[A different ass... bwahaha]
[How many have you touched? And what's different about my ass?]
There I was, the great and powerful Rat Kid, waking up slowly.
Trying to orient myself in this cruel and cold world, registering key points of my memory through the noble sense of touch, when I am cruelly and unjustly attacked.
Boing boing
[The elasticity is the same... But the feeling... did it grow? Good job, me.]
[Let go.]
[Ow, tatatata!]
[Still not letting go?]
[The Rat Kid no longer needs that arm.]
[Then let's take it off.]
[He needs it, the Rat Kid needs it.]
Carolain's nails hurt...
Anyway, why are you sleeping on me if you aren't going to pay me back with a sweet awakening, hussy? What did you think? That we'd play cards? You sleep with me and I violate you, that's how it works. I have no proof, but no doubts either.
Boing boing
[A familiar ass...]
[Are you saying I don't grow?]
On the opposite side, the Rat Kid's little sister complains for some reason.
But she obediently lets herself be touched.
Boing boing
Learn something, hussy.
[Hum?]
[Nothing... How did the Rat Kid get here?]
The Rat Kid feels like he forgot something. As if everyone is an idiot except the Rat Kid.
[After dinner, you dropped like a rock. Apparently, the fatigue will linger for a while.]
Carolain explains while pointing to the Rat Kid's little sister, who hides her face against my chest... It feels wet on that side.
[Don't cry...]
[Of course not, as expected of the Rat Kid's little sister.]
[Wuuuuu... Sniff...]
Reluctantly, I let go of her ass and rub her head... It's not that soft...
[You're thinking about something stupid, aren't you?]
Don't read my mind, witch.
""GRII""
Before I can complain, the goblins' growls come from my very chest, where two small heads peek out shyly from under the covers.
That explains why I felt a dead weight on my lower half and stomach...
Before I can say anything to them, the two also hide their heads against my stomach, and it starts getting wet too.
[... Sorry?] — The Rat Kid doesn't know why, but he ended up apologizing. Now I can't sleep? What am I supposed to do if they shut down my server?
[... Hmph, you better be.]
Carolain also buries her head in my chest along with the others.
It's also wet on that side...
I guess I'll pet her too...
Boing boing
[Ow tatata, fine, fine...!]
I guess I'll pet her head... But it's not that soft.
......…..
[Hussies, it's time for my sponge bath. GYAAAAAAAAA!]
CRACK BANG
[[[…]]]
After an hour in bed, the Rat Kid was forced to return to the horrible, cold world far away from the "boing."
And the result was that the hussies jumped on the Rat Kid to suffocate him before even letting him finish speaking.
Now the Rat Kid's head hurts and he can't breathe because these hussies weigh like hell...
No, wait, it's a multiple "boing" opportunity...
... My hand can't reach because there are too many on top of me at the same time...
... Almost... Almost there... Just a little... More...
[[[Sniff...]]]
The Rat Kid's chest is getting wet again... Fine... Head then... Even though it's not that soft...
The Rat Kid will remember this with deep resentment.
...........
[The Rat Kid knows that the Rat Kid is irresistible, but the Rat Kid firmly believes you should stop almost killing the Rat Kid every time he wakes up.]
[[[[[[AND WHOSE DAMN FAULT IS THAT?]]]]]]
[... YEAH? WELL... I don't give a fuck.]
Are these bitches really trying to blame me for sleeping?
[Chomp, chomp... it's normal for them to be anxious for a while due to your tendency to fall into a coma without warning, chomp, chomp. They'll get over it after a bit. If you're a man, endure it obediently until then.]
The receptionist-vixen sentences me for some reason while eating breakfast. Better yet...
[Are you going to live here or something?]
[Obviously.]
[What does the Rat Kid get out of it?]
[Ummm] — The receptionist-vixen brings a finger to her chin and puts on a thoughtful face for a few seconds.
After seeming to get an idea, she takes her breasts in both hands and lifts them a bit, leaning toward me over the table.
[This is what the Rat Kid was talking about.] — I stretch my hand out obediently. This vixen turns out not to be so bad. — [Ow TATATA, it hurts, the Rat Kid suffers!] — I complain when the back of my hand is caught halfway by Girl-Mom's killer pinch.
[What the hell?] — I complain, reluctantly pulling my hand back. What's with that pinch? It hurt more than a goblin stab, damn it.
[What are you going to do to my mom?]
[I already told you she's not your mom, you were bought off the dark web.]
[Whether she is or not, you can't.]
