"Although it's a swimsuit festival..."
"We still can't find any women willing to hang out with us. If this continues, we'll be the only ones without dance partners at the bonfire party!"
Leaning against the shaved ice stall, Iori Kitahara looked around unwillingly. His heart ached at the thought of that guy Yu having girls on both arms while he could only watch.
However...
Iori, the scumbag, stared intently at the plump and vibrant body of the college girl, completely unaware of how obvious his gaze was.
The innocent college girl, who was just accompanying her friends and didn't really want to walk around the festival in a swimsuit, first blushed slightly when stared at, and quickly turned her head, trying to ignore the hooligan's burning gaze.
But even after a full five minutes, the feeling of being stared at on her butt did not diminish; instead, it changed from one gaze to two!
"What are you looking at, Iori? Damn it! You're secretly looking at such a beautiful girl all by yourself! Your conscience is seriously corrupt!"
"Nonsense! Calm down, Kohei. I'm just appreciating her with a critical and scrutinizing mindset!"
"Eek—!!!"
Clutching her butt, a shiver traveled from her calves all the way up to her chest. Tears welled up in the innocent college girl's eyes, and she turned and ran, not even bothering about her friends—
Help! There are perverts at the festival!
"...Look what you've done, Kohei! Do you want to die!"
After a brief silence, Iori Kitahara darkened his face and lifted Kohei Imamura by the neck, his expression instantly becoming extremely ferocious—
The prey he had just found, this guy Kohei actually inserted himself and ruined it for him. Was he looking for trouble! Absolutely unforgivable!
However, Kohei Imamura refused to take the blame. He only glanced at the girl twice. The excessive one was clearly Iori!
Constantly staring at someone's butt could not be considered appreciation. He should be immediately sent in to eat a pork cutlet bowl!
But ultimately...
"We can't find a female partner... what should we do!" X2
Feeling disappointed simultaneously, Iori Kitahara and Kohei Imamura's mutual antagonism lasted only a few minutes before a sense of bleakness surged in their hearts. The two instantly hugged their heads and wailed on the ground.
"..."
The shaved ice vendor broke out in cold sweat, watching his customers avoid the perverts by circling around his stall.
These two guys, if they wanted to self-destruct, they should hurry and find a secluded place to hug a plastic bag and self-decompose. Why were they wailing in front of his stall!
And given their appearance, it would be strange if they could find a female partner!
"Um, you two young men..."
"What is it, Uncle?"
Tears still brimming in his eyes, Kohei Imamura cried and looked up at the source of the voice. Two shaved ice cups were handed to him simultaneously.
"Actually, this festival is protected by a shrine. You can pray for romance there. It is said to be very effective!"
He was very angry but still had to keep smiling. The shaved ice vendor paid the protection money to the two plague gods, waving his hand at the tearful blonde.
"The shaved ice is on me. Go check it out quickly!"
"Hooray~ Romance? Hey Iori, let's go quickly!"
"Tch, only elementary school kids would believe in that kind of thing!"
Taking out his phone to scan and pay, Iori Kitahara didn't even wipe his tears before taking out a bottle of vodka from his backpack and pouring it over the shaved ice.
"Aww~ Kohei really hasn't grown up yet..."
"Are you, a scumbag who can't even find a female partner, qualified to criticize others?"
With a great liking for the vodka shaved ice, Kohei Imamura looked up and poured the entire bowl of shaved ice into his mouth in front of the horrified gaze of the shaved ice vendor, swallowing it all without hesitation.
"Gulp..."
His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. The shaved ice vendor's heart trembled.
He had personally witnessed an entire bottle of vodka being mixed into the shaved ice, yet Iori and Kohei didn't even blush or breathe heavily after eating it. In fact, their departing backs looked even more upright.
Are these two guys truly pure humans!
...
"I'm telling you, drawing fortunes and praying is completely for tricking children. It's just psychological effect!"
Shaking the shaved ice spoon, Iori Kitahara stood still in front of the small torii with a look of exasperation toward children. He spread his hand toward Kohei Imamura, indicating that he would never place his hope in vague prayers.
Compared to praying, whether it was good grades or a girlfriend, they should be achieved through their own diligent hands!
Of course, whether the methods are despicable is a separate matter~
"No, no, no! Actually, drawing fortune slips also has a certain scientific basis!"
"Eh? Is there actually a reason besides psychology?"
"Exactly..."
Seriously crossing his arms and holding up one finger, Kohei Imamura half-closed his eyes and explained profoundly: "That is, as long as you draw a slip, you can find a common topic with girls! You can even give the other party the ceremonial feeling of being destined!"
