"My, Captain Drake. What's the matter? You seem terribly restless."
"Ah... Ann, Mary. It's just... this whole Halloween nonsense never fails to put me on edge."
"How strange. I was sure you'd be the very first to crash a festival."
"Well, sure, if there's loot and profit waiting, I'll dive in headfirst! But giving sweets to kids aside... look, you know? That thing about souls coming back from the dead?"
"Ghosts?"
"That's the one! I just don't get the mindset of appreciating things you can't even see. I'd much rather have a spice party instead..."
"You're surprisingly..."
"Quite adorable, Captain Drake."
"Oh, leave her be. Rikka can't drink rum, so she's feeling a bit left out as it is."
"An old hag getting scared—who on earth is that supposed to appeal to—"
Real Pirate Roulette
"Now then, where should I start stabbing~? It's a festival, Teach, let's make the most of it!"
"W-Wait, mercy! My heart's racing and I'm out of breath! Rikka-tan, save me—!!"
"Poking the hornet's nest. What an idiot."
"Well, doesn't he seem to be enjoying himself in his own way?"
"I am not enjoying this! Setting aside admiration for Rikka-tan and the old hag, youth clearly belongs to Rikka-tan—!!"
"Last words received. Go out with a bang!"
"Ghwahhhh—!!!!"
And scene.
"What a noisy man."
Scene 2: Maid Cat Russian Roulette
"WOOF! I am the wild beast, Tamamo Cat! Positioned right in front of the boss room—a zone that screams save point ahead—assigned to this mildly aggro-generating role, Woof!"
Waiting for the party after they bypassed Duke Vlad's hospitality was Tamamo Cat, the moral compass of the Tamamo series. Widely rumored to be more of a good wife than the original, she was the oldest beast in Chaldea. Clad in a maid outfit, she had decorated the room with party favors, completely prepared to offer proper hospitality like the capable cat she was.
"She's the last one, huh? This absurd high tension is really hitting hard..."
"Cat-san... does this mean Eli hired you as the mastermind?"
Olga Marie's deduction was met with a Cat's Hands Thumbs-Up. Cat continued to laugh cheerfully, making no attempt to hide her playfulness.
"Maid housework in general, and turning pumpkin ghosts into pumpkin pies—that is my duty! I pinch my nose, pull through the process, reach the cooking phase, and slap a quality assurance stamp on it to deliver a safe, secure Cat Brand to consumers! Mm, I guarantee whatever I serve up! Flava. Or flavor?"
"Cat's cooking is super good, after all~! It's honestly one of my ideal goals for feminine charm!"
At Rikka's praise, Cat's face flushed red like a boiled fox.
"My word... to think a alter-ego like me is considered the ideal... Master (provisional), you certainly have an eye for quality. As expected, the era belongs to Cat, not the original."
"That kind of era ended around Scandinavia! Master, please don't be fooled! That thing is a pride-less cat who wagged its tail for a dragon girl! The best answer is to swiftly cut it down like a mid-boss! Yes, exactly that!"
Original Tamamo's fur bristled as she growled at Cat's words. Cat (the enemy) simply shook her head at the sight.
"Trashing others just to raise oneself up. That's your problem, Original. Speak of yourself not by what makes you strong, but by what you love! I love canned cat food. I also love Master."
"Nobody asked you, and it's none of your business! We're already being watched by the Cat back at Chaldea, so don't cause trouble for us here! Master! Come, come! Hurry up and chop her down with that Heian Monpe Sword of yours! ♥"
"Squabbles between Tamamos are truly unsightly."
Rikka nodded to herself. Meanwhile, Arcueid caught sight of the spread of food laid out before them.
"That looks absolutely delicious! Servants can cook, too?"
Just as Arcueid said, pumpkin pies were set out for everyone at a table fit for high nobility. Freshly baked, every single piece was a masterpiece to both the eyes and the palate.
"Mhm. Mastering minimum housekeeping skills is a basic requirement for a Berserker. Flawlessly accommodating guests is what maintains a maid's—and Cat's—pride."
"She is thoroughly competent, through and through. To think extracting a moral core from a alter-ego could prove this effective... Could it be that she was the true masterwork all along?"
Even the King of Heroes marveled (half in jest). By all appearances, the room was impeccably organized; one couldn't help but admire her overwhelming domestic prowess.
—Flawless hospitality spirit...! Cat-san really is a top-ranking Servant among those you'd want by your side...!
(There was a ranking like that?! I had no idea...)
Fou let out a few soft chirps, inspecting the food on the table.
(It looks delicious. She probably doesn't have the wits to slip poison into it, so why not eat up to prepare for the next hellscape?)
—The next...
"...A hospitality that makes one's cheeks relax, yet given the karma awaiting us, it isn't something we can blindly rejoice over, is it...?"
Both of them wore solemn expressions, and as if delivering a follow-up blow, Cat continued.
"Since this is merely a pit stop to catch your breath, there will be zero barbarous combat. Once you eat, I will immediately shift to guide mode and lead you to the mastermind. But do not fret. Among these pumpkin pies... one has been mixed in, made by the current Master."
"Eh."
"...What..."
"Huh? Really? Is that a problem?"
Everyone voiced their own reactions, most of which were a mix of confusion and despair.
...Once upon a time, the New King of the Moon tasted a dish prepared by the (presumed) mastermind, describing it thus: "Could the person who made this be a Heroic Spirit from the realm of Venus?"
A gathering featuring something of such sheer destructive force could no longer be called a party. It was a high-stakes Russian Roulette, wagering both life and taste buds.
"..."
"...What will you do, Master? We could flip the table, so to speak, and simply press past her without eating."
The King of Heroes spoke to Master, his eyes entirely devoid of laughter. Since it was a matter of life and death, his stance was only natural...
"What?! You're not going to eat?! No way~! What a waste~! It looks so delicious~!"
Arcueid urged them on, practically pleading. She desperately wanted to try the feast laid out before her.
"Senpai, I will not blame you no matter what choice you make. As your main Servant, I will accompany you to the end..."
Mash declared her willingness to die in the line of duty with a tragic expression. Receiving her resolve, Rikka made her stance known.
"—Let's eat. She went through all the trouble of preparing it for us, after all."
-------------------------
If you enjoy this story, you can read 70+ advanced chapters on Patreon!
Webnovel will keep getting 1 new chapter every day but Patreon readers can stay far ahead.
Maybe it's not a big deal now… maybe it will be later.
[email protected]/Greyhounds
"And If you're enjoying it, drop a Power Stone for me!"