"By the way, Captain — do you think a wedding should be something simple and memorable, or something grand?" Tony suddenly asked.
The question came so unexpectedly that both Fury and Steve looked at him. Steve blinked.
"Where did that come from?"
Tony shrugged, leaning back. "I'm asking a serious question."
Fury narrowed his eye. "Since when do you ask serious questions about weddings?"
"Since I found out Pepper is pregnant."
"So? Simple or grand?"
Steve thought for a moment. "Honestly, it depends on the people involved. If two people genuinely care about each other, the size doesn't matter." He smiled slightly.
"My parents didn't have much, but from everything I heard they were happy."
"That sounds like the Captain America answer," Tony replied.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you somehow turned a wedding discussion into life advice."
Steve looked completely unapologetic.
Fury sighed. "Personally, I'd keep it small. Less security issues."
Tony stared at him. "Fury, the fact that your first concern is security is probably why you're single."
Steve immediately coughed to hide a laugh.
"I'm being practical," Fury said.
"You're always practical. That's not a compliment."
After a moment Steve looked at Tony. "Why are you asking anyway?"
Tony was quiet for a second. "I was thinking about Pepper."
Neither man was surprised. After everything that had happened recently, nearly losing her had clearly affected him.
"I think she'd be happy either way," Steve said.
Tony nodded slowly. Then a smirk appeared. "Although if I go grand, I can make the entire world jealous."
"There it is," Fury muttered.
"There it is," Steve agreed.
The conversation was still ongoing when Luke suddenly appeared behind Tony. Both Steve and Fury saw him through the holographic call. Tony noticed their expressions change and turned around.
"Well, well. What brought you here, Luke?"
Luke didn't bother with small talk. "What do you think I should go with for my wedding? Grand or memorable?"
Steve and Fury exchanged confused glances. A few minutes ago Tony had randomly started asking about weddings. Now Luke had appeared asking exactly the same thing.
Luke noticed their expressions. "Why are you two making those faces? I just asked a question."
Before Steve could answer, Tony pointed toward both men. "Don't listen to these two. Their suggestions are completely useless." He took a casual sip of coffee.
"You're asking wedding advice from two of the biggest bachelors on Earth. This guy spent seventy years frozen in ice."
He pointed toward Fury.
"This guy spent his entire life married to classified documents."
Fury's expression darkened. Steve wasn't particularly amused either.
"Ask the women," Tony said, turning back to Luke.
Fury folded his arms. "That's surprisingly reasonable."
"Of course it's reasonable. The wedding is for them too. You've got nine women who are almost certainly already arguing about venues, order of ceremonies, and who goes first. They've put more thought into this than any of us ever could."
Luke considered that. The women had already started discussing it — some debating order, others researching venues. Nine brides, one groom. It was going to be one hell of a ceremony.
"Yeah, asking them is the better option."
Steve shook his head. "I'm still surprised we're discussing wedding planning in the middle of a global Skrull crisis."
Tony looked at him. "Captain, one of us is getting married." He pointed toward Fury. "One of us is cleaning up the consequences of his own bad decisions." Then at himself.
"And one of us is doing both."
Fury closed his eye. He had a feeling Tony was going to keep bringing that up for years.
"So how is the Skrull extermination going?" Luke asked.
"Most of the infiltrators inside SHIELD have been eliminated." Fury pulled up several reports.
"The problem now is the rest of the world. Finding them inside governments, intelligence agencies, and militaries is taking time. We can't just walk into every country and start shooting people because we suspect they're Skrulls."
He rubbed his forehead.
"Most governments don't even know the full extent of the infiltration yet. And the moment they find out, panic becomes another problem."
Tony leaned back. "On the bright side, my suits have already caught thousands of them."
"You sound proud of that," Steve said.
"I am proud of that. Do you know how difficult it is to build a global anti-alien hunting network in less than a week?" Steve decided not to answer — knowing Tony, he would spend the next twenty minutes explaining exactly how difficult it was.
Tony looked toward Luke. "More importantly — am I getting an invitation to this wedding?"
"Just consider this your invitation," Luke said.
Tony looked amused. "That seems very efficient."
"It is. You, Steve, Fury, and everyone else I know are coming. If any of you don't show up, I'll drag you there myself."
Tony immediately started laughing. Steve wasn't entirely sure Luke was joking. Fury knew he wasn't — Luke possessed enough power to teleport people across galaxies, and being dragged to a wedding was completely within his capabilities.
"Good to know I no longer have a choice," Steve said.
"You never had one."
"Honestly, I was coming anyway," Tony said. "You're getting married to nine women. There is absolutely no way I'm missing that." He shook his head.
"Years from now people are going to ask me where I was during major historical events. The Battle of New York. The zombie universe."
He pointed toward Luke.
"And whatever the hell this wedding becomes."
Luke sighed. "You're making it sound like a disaster."
"I'm making it sound memorable."
Before Luke could respond, Fury stood up. "I'm leaving."
Steve immediately nodded. "Same." For the last ten minutes the conversation had drifted from a global Skrull crisis to wedding planning.
Neither of them understood how it happened. More importantly, neither of them wanted to.
As the call disconnected, Fury let out a long breath. Steve looked equally exhausted.
"Was it just me," Steve asked, "or was that physically painful?"
Fury stared at the disconnected screen. "Definitely not just you."
*****
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