[Guck...] — Unable to do anything against my main food source, I look at the vixen to do something about it. But she just shrugs with a malicious smile.
[The merchandise is served; if the customer doesn't pick it up, it has nothing to do with me.]
Damn bitch, this is a scam.
[Whatever. That reminds me: Who among you bathed and dressed the Rat Kid while he was unconscious? Did you like what you saw? Do you want to see it in its digi-evolved phase?]
[[[NO.]]]
TSK…
[Don't worry, a chubby little chick is still a little chick.]
[Until the sun comes up and the rooster crows, hussy. Why don't you grab the sweet potato and check for yourself?]
[In your dreams.]
[In yours.]
[Don't flirt at the table.]
[I- I'm not flirting.]
Finally, the Rat Kid understands the importance of peaceful human relations.
And it only took an apocalypse... A fairly reasonable price for the happiness of the great me.
[The aunt was the one who did those things.] — Louise.
[Tsk.]
The Rat Kid feels brutally scammed.
............…
In the house's garden.
Woof
Ssss
Clack, clack
Finally, after much back and forth, the Rat Kid had time to pay attention to his beloved pets.
And well... They are big... Much bigger than when I left.
What the hell? The smallest is Rachel and she is definitely larger than a compact car. And Mya... can the roof of the house hold that weight? Better yet, do you even fit up there? Furthermore, Zeus... Where has this dumbass been sleeping? Does he fit through the door? The garage?
[Such strong love... What a sinful Rat Kid I am...]
[I helped.]
[As expected of the Rat Kid's little sister.]
[Guehehe.]
It was while my gigantic pets took over the Rat Kid, and I petted the Rat Kid's little sister.
[[Ahhh]]
The hussies sigh for some reason behind my back.
[Is there nothing important you want to say regarding these three monsters?]
[[[….]]]
The girls look at me with a mix of exasperation and indignation.
Is it Christmas? An early present?
[Now that you mention it, you're right. The Rat Kid has something of vital importance to do right now.]
The Rat Kid stands up and steps back a bit to look his massive pets head-on.
Of course, the Rat Kid's gaze is severe.
[You smell like hell. Bath time.]
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
TAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKATAKA
............
[DON'T RUN FROM THE RAT KID. Alice, Kora, Ruby, bring the hose and the soap.]
[[[YES!]]]
No belonging of the Rat Kid will go around smelling like a pubescent otaku.
The Rat Kid has a reputation to uphold. It's bath time...
[[[….]]]
The hussies kept shooting completely exasperated looks, but I ignored them.
The Rat Kid is far too busy right now.
......….
Ssss
Clack, clack.....
…
My pets are resentful after the intensive bath, but I accept no complaints here.
""Griii""
[There, there, it's for your own good.]
The girls spoil them too much. It seems the Rat Kid has to teach them the importance of a firm hand every now and then.
[Well, now explain to me: Where the hell are they sleeping?]
Since the bath and the smell are resolved, I get to the main topic.
Clack, clack
Ssss
At my question, Mya and Rachel suddenly began to shrink visually.
[What the fuck?] — I blurt out instinctively when the two suddenly acquired a compressed form that can only be described as chibi mode.
[[[AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!]]]
The Rat Kid's little sisters immediately jump on them with enthusiasm and carry them in their arms, which is easy considering Rachel is now roughly the size of a medium dog and Mya recovered her original pet snake size... Although she's rounder for some reason.
[... This works.] — The Rat Kid concludes, satisfied.
Then, I look at Zeus expecting the same trick, but he just shakes his massive head vigorously, flattening his ears.
[How the fuck can you not do it? Are you defective or something?]
I complain, but Zeus insists that he truly cannot shrink.
[Tsk, you must not have tried hard enough. Come on, concentrate, push, push.]
Woof Wooooo
Thus began Operation: Chibi Zeus.
...................
DIARY ENTRY NO.: 1005
SCIENTIFIC NAME: Lupus umbra primus
REGIONAL ALIASES:
Germanic Folklore: The King of the Black Forest
Celtic Mythology: The Hound of Cernunnos
NICKNAME (ASTRAD): The Forest's Delete Button
📊 THREAT EVALUATION
CLASSIFICATION: ELEMENTALIS / TERRITORIALIS
Its nature is that of an elemental incarnation, the consciousness of the planet's oldest and most pristine forests made of shadow and wood. Its behavior is that of a territorial guardian, but its territory is not a simple grove; it is the very concept of the "deep forest," and its defense is absolute and silent.
