She did say that she was sorry,
I guess the ball was in my court...
Fuck that.
Don't bother reaching out,
I know your wicked sort...
I don't know if she really meant it,
All those thoughts I did abort.
I don't need the closure from her.
No emotional support.
-
It's been 4482 days.
I don't miss
The lack of kisses,
I don't miss
Her somber ways.
I don't think of how
She made me feel
So far, beneath the waves.
I no longer deal
In curb appeal,
I've colored in the grays.
-
I dove deeper,
Deeper,
Deeper.
I have healed me.
I'm a keeper.
I watch closer
For the red flags,
I avoid the lowly creepers.
I don't want the superficial,
I look deep
Into their peepers.
Keep away from all the hasty types.
Watch out for risky leapers.
-
She said;
"I'm sorry for being toxic..."
I didn't believe her.
Screenshotted and locked it...
I could hardly process,
Through the shock and distress,
My fuckin' mind,
Once again, she rocked it...
Emotional gun, pulled it out
And she cocked it...
-
It took me a whole year
Just to sit down
And read that text.
It was so hard
Just to fathom it,
I struggled to digest.
She never apologized,
She carried all those lies
So deep within her chest.
She had too much pride,
To reconcile,
Her ego lined her vest.
-
She said;
"I'm sorry for not giving you
The love that you deserved."
Who was that for?
You fucking stomped my heart,
And threw it to the curb.
If you suddenly got a message
From someone who had abused you,
How would you respond to all of that?
Tell me...
What then would you do?
-
How do I accept those words,
When all she ever gave was pain?
How do I believe those honied lines
When all she brought was rain?
How can I
Let all this heavy go
Without going insane?
All the memories
Flood into me.
They pull me down the drain.
-
I loved your rain...
Hated it too...
You wanted him...
I needed you...
You needed proof...
And so I gave it,
All you ever did
Was take it...
Just to break it...
Just to shake it...
I was all in.
I was naked...
That was sacred...
How'd you make it
All those years?
How did you fake it?
-
Never loved me.
You just used me.
Broke me down.
Fucking abused me.
Just to lose me,
Then, to not let go.
So selfish.
Diabolical...
-
It took me two years
Just to shake you.
Cut your roots out,
I can't take you
To my future.
There's no room for you.
Fuck no.
Your past
Needs room
For two.
That's crazy...