Funny really—how everyone was able to sleep in these tight uncomfortable hospital quarters, while I couldn't sleep at all.
I felt I had too much time being unconscious that my body wouldn't let me rest anymore. It was like I was obligated to sit, broken with my own thoughts.
I was still happy to see Jo and Kiki there, nonetheless. Code had teleported them away to who knows where and they made just as much of a ruckus coming back as they did when they first arrived.
Jo remained like some exhausted animal as she slept curled up by the foot of my hospital bed, Star under the sheets, by my leg, and Belle feeding me breakfast since I still could not move my arms. And Kiki was on the other side, ready with a napkin to wipe every food particle that fell from my mouth after each bite.
Nash, Havoc, and Brand went to grab some food in the cafeteria, Code remained in his own corner of the room with his arms crossed and eyes closed, and Alice was nearby reading a book. The only one I didn't know the location of, was Ophelia.
"Where'd she run off to this morning?" I asked and they knew exactly who I was talking about.
"No idea," was all Code said. "As usual."
***
At the morgue, a girl with black hair and a longer blonde streak stood by three bodies that had been taken out. She looked at them solemnly. Two of them, of which, she was envisioning just how they would react with her being there right this second.
"Thank you," she said to the diener there, "I'd like to keep them out for a moment, if that's okay? My friend wants to see them one last time before they get transferred."
The diener nodded and proceeded away, leaving her there with the three corpses.
It was when she was completely alone and in silence for over a minute that she had finally shed a tear.
"Sorry for leading you two on like that," she said softly, almost sounding like a different girl… Her voice breaking slightly as her hair seemed to have turned a lighter hue.
"Thank you for protecting him till the very end."
***
"In any case," Code went on, "Once you're able to leave here, just ignore the press outside."
I didn't know what he meant. And my silence shouted that.
When I looked outside, the weather was beautiful, but at closer inspection—and when I paid closer attention—I could hear shouts and chatter from outside.
It was then Kiki noticed my shifted attention and placed her slender hands to my cheeks, "Master Greed, please pay no mind to what is going on out there. You are not obligated to answer to anything."
I finally understood. Of course.
I had just arrived back to the Valley yesterday, and when I did, it was with three dead S ranked mages and the pride and heart of the Valley—Ryo—decapitated and in critical condition… of course they wanted answers. I could just hear it all,
What happened out there?
How did they die?
Who did this to Ryoku?
Where is the Zion Orb?
I had just been praised for saving the Kingdom, and the minute I led my first high profile mission, it just had to be the worst possible outcome.
It felt like I had no more tears left. I had been hit with everything at once and I just did not know what to do next.
As Kiki wiped my mouth after the last bite of my breakfast, I politely asked, "If it's okay with all of you… can I just have a moment with Belle?"
Star looked at me from under the covers and Jo had perked up from where she slept. Code nodded and signaled everyone to leave, except for Belle.
I thanked them and waited a moment before speaking. With hands on my lap and clenched fists, the shadows over my eyes formed from my black bangs consuming me with a deep pent-up emotion.
Belle was so patient with me while I took my time to finally say, "Belle," with a voice so broken; I could tell the sound of it made her heart ache. "I don't know what I'm doing." I sobbed profusely.
She was still and quiet, only moving to grab my hand ever so gently.
"They're dead! Rex, Snow, Zeno… and Ryo he… he's like that because of me, because I said, 'let's go back' and he listened just because I was in charge… I should have been stronger! I should not have let them protect me! I was supposed to be their shield, and yet they're the ones who protected me! It should have been me who died—"
I suddenly felt a slap on my face. It was quick, direct, and—most of all—out of love all at the same time.
I stopped talking and Belle just looked at me with tears forming in her blue eyes. And then that same hand that struck me, was soft on my cheek. "Please stop, my Greed. I understand how you feel. I've felt that way more times than I can count. But the one thing you should never say so lightly, is that it should have been you… please never say those words ever again…" She looked at me tenderly as the sky in her eyes grew clouds and began to rain from them. "It breaks my heart."
I was about to speak, but she put a finger to my mouth as she went on, "I know… I know you'd never let that happen, but understand, when a friend puts their life on the line for you, they did it because they believed you were worth saving. Don't insult their dedication with words like 'it should have been you.'" She refused to finish that sentence.
She released her finger and put it to the side of my head as she leaned in to give me a passionate kiss.
We remained that way for a while, still and unmoving as I forgot the world. And when she released herself from me, she just stared deeply into my eyes.