"Ha?"
Completely unable to understand what Kohei was talking about, Iori Kitahara pinched his chin and tried to establish a mental link with the former. Immediately, some fragmented thoughts surged into his mind—
Imagine if he drew a romance slip. When socializing with a beautiful girl, he could use the slip as a talking point, since girls are often susceptible to romantic things.
Not only that! If they advanced further and successfully became a couple.
He could also take out the romance slip and tell her that it was a divinely bestowed match, instantly maximizing the ceremonial feeling!
"Waaah... in that case, drawing a slip really is useful!"
Instantly changing his attitude, Iori Kitahara's gaze toward the shrine seamlessly became extremely devout, as if he had been a firm believer in the divine all along.
"Right!!!"
"Yoshi! What are we hesitating for! Let's quickly bring the Great Luck slip home..."
"Terrible Luck! Is this shrine all Terrible Luck slips!"
The moment Iori Kitahara and Kohei Imamura stepped into the shrine with ugly smiles aimed at deceiving beautiful girls, the crowd in front of them instantly erupted in sharp cheers, instantly freezing their feet in place.
"Excuse us, excuse us..."
"Huh~ why can't I control my feet!"
Turning around to leave, although he wasn't sure what exactly happened, Iori Kitahara knew from that brief sentence that someone must have drawn "Terrible Luck" multiple times.
That's right, drawing "Great Luck" would result in corresponding psychological and physical blessings.
But conversely, if the romance slip turned out to be "Terrible Luck," even trying desperately to tell oneself that it was just a temporary downturn in fortune would still cause a mental critical hit!
The fragile HP of a single dog cannot withstand any storm. It was better not to play this kind of life-threatening game...
"Wait a moment! This is just a misunderstanding! Big Brother and Second Brother, you can't let anyone leave!!!"
Swoosh—
Following the distressed wail of the shrine maiden behind them, two burly men wearing loincloths instantly darted out beside the torii, the only exit of the shrine, blocking the door.
Looking at the two men's serious expressions and bulging muscles, Iori and Kohei exchanged glances and saw the helplessness in each other's eyes—
It was truly a case of the emperor being far away. They had seen shady businesses that wouldn't let customers leave at restaurants and bars, but now even a shrine had learned this trick!
"Iori, what do we do now?"
"Unless that bastard Yu is here, brute force alone definitely won't work..."
Spreading his hands to indicate he had no solution, Iori Kitahara figured Yu must be shopping with Nanaka-nee and the others right now. He didn't think Yu would abandon beautiful girls to save them.
"Alas, can we only wait for the customer who drew "Terrible Luck" to have a change of fortune?"
Sighing, Kohei Imamura looked through the crowd with a speechless expression, wanting to see which unlucky god could draw so many "Terrible Luck" slips that the shrine was afraid of having its reputation ruined.
However, the next second...
"Terrible Luck! Still Terrible Luck! How is this possible!"
"No! Why! Why!"
Amidst the cheers of the crowd, Kohei Imamura saw a familiar red-haired figure kneeling, wailing to the sky, and angrily accusing fate of being unfair. If no mistake was made...
"Yamamoto!? What are you doing here?"
"Hmm? Kohei!!!"
Scumbags meeting felt intensely emotional. Looking at Shinichirou Yamamoto, who was crying uncontrollably and constantly frowning and sniffling, a blood-red "Danger" sign rose in Kohei Imamura's heart.
Swallowing, Iori Kitahara's pupils dilated in shock. He quickly squeezed through the crowd, knelt in front of Shinichirou Yamamoto, and frantically shook his shoulders.
"Yamamoto! Pull yourself together, Yamamoto! What slip are you actually praying for!"
"Sniff! Of course, it's, it's for romance!"
"...It's over."
Iori showed a sorrowful, bitter smile, collapsed weakly to the ground, and held his head, lamenting. A life-ending murder by the shrine was visibly unavoidable.
It must be known that this was Yamamoto! Shinichirou Yamamoto! Japan's unprecedented and unparalleled perennial virgin boy!
To make him draw any slip other than "Terrible Luck" for romance, it would probably take Amaterasu herself to rewrite his destiny.
There was no longer any need to expect a miracle...
"Damn it! Don't look so burned out, you bastard! Aren't we best friends! Come comfort me!"
"Bastard! You're the one with the problem! Perennial virgin, just practice your right hand! Why are you praying for a romance slip!"
"What did you say!!!"
The second before Shinichirou Yamamoto was about to fight Iori to the death, a huge fortune stick holder slammed down between the two.
