Like a dream, I'm inexplicably in the midst of a dazzling landscape. A stunning sky meets its reflection in the still water beneath.
But this isn't a dream. I'm more awake and alert than I've ever been.
"Welcome to the beginning of your new life!" A splendidly but eccentrically dressed man exclaims. He looks like the owner of a wildly successful circus.
"New life? Who are you?" He is seemingly swiping on an invisible touchscreen.
"It says here you died in a train accident because you believed it would cause you to reincarnate as a dwarf."
There was a copypasta that had been circulating on the anonymous boards. It said that your reincarnation is decided by, among many factors, elevation. Die on the surface, get reincarnated as a human. Underground, dwarf. I wonder if anyone tried for the elf reincarnation.
"Yea- wait! Why do you know this?" It's not like I did it because of this nonsense. I was going to do it anyway. So I might as well try for a life I'd want.
"Splendid! You felt you'd been born too late for your dream life to be possible, but too soon for life to be worth living. Hahahaha, you're perfect!" Translator's note: 'worth living' means mecha warfare.
"Answer me!"
"Think of me as your sponsor. They don't like it when we use a certain other word. I'll be helping you start your new life. But first!" The circus proprietor snaps his fingers. The firmament fades away. In its place appears an enormous cavern. The floor below is solid, smooth rock. Dwellings can be seen in the distance, lit by glowing crystals, and connected by staircases and ramps carved from the native stone. "Make yourself at home!"