"I love you, my Greed," she said as tears finally trailed down her pretty face.
Those words alone saved me.
The chatter outside seemed to stop. The raging thoughts that kept replaying in my head ceased to continue. All I saw was her, and I never wanted to make her cry like that ever again. I made it a promise to myself.
"I love you too, Belle," I replied, just as passionately as the time I had remembered, freefalling from the sky. "I'm sorry."
She shook her head as the tears from her eyes dried away, hugging me tightly all the while.
Code, Jo, Kiki, and Alice were just outside; having heard every word, but remained silent and to themselves. Despite me telling them to leave, I knew they stayed just outside, regardless.
I didn't mind.
***
As more time passed, I was deemed well enough to at least sit in a wheelchair. My crew blocked all view of me as we passed the halls from prying eyes, and we went down to the morgue where the three of them were… Rex, Snow, Zeno.
They all stood outside of the cold room as Belle rolled me in and they were each stationed diagonally to each other, the blankets over their faces and bodies.
I nodded to her as I weakly and slowly wheeled myself first to Snow who was on my left. I took off the blanket over him and met my eyes on his pale, lifeless skin. My only memories were the happy ones. Warm ones, like when he had placed his hand on my shoulder outside the Yellow Jackets castle, I've got your back too, I may still be just a Vice Captain compared to you guys, but the Silver Sharks are on your side.
I put my hand on his chest and lowered my head, praying. It was then that Code had come to help me put the blanket back over Snow's face.
Next, I went to Rex who was in the middle. I did the same for him as I did Snow. Again, happy memories, joyful moments, and then what he had said before we left, I did this for you! I wanted to make sure that the Valley not only had a new Guild as its eighth, but so also you had another supporting Guild backing you up on your future endeavors… my bestest friend Greed, know this—the Yellow Jacket Knights will always, always, always have your back! Count on it!!!
Just like Snow, I placed my hand on his chest and paid my respects. And when I opened my eyes, I noticed his worn out black and yellow headband he wore. From the first time I had met him, all the way up to this day, he always wore that dingy thing. I never once asked him what it meant to him, and now I'll never know… What a 'great' friend I was.
And after officially becoming a captain as well… Out of the five of us, he had earned it. I thought. His fate was still so unfair.
Code put the blanket over him as I finished paying my respects.
And then it was Zeno's turn.
The sound of beer clashed in my ears as if I was reliving that day. Snow and Rex arguing in the background. Ryo laughing uncontrollably. And Zeno pouring his heart out on the table about his true feelings for Belle.
The memory then skipped forward to when he had also said to me that day before we left, And the Purple Panthers… regardless of what Tubolt may say… I, Zeno, their Vice Captain, vow to protect and have your back to the very end.
Zeno's story was also incomplete. Though making it to Vice Captain of the Purple Panthers, he struggled with the respect of his crew simply because he was not around. Now that he was and was actually starting to break the ice with them, this happens.
Instead of his chest, my bandaged hand rested on his eyes. The part of himself that he had been the most insecure about. A metaphor of his life and how he never once got to complete anything he pursued, even if he gave it everything he had…
I think his situation saddened me the most. At least Snow and Rex would say they died happy. That's what I kept telling myself at least, regardless of how much of that was true.
I had no more tears to shed. Any more, and I probably would start hearing their laughter at me from the afterlife—calling me a bitch or whatever… I wouldn't have minded. It would be nice to hear their voices once again instead of panicked eyes and inaudible shouts as I got knocked into unconsciousness.
Recalling that memory gave me a migraine… I don't think I was ready to accept it just yet.
So, I laughed instead. It was a dry and pleasant laugh. The type of laugh one makes after sitting back and being grateful for the mess of their family and friendships. At least, they had them. At least, I had them. At least I still had my crew.
"Thank you, guys… I know you hate hearing that from me. But truly…" I said, my voice straining with each word. I thought I had not been crying, but in this moment, it was uncontrollable…
"Goodbye Snow. Rex. Zeno… Thank you… Thank you… Thank you…" I said over and over as I rested my head on Zeno's deathbed sobbing like an adolescent.
The room was solemn, and my crew stood outside, paying their own respects as well as they watched. No one said a word. And even sadder—when their funerals were eventually conducted—I knew I wouldn't be there…
Moments passed. All that we could hear was the ticking of the clock outside in the hall.
After some time, a nurse interjected our silence with an update. "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but…" she said shyly as we merely shifted our eyes to her.
"Ryoku of the Crimson Dragon's surgery was a success, he is currently sleeping, but would you like to see him?"