I had tons of questions.
Like, a lot.
But apparently, the universe—or whatever game master was running this mess—decided that I needed sleep more than answers. Fair. I was exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally… spiritually? Probably spiritually too.
Still.
I didn't expect that sleep would come bundled with another cliffhanger.
First, the Labyrinth.
Then Tony's story about Tarnum the Druid.
Now Lilly.
At this point, I wasn't even surprised anymore. Just… tired.
But hey, I know what you're thinking. You've got questions. I've got questions too. So let's just agree on something—no asking me anything right now, okay? We'll just dump everything on Urkap tomorrow.
When I wake up.
Deal?
…
Wait.
Why am I monologuing again?
You don't do that when you're sleeping, right?
Right?
That's when I noticed it.
That nagging feeling.
The one you can't quite explain but can't ignore either. Like a splinter in your brain. Like someone's staring at you from behind a one-way mirror.
Yeah.
That one.
And then—
I woke up.
Well… not really woke up woke up.
More like… I woke up somewhere else.
I felt… weird.
Light.
Like I didn't have weight, but I wasn't floating either. Like I was there… but not really there. Ethereal, I guess? If this is what ethereal feels like, then okay, sure. I'll take it.
But one thing was certain.
I wasn't in that shack anymore.
I stood—if I could even call it standing—on something that looked like water. It shimmered beneath me, rippling softly, like light was bending across its surface.
I could see it.
But I couldn't feel it.
Not really.
Just the faintest sensation at the tips of my… feet? Maybe?
I looked up.
And—
Whoa.
The sky…
No.
Not a sky.
It was the universe.
The actual universe.
Stars stretched endlessly in every direction. Galaxies spiraled like glowing whirlpools. Nebulas burned in colors I didn't even know existed. It was close. Too close. Like someone took an IMAX screen and wrapped it around reality.
Calm.
Beautiful.
Terrifying.
"Wow," I whispered.
Because honestly?
What else do you even say to that?
Then—
Wait.
Something felt off.
I looked down.
Or tried to.
Nothing.
No clothes.
No sword.
No… anything.
"Wait—"
I panicked for a second.
I tried to cover myself instinctively, hands moving on reflex—
—and immediately felt stupid.
Because I couldn't see my body.
At all.
"Okay… that's new."
Where the heck is my body?
Before I could spiral further into existential crisis number 27—
A laugh.
Loud.
Sharp.
Wrong.
It echoed everywhere. Not from a direction—everywhere. Like it was inside my head and outside at the same time.
"Ahhh… ain't you a sight for sore eyes…"
My chest tightened.
That voice.
Deep. Twisted. Enjoying itself a little too much.
Then I saw it.
Ripples.
Far away—maybe a few hundred meters or so—the surface shimmered. Light bent, distorted—
—and there.
Eyes.
A pair.
Sunken. Reddish. Glinting with something feral.
They squinted in delight.
Like I was entertainment.
Or worse—
Dinner.
The laughter came again, heavier this time, dragging across the void.
Yeah… hard pass.
"Leave him be."
Another voice cut through.
Deeper.
Colder.
Layered.
Like it echoed on top of itself, as if something massive spoke from a distance too big to measure.
Authority.
Pure, unfiltered authority.
I turned.
There—another presence.
A silhouette.
Barely visible.
But those eyes…
Silver.
Smoking.
Cold.
They watched.
Not amused.
Not excited.
Just… calculating.
"I do as I please!" the first voice snapped, almost childishly. "And this fine specimen is mine. Do you hear me? Mine!"
The reddish eyes locked onto me.
Hungry.
Obsessed.
Okay nope. Definitely not liking where this is going.
"Uhh… sorry," I said, raising a hand awkwardly to a body I couldn't see, "I'm not into dudes."
Silence.
Then—
"I also don't plan to be anyone's plaything anytime soon," I added, trying to sound tough.
Inside?
Ice cold.
Fake it till you make it, bro.
The silence broke.
More eyes opened.
One.
Two.
Ten.
Dozens.
Maybe more.
Different distances. Different heights.
All staring.
All locked onto me.
Yeah. No pressure.
"Oooh… feisty," the first voice purred. "I like them feisty."
The ripples beneath it shifted.
Closer.
"I can see you… Stay there, sweetie. Daddy's coming…"
Nope.
Absolutely not.
The laughter stretched, warped—
—and then began to fade.
"Better be ready, bambino."
A third voice.
Female.
Smooth.
Accented.
European? Italian maybe.
My brain weirdly pulled up a random memory—Bambino. Yeah, I've heard that before somewhere.
Kid.
Child.
Me?
Excuse me?
"NakedFlesh… he does not mess around," she added calmly.
"Naked who?" I blinked.
Great.
Another naked crazy guy.
Fantastic.
"Buona fortuna, bambino."
"Wait—where am I? Who's the naked guy?" I called out.
No answer.
Instead—
The ground shook.
Or the water.
Or whatever this was.
I looked down.
Ripples.
Small ones.
That didn't match the intensity of what I was feeling.
That's… not how physics works.
"Hero!"
A voice broke through.
Small.
Panicked.
"Hero! Dead attack! Please help us!"
Everything snapped.
I jolted awake, clutching my head.
"Oh man…"
Seriously?
Another universe?
Then back here?
Can I get a break?!
"Hero! Please, hero!"
I blinked.
Focused.
A goblin.
Right on top of me.
My general awareness pinged:
Young Goblin.
About two feet tall.
Tattered shirt.
And absolutely nothing else.
Which meant—
Yep.
Wiggling pixelated ding-dong right in my face.
"Really?" I groaned. "This is how we're waking people up now?"
I grabbed him quickly under the armpits—very carefully avoiding eye contact with… that—and moved him aside.
Success.
No trauma added.
I sat up.
"Hero… he… hero…" the little guy stammered, frantic, words tripping over each other.
"Hey, hey—calm down," I said, holding his shoulders. "What's going on?"
"Outside! Look! Dead! Attacking! Fighting! Fighting!" he blurted, grabbing my hand and pulling.
Okay.
That's enough keywords to be concerning.
"Alright, alright—I'm coming."
I stood and followed as he dragged me to the door.
We reached it.
I pushed it open.
Creeeeak.
Darkness still ruled the sky—but at the horizon, a faint yellow-orange glow bled through.
Dawn?
Maybe.
Then—
Ping.
My heightened awareness snapped alive.
Attack: Fireball incoming.
A red line streaked across my vision—straight at me and the kid.
I heard it.
That sizzling sound.
Fast.
Too fast.
No time to think.
I grabbed the goblin and—
Rolled forward.
The fireball screamed past us—
BOOM.
It exploded behind us, dirt and debris blasting into the air, showering over my back.
I hit the ground, rolled, skidded—
—and stopped.
Heart pounding.
"Whoa…" I muttered under my breath.
I placed the goblin behind me and stood, scanning the chaos.
My vision expanded.
Tags began to pop.
Fast.
Relentless.
Zombies.
Skeletons.
Goblins.
All over.
Fighting.
Clashing.
A full-on battlefield.
Right inside the village.
I exhaled slowly.
"Of course," I said.
Because honestly?
At this point—
Why not.