When I said that we
Could still be friends,
I was standing on the edge...
All the memories,
Revealed in me,
Swirled around inside my head...
I never thought it was too late,
At least not then,
And so I said...
I had to look back at
The shit you did
While outside of my bed...
-
I had to stop
Letting your body
Controle me
The way it did...
I had to unlearn
All those habits
Rip the roots
Beneath the skids...
I had to starve myself of you
Or I would have wasted away...
I had to learn to photosynthesize
To live another day...
-
Because healing hurts,
But hurting is necessary...
Go fix your trauma,
That shit ain't hereditary...
We've all got problems,
I know they get hella heavy...
I tried to carry yours,
But you would never let me...
-
I apologize
For whatever
It is
I did
To make you hate me
Just berate me
Treat me lowly
Like a kid.
And I will never
Understand,
But I don't need to.
God forbid.
I gave you anything
And everything.
There's nothing
That I hid.
-
Or had to hide?
I think I lied.
You found those pictures that I sent...
But I explained
Why that had happened,
Did all I could to repent...
-
And when I told you
That I was lonely,
That I just needed you
There to hold me,
You never did
Make any effort,
You did nothing more
Then just scold me...
-
You took
That love that I wanted
And weaponized it...
I just slipped
On my mask,
Did my best to hide it...
All the crevasses
In my heart,
So divided...
I just cried
In the shower
Till it subsided...
-
I just wanted your love
So I gave
And I gave.
It was never enough.
It would all fill my grave.
I was chained to your heart.
Indentured like a slave.
Steadily sliding
Backward.
Your hills were depraved.
-
But I hope
That I don't haunt you...
Seriously.
I hope those memories
Don't daunt you.
I hope that you find
Someone to love.
Someone you want.
Someone who wants you.
-
I hope you marry
And maybe even have a few kids.
I hope that he treats you right,
Much better than I ever did.
I hope that you manage to get out of here.
Maybe I'll see you in ten years.
Maybe you'll find everything you wanted
Hidden behind your fears.
Maybe you'll remember me
For something better than what I could give.
Maybe you'll just live on and hate me...
I guess that's not my prerogative...
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.