
Sauce on the side. Cabbage in a small mound.
Like she had time. Like there was no rush.
I watched her hands.
She's stretching it out.
She doesn't want it to end.
…
I sat down at the table.
Slowly.
Dad sat across from me.
Mom brought the plate over.
Set it in front of me.
"Eat."
"Thank you."
She paused. Hand still on the plate.
Didn't move for a second.
I picked up the chopsticks.
Took a bite.
It was warm.
Still warm.
How long had they been carrying this around hoping I'd be up.
"Good?" Mom asked.
"Mm."
She sat down too.
Across from me.
Next to Dad.
Both of them.
Watching.
Not eating.
Just watching me eat.
I took another bite.
Slower.
Tk. Tk.
"...You don't have to watch me."
"Hm?" Mom blinked.
"It's weird."
"Ah." She laughed a little. "Sorry, sorry."
She looked at Dad.
He looked back.
Something passed between them.
…
"...Hikaru."
"Yeah?"
"How was school this week?"
The brat would've grunted.
Or said 'none of your business'
Or thrown the chopsticks.
I imitated him many times. I already got used to it.
But.
"...Fine."
She nodded.
Tk. Tk.
"...Made any friends?"
I looked up.
She was looking at me.
Carefully.
"...Yeah."
"Yeah?"
"A few."
Her eyes got brighter.
She tried to hide it.
She couldn't quite.
"Who?" Dad asked.
Quiet voice.
"The neighbor's kid. And his friends."
"The neighbor."
"Yeah."
"Hm. That's good." Mom said. "That's good, that's…"
She trailed off.
Looked at Dad.
He nodded slowly.
Mom got up suddenly.
"Tea. I'll make tea."
She went to the kettle.
Her back was to us.
I kept eating.
Dad watched me.
I felt his eyes.
I didn't look up.
"...Hikaru."
"Mm?"
"You've changed."
I stopped chewing.
Looked up slowly.
He wasn't angry.
He wasn't suspicious.
He was just… looking.
"...Have I?"
"Yeah."
A pause.
"It's good."
"...Thanks."
He nodded.
Looked down at his hands.
Mom turned around with the kettle.
"Tea's almost ready."
"…"
Her eyes were wet. Just a little.
She wiped them quickly with her sleeve.
Turned back to the kettle.
I stared at my plate.
The tea came in three cups.
She set them on the table.
Sat back down.
We drank.
Quietly.
Tk. Tk.
Mom held her cup with both hands.
Dad held his with one.
I held mine.
…
"...I'm gonna head up."
"Mm." Mom nodded. "Goodnight, Hikaru."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight." Dad said.
I stood.
Took my plate to the sink.
Started rinsing it.
"You don't have to—"
"It's fine."
I rinsed it. Set it on the rack.
Turned the tap off.
Walked to the doorway.
Stopped.
Didn't look back.
"...Welcome home."
…
Silence.
Then—
"...Welcome home, Hikaru."
I went upstairs.
***
I closed the door behind me.
Quietly.
Stood there.
My back against it.
Tk. Tk. Tk.
The clock from downstairs.
So quiet. I could still hear it.
Their son was a brat.
Hit them. Yelled at them. Made dinner a battlefield.
For years.
His whole life, probably.
And they kept loving him anyway.
Kept calling him. Kept apologizing for being at the office.
They loved that brat.
Their boy.
And then he—
Died?
Disappeared?
I don't even know what happened to him.
Whatever it was. He's gone.
And I'm wearing his face.
…
Mom cried because I made friends.
Dad said I'd changed.
It's good, he said.
It's good…
It's their son they love.
The boy they raised.
The brat.
But the boy at the table tonight was me.
A guy who died and woke up in their kid's body.
…
I should be happy.
That's the thing.
A mom who cries because I made friends.
A dad who notices and says 'it's good'
That's the kind of family I'd have killed for in my old life.
Literally.
…
I got into bed.
Pulled the blanket over my head.
The kitchen clock kept ticking downstairs.
Tk. Tk. Tk.
I closed my eyes.
…
Tk. Tk. Tk.