DANGER LEVEL: RED (5 stars)
It is one of the most lethal threats precisely because it lacks traditional combat. You cannot fight something that does not attack you physically. Its danger is conceptual: it possesses the authority to "revoke" your existence within its domain. But at the same time, it cares about nothing outside its domain. In fact, it doesn't even care if you are in its domain, as long as you follow the rules. But make no mistake, this thing isn't black level, simply because the end of the world goes directly against its own existence.
AGGRESSION LEVEL: REACTIVE
It ignores the outside world and only reacts to the desecration of its sanctuary. Felling an ancient tree, starting a fire, or unjustified violence within its borders are the provocations that trigger its silent sentence. It doesn't get angry; it simply deletes you.
🧬 COMBAT PROFILE (TL;DR)
TYPE: Spectral / Beast
AFFINITY: Shadow (Primary) / Earth (Forest) / Conceptual (Oblivion)
🎯 MAIN WEAKNESSES (Theoretical): The total destruction of its forest (an apocalyptic-level act in itself).
📌 KEY STRENGTHS: Existential Nullification (ability to erase beings from local reality), Absolute control over the flora and darkness of its forest, Perfect and undetectable stealth, Immunity to conventional attacks.
📚 ORIGINS AND MYTHOLOGY:
The Celts and other pagan cultures worshipped nature deities like Cernunnos, usually depicted with stag antlers, as guardians of wildlife. Humanity felt this immense pressure in the ancient woods and tried to give it a friendly face. My theory is that Cernunnos and the Lupus umbra are the same entity: the pure will of the forest. When the forest is in balance, humans romanticize its presence as a life-giving god. But when that will decides you are a threat, it does not take the form of peaceful prey; it assumes its oldest, most predatory, and lethal avatar. They worshipped the deer because they didn't want to admit that the forest was, in reality, a wolf.
Inuit Folklore (The Amarok): Eskimo legends speak of the Amarok, a wolf the size of a house that devours those who hunt alone and disrespect the balance of the ice. The Inuit didn't invent a monster to scare children; they documented Earth's defense mechanism.
Quantum Physics (Network Theory): A crazy theory suggests that the forest it inhabits is an unstable reality "bubble," and the Wolf is nothing more than the "program" that deletes data that doesn't belong in that system. It doesn't kill you, it just uninstalls you.
📝 DETAILED ANALYSIS
PHYSICAL AND SENSORY DESCRIPTION:
The few existing accounts are confusing, as observing it directly is almost impossible. It is described as a colossal wolf, larger than an elephant, but whose form is not solid. Its body seems to be woven from deep shadows, decaying wood, dead leaves, and fragments of trapped moonlight. It leaves no tracks. It makes no sound. Its only sign of presence is the absolute, unnatural silence that falls over the forest before someone disappears.
BEHAVIOR AND ECOLOGY:
It does not hunt, it does not eat, it does not sleep. It is the vigilant consciousness of a forest. It does not patrol its territory; it IS its territory. Its method of "attack" is nullification. An intruder who has committed an offense will simply cease to exist. To their companions, it will seem as if they walked behind a tree and never came back out. Their memory and any evidence of their passing slowly fade from reality.
☣️ PROTOCOLS
RECOMMENDED ENCOUNTER PROTOCOL (Theoretical):
DO: Don't stress out the fucking forest.
DON'T: If you decided to ignore the warning, try hard not to do something stupid... again. No hunting for sport, no excessively large campfires, and above all, no deforesting the woods.
FIELD REPORT (Last diary entry of a logging crew in the Black Forest, Germany, 1888):
"...it's been three days since we lost Heinrich. He tried to walk around the old oak we were going to chop down to examine it, never finished the detour. His tracks stop dead. The strangest thing isn't that he disappeared. It's that... it's getting harder and harder to remember his face..."
🎤 ASTRAD'S NOTES (THE ONLY SHIT THAT MATTERS):
This is the one that breaks the scale. The Kraken sinks you, the Thunderbird electrocutes you, the Phoenix incinerates you. They are all honest in their brutality. They give you a spectacular death. But this bastard... this one is a fucking artist of erasure. It's the most personal and silent end of the world that exists.
It doesn't kill you. It edits you out of fucking existence. It's nature's 'undo' command. One day you're there, complaining about rations, and the next your buddies only find your backpack and have a vague feeling they forgot something important. It's the ultimate terror: a death so insignificant it doesn't even leave a memory.
Forget about fighting it. It's like trying to punch your own shadow. This wolf is the justification for the fear of being alone in the woods. Because if it finds you, you won't just be alone. It's that you will never have existed.