After Sakiko had taken the others upstairs, Tetsuya's burned-out consciousness finally found a moment to breathe in the quiet environment.
After an incredibly long meditation where he completely emptied his mind, Tetsuya finally regained a sliver of his ability to think.
"At this rate, I don't even know who was punishing whom."
Recalling the afternoon's events, Tetsuya couldn't help but shake his head with a wry smile.
Especially when Sakiko was whispering encouragement in his ear while looking expectantly at the designs in his hand, he truly understood the meaning of "pain and pleasure."
"But speaking of which, I really did draw a lot of designs in one go..."
Looking at the stack of sketches on the coffee table, even Tetsuya himself found it quite miraculous.
At the very beginning, he had been conceiving new designs based on Sakiko's maid outfit and her overall aura. But later on, the maid outfit was no longer important; his mind was filled only with Togawa Sakiko herself.
From her putting-on-a-brave-front side when they first met, to her hardworking side when they joined [KaZoKu] together. From her regretful and weak side when she first spoke of [CRYCHIC], to her current side where she pushed her bravado too far for the sake of her goals.
Uniforms, work clothes, dresses, maid outfits.
Different clothes, different images, different moods, different states.
An endless stream of thoughts and feelings gushed forth from the bottom of his heart, transforming into a variety of matching outfits.
The external temptation and the surge of inspiration had kept him in a state of high excitement. It wasn't until the very last ounce of his strength was wrung dry that he finally stopped drawing and fell into his current overloaded state, unable to get back up.
...Why was it like this?
Tetsuya was deeply puzzled by this strange source of inspiration.
Back when he had just joined [KaZoKu], he had already seen the bodies of many fashion models for work. Yet even when he first came face to face with them, he felt not the slightest stir in his heart, let alone any design inspiration. Because of this, up until that point, Tetsuya had no awareness of or interest in matters of the opposite sex—
Until he was first "attacked" by Hoshino Ai at [RiNG].
That was the first time he had confronted his own desires, and the first time his design inspiration was sparked by external stimulation.
After that, as time went on, his relationships with the girls around him grew more and more intimate, and this talent of his—having his inspiration driven by desire—was gradually unearthed...
...
"What if the stimulation I received wasn't from them, but from other, unfamiliar women... would I still get inspired?"
At this thought, Tetsuya closed his eyes and tried his best to recall the scene backstage at the fashion show with Chief Hasegawa, helping the models change.
Since less than a year had passed, and it was his first time participating in a fashion show, he recalled the details almost effortlessly.
"The model I assisted was a woman with short brown hair, and her outfit that day was a trench coat..."
Unless there were specific requirements, models usually wore nipple pasties and thongs during shows so that their underwear wouldn't affect the clothes. The model he had helped change that day was one such case. In other words, not only did he see her body from an extremely close distance, he even saw some rather impactful underwear.
However—
"...As I thought. I can't think of a thing."
Tetsuya gently shook his head.
Even after carefully replaying every detail in his memory, his mind and body had no reaction. He was just as he had been before, cool and calm.
Then, what if he switched back to these girls?
Tetsuya closed his eyes again. This time, he chose to recall the night he was reunited with Hoshino Ai...
He remembered that at the time, to make it easier to "attack" him, Ai was only wearing a coat. And under that coat, she was completely bare.
It was fortunate that it was almost early summer then; otherwise, she would have definitely been cold in an outfit like that.
If Ai plans to wear that trench coat in the future, what kind of inner layer should she pair it with?
A knit sweater that would go with the coat? Or a turtleneck that would protect her neck and be warm enough? But judging from Ai's personal preferences, she seems to prefer sweatshirts that don't have many fashionable elements...
"...Ah, this is bad. My head hurts."
His brain already overworked during the day, Tetsuya felt a stabbing pain as if his head were being pricked by needles.
"I really can't think about design anymore today..."
Although this budding idea had been paused, the experiment had clearly demonstrated one fact, which was—
"It's not just anyone who can stimulate my desire..."
If he were really the type to react indiscriminately to all girls, then he should have gotten some corresponding inspiration back when he was in contact with those models. But in reality, the only ones who could inspire him were the girls around him. And this inspiration didn't come from nothing; it was a process of gradually extracting usable ideas from his impressions of and thoughts about these girls, and slowly assembling them into the concept of an outfit.
As for the instinctual stimulation, it served to boost his motivation while also acting to block out all other distracting thoughts.
After all, whenever he was being "attacked" by these girls, there truly was no room in his mind for anything other than them.
Following this line of thought, if he could always maintain this state of thinking about everyone during his daily design process, could his efficiency be improved, even just a little?
"Memories, moods, feelings... so these are the true source of inspiration."
At this thought, Tetsuya felt his mind become much clearer.
Chihaya Tetsuya's ambition was for his clothes to become a source of strength for others.
Although he didn't know what kind of people would wear the clothes he made in the future, as long as he always maintained this feeling of designing with someone in mind, perhaps someone, just like these girls, would be able to feel the encouragement he bestowed.
"I'll try doing my daily design work in this state tomorrow..."
Tetsuya slowly closed his eyes again.
"I really don't have the strength to draw anymore today..."
And just like that, through this experience interwoven with pain and pleasure, Chihaya Tetsuya's understanding of himself deepened once more.