I sat with Gwen in the bustling Midtown cafeteria, the usual hum of a hundred conversations a familiar background to our own. It felt good, finally having someone who truly understood the weirdness of my life, someone who was also a superhero, even if she called herself Proxy. We could talk about things that Peter, bless his heart, just wouldn't get.
"So, how are things going with Ethan?" Gwen asked, a playful glint in her eye as she took a bite of her sandwich. "You two are practically glued at the hip at The Daily Grind. Any progress?"
I sighed, picking at a loose thread on my jeans.
"Progress?" I repeated, the word tasting like stale coffee. "No, there's no progress."
Ethan was a mystery, a puzzle wrapped in sarcasm and an almost irritating charm. I liked him, really liked him. It wasn't just the way he looked, though he definitely had that going for him. It was the way he talked, how he always seemed to know more than he let on, and that protective streak he had, even when he pretended not to care.
I had tried, subtly, of course. My hints were as subtle as a brick through a window, I thought, internally cringing at my own efforts. I'd laughed a little too long at his jokes, found excuses to brush his arm, or lingered a moment longer when he handed me a latte. I even tried complimenting his terrible coffee. He just smiled, thanked me, and moved on to the next customer, completely oblivious.
"No progress?" Gwen asked, her eyebrows shooting up. "Seriously, Jess? I figured you two would be… you know, further along by now."
She bit her lip, then leaned closer.
"Look, Ethan's a great guy, but he can be kind of dense when it comes to signals," Gwen said. "He probably thinks you're just being friendly. And honestly, it's a little weird that he hasn't made a move, especially with how confident he usually is."
I had thought about that too. Ethan's teasing could sometimes feel like flirting, but it never actually led anywhere. He'd make some joke about my coffee skills or how I always managed to look unimpressed, and I'd just laugh, hoping he saw something more in my eyes. He didn't. He just saw a friend. That stung. It always stung.
"Maybe you need to be more direct," Gwen suggested, her voice softer now. "He's not going to get it unless you spell it out for him. You have to take the initiative, Jess."
I felt a jolt, like a tiny electric shock, right through my chest. Gwen was right. What was I doing, just hoping and hinting like some shy anime protagonist? This wasn't a manga, and Ethan wasn't a mind-reader. If I wanted something, I had to go for it. A blush crept up my neck at the thought, but a new kind of resolve settled in my gut. I wasn't that invisible girl anymore. I could bend steel with my bare hands, for crying out loud. I could definitely tell a boy how I felt. It was time to actually say something.
I saw Ethan across the cafeteria, laughing with Peter about something. My heart hammered against my ribs, a rhythm like a double-kick drum, but I pushed through the nerves. This was it. No more hinting, no more pouting. I walked over to their table.
"Hey, Ethan,"
"Hey, Ethan," I said, trying to keep my voice even, despite the frantic drumming in my chest.
He turned, a warm smile immediately softening his face.
"Hey, Jess. Everything okay? You need anything?"
I took a deep breath. Now or never.
"Yeah, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend," I asked, my gaze steady on his, trying to convey everything I felt without actually saying it.
"Yeah, I don't mind," he said, shrugging. "What did you have in mind?"
I felt a mix of relief and utter frustration. He was agreeable, which was good, but still so completely oblivious. It was like I was speaking a different language. My heart was still pounding from actually asking, and he just... didn't mind. No extra spark in his eyes, no hint of a deeper meaning. It was just a casual offer, casually accepted. I had to resist the urge to stomp my foot. I wanted to shake him and scream, "I'm asking you on a date, you idiot!"
"It's a date, Ethan!" I blurted out, the words tumbling over each other before my brain could catch up and censor them.
My cheeks burned, a fire spreading across my face faster than a speeding bullet. I didn't wait for his reaction, didn't dare to look back at his confused or amused face. I just turned on my heel and power-walked, almost ran, out of the cafeteria, my heart hammering like a jackhammer against my ribs. What did I just do?
I was out of there. I practically flew down the hallway, the sudden rush of adrenaline making my legs feel lighter than usual. My face was burning, and my ears felt hot enough to melt. What had possessed me to say that? "It's a date, Ethan!" I mentally replayed the words, cringing so hard I nearly tripped.
He must think I was crazy, or desperate, or both. I didn't even look back, scared of what I might see on his face. Would he be laughing? Confused? Annoyed? Probably all three. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. Anything to erase that moment.
I was still processing what I'd just done, a hot blush creeping up my neck. I heard Ethan's voice from behind me, the words echoing in my ears, "It's a date." A warmth spread through my chest, a tiny spark of happiness despite my embarrassment. Then Gwen appeared beside me, her eyes wide with amusement and a hint of pride.
"Good job, Jess!" she whispered, giving my arm a quick, congratulatory squeeze. "I told you he'd get it if you were direct."
My face burned hotter. "I can't believe I just said that out loud," I mumbled, still not daring to look back at the cafeteria.
***
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