"...I'm sorry."
I didn't know who I was saying it to.
Their son.
Or them.
Or maybe just to no one.
I fell asleep eventually.
***
In the morning, the bag of lemon candy was gone from my room.
Someone had moved it to the bowl by the door.
I stared at it for a long time.
Then I put my shoes on.
And opened the door.
Ichigo was at the wall.
"Morning."
"Morning, Ichigo-san."
He looked at me.
"...You good?"
"Yeah."
"Mm."
Started walking.
I followed.
***
The street was quiet. Sakura petals on the path. A bicycle passed somewhere ahead.
The candy was still on my tongue.
"You're slow today."
"Sorry."
"Mm."
We walked.
***
We turned onto the main road. A truck pulling away from the bakery. A big guy lifting the last crate.
"Is he Chad?"
"Mm."
The truck pulled away. Chad turned. Saw us.
I scratched the back of my head. "Morning, Sado-san."
He nodded once to both of us.
Fell in beside us.
***
Three of us walking. Chad's footsteps were quiet for a guy that big.
A kid on a bike came around the corner too fast. I stepped aside automatically—
Chad's arm was already there. Between me and the bike.
The bike passed. His arm dropped.
He kept walking like nothing happened.
I blinked.
"...Thanks."
"Mm."
He didn't look at me.
Ichigo glanced over. Said nothing.
…
A wall walking. A nice wall.
I smiled.
***
School gate.
"OOOOIIIII!! THREE OF YOU NOW?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??"
Chad split off toward his shoe locker. Didn't say bye. Just walked.
I watched him go.
***
School was school.
I sat. I wrote things down. The teacher said things. I copied them.
Inoue came over at lunch with her bento. Tatsuki yanked her away before I could answer.
Keigo cried about something.
Mizuiro was on his phone again.
The bell rang five times.
Ichigo glanced back at me from his desk twice.
Didn't say anything.
***
End of the day.
Walking home.
Ichigo was quiet.
Quieter than usual.
"Ichigo-san."
"Hm."
"Wanna get something."
"Like what."
"I don't know. Anything."
He glanced at me.
"...Sure."
We turned toward the shopping district instead of home.
***
Got taiyaki from the same stand as before.
Found a bench by the river.
Sat down.
He took a bite. Looked at the water.
I waited.
"...Water's loud today."
…
I didn't move.
…ah.
I looked at my taiyaki.
…
"...Yeah."
…
He glanced at me.
"Yeah?"
…
"...I can't hear it."
"…?"
"Not like you. Not — louder."
He turned slightly.
"...Hikaru."
"…"
"What."
I kept looking at my taiyaki.
…
"...I can see them."
…
He stopped.
Mid-bite.
Lowered the taiyaki.
Slow.
Turned.
His whole body. Not just his head.
"...What."
"…"
"...Hikaru. 'What.'"
…
"...The dead."
"…"
He didn't say anything.
For a long second.
His mouth opened a little. Closed. Opened again.
"You—"
"Yeah."
"...You can see 'them.'"
"Yeah."
…
He looked at the water.
…
"...Since when."
"A week."
"A 'week.'"
"Yeah."
"…"
"…"
"Why didn't you—"
He stopped.
Started again.
"Why didn't you 'say.'"
…
I bit into the taiyaki.
Didn't taste it.
"...I don't know."
"You don't know."
"…"
"Hikaru."
"…"
"...Hikaru."
"...I thought I shouldn't say it."
…
He didn't say anything.
For a long time.
I felt him not say anything.
Felt him just — stop.
…
The water did its thing.
A duck somewhere.
Then—
"...Yeah."
…
I looked up.
He wasn't looking at me. He was looking at the water again.
His shoulders had dropped.
"...Yeah?"
"...I never said either."
"…"
"To anyone."
"…"
"Since I was a kid."
…
Something in my chest moved sideways.
I knew that.
I knew that already.
…
But hearing him say it.
…
…
"Mm."
…
…
We sat there.
A long time.
…
The taiyaki was cold now.
…
"...you good?"
"..."
"yeah."
"...tch."
i smiled.