"Hoo... hoo... one more time. This stick holder only contains Great Luck slips. It's absolutely impossible to draw Terrible Luck!"
"Ah ah, the shrine maiden is completely confused. Can she really just say that out loud?"
Kohei Imamura looked at the already delirious shrine maiden with pitiful eyes. He reached into the stick holder and randomly grabbed a handful of slips, which were undoubtedly all "Great Luck."
"Nonsense! I don't care anymore! This guy, this guy drew dozens of Terrible Luck slips!"
Tears welled up in her eyes, and her pupils turned into endlessly spinning mosquito coils.
It must be known that the shrine maiden only wrote less than a hundred "Terrible Luck" slips in total, yet this red-haired guy drew them all in one go. This completely defied the laws of probability!
But this time, it must be fine. A stick holder full of Great Luck slips absolutely could not produce a Terrible Luck slip. The shrine's reputation could still be saved!
"Good! Here I go!"
"Go, red-haired guy! Charge toward Great Luck!"
"This guy is still going to draw? He's completely fooling himself!"
Iori Kitahara watched the spirited Yamamoto speechlessly. He wanted to say that since it was a foregone conclusion, what was the point of deceiving himself here?
But this was fine too. If Yamamoto quickly drew a good slip, he could be released earlier. Only...
"Can the perennial virgin boy really draw Great Luck in a romance slip?"
"If this were a science fiction movie..."
Under Iori and Kohei's slightly uneasy gaze, Shinichirou Yamamoto fiercely pulled out the slip of paper, clamped between his fingers, from the stick holder.
The crowd instantly surged forward. All eyes were focused on Yamamoto's trembling, stubby fingers.
One fold, two folds, three folds—
The character "大" (Great) was clearly visible through the paper from the back. Now was the moment to witness a miracle!!!
"Great Luck! Come out!!!"
His eyes bloodshot, Shinichirou Yamamoto flipped open the final fold of the slip with the determination to win, and yet—[Terrible Luck]
"..."
"..."
To draw "Terrible Luck" from a stick holder full of "Great Luck" slips—this was probably a rule-bending ability, wasn't it?
Unable to accept what was happening, the shrine maiden felt black and white static filling her vision. She stood with her mouth open, took two steps back, and collapsed heavily from lack of breath.
"Little sister!!!"
Instantly flashing into action, the two loincloth-clad musclemen, no longer concerned about controlling the scene, anxiously lifted the unconscious woman by her head and feet and rushed toward the infirmary, leaving behind a shrine full of guests who mumbled about the perennial bachelor before gradually dispersing.
"..."
Completely turned white, kneeling on the ground and letting the "Terrible Luck" slip fall from his hand, Shinichirou Yamamoto was staring blankly with almost no breath. He was probably already dead.
"Well, as expected. I said drawing slips was unreliable. Let's go find a female partner ourselves."
"Exactly. That way, that two-timing bastard Yu won't laugh at us."
"Let's go! Let's go!"
Completely heartless, whether a scumbag like Yamamoto lived or died didn't matter. Iori and Kohei turned and walked toward the shrine exit without the slightest intention of lending a hand.
However, when the words "two-timing" floated into Shinichirou Yamamoto's ears, his stiff fingers actually trembled twice. He had found a new lease on life.
"Wait! You mean that bastard Yu is here too?!"
"Of course."
"It's a club trip. It would be strange if you were here~"
Turning to look at Yamamoto, the fragments of petrification on his body cracked open. His plump, ugly face was extremely distorted by jealousy.
"In other words, his two big beautiful girlfriends are here too?"
"That's right."
"And they're both in swimsuits. It looks like they're about to ascend to godhood..."
"Is that so?"
A brilliant smile bloomed on his thick lips. Red light flashed in Shinichirou Yamamoto's eyes, and a phantom of black jealousy rose behind him. Veins bulged on his arms and face—
He searched every stick holder in the shrine for a "Great Luck" slip and couldn't find one, yet that guy Miyazawa Yu not only had two girlfriends but was also thinking of scoring?!
"Unforgivable!"
Picking up all the "Terrible Luck" slips he had drawn from the ground, Shinichirou Yamamoto threw them all into one stick holder, then dragged it out of the shrine, letting out a terrifying, maniacal laugh of "Heh heh heh."
"Waaah, this guy looks completely consumed by jealousy..."
"Going against Yu, and at this time... he's probably going to die miserably, isn't he?"
Watching the martyr's retreating figure, Iori Kitahara and Kohei Imamura were already thinking about how much money to give for the funeral feast. They hoped Yamamoto would be buried intact.