A dull, heavy pain tore through Lin Yuhui's sleep—not so much waking him as restoring his conscious awareness. He could not move, yet he knew he was in a dream.
睡眠中,一阵剧烈的钝感的疼痛把林语晖惊醒,不是惊醒,而是恢复了清醒意识,但是他不能动,他知道自己在梦里.
The pain came from needles. A rusted three-edged steel needle—something from his childhood memory, an old tool for stitching the soles of cloth shoes—had been dredged up from the depths of his past. The needle, threaded with string, pierced through his quilt and into the tip of his penis, pinning his body and the blanket together, nailing him to the bed. The pain was muffled and jarring, enough to jolt him out of sleep.
疼痛来源于针刺,一根锈蚀的三棱钢针,那是他记忆中的物品,老年间纳鞋底的工具,不知为何被从他儿时的记忆中翻了出来.钢针带着线,穿过他盖着的棉被,穿透了他的龟头,把身体和被子串在一起,钉在了床上,痛感沉闷顿挫,以至于把他从睡眠中惊醒.
Then another identical steel needle came, stabbing through the quilt into his right chest. This time there was no pain, but he couldn't just surrender like that. He knew the third needle would plunge into his left chest—the heart. Even if it was only a dream, he had to resist.
接着又一根相同的钢针,穿过棉被,扎进了他的右胸,这一次没有痛感,可是不能这么就投降了啊?他知道第三根钢针会刺入他的左胸,那是心脏的位置,虽然是做梦,但是他依然要反抗.
Yet he also knew he had no strength in dreams; his arms were pinned under the blanket, immobile. Still, he strained to lift his right arm, trying to knock aside the third needle aimed at him.
可他也知道自己梦里没有力气,棉被压着自己的胳膊根本动不了,但他依然用力抬他的右臂,要拨开刺向他的第三根钢针.
He never knew if his struggle succeeded. Lin Yuhui woke from the dream, drenched in cold sweat. Recalling the scene, there had been no moment of the heart being pierced, yet the pain in his penis remained vivid. He reached down to check himself—everything was fine. It was strange to have such a dream. The night was still deep, so he calmed himself and went back to sleep.
不知道反抗有没有成功,林语晖从梦中醒了过来,出了一身虚汗,回忆一下刚才梦里的情景,没有心脏被刺中的情景,可是龟头的疼痛却依然鲜明.他自己用手检查了一下那些零件,并没有问题,很奇怪为什么自己做了这样一个梦,夜正深,他恢复了一下心情就接着睡了.
When he woke the next morning, Lin Yuhui had not forgotten the dream. Checking the date—October 15, 2024—and then the calendar, he found nothing special about the day. Why such a dream?
第二天早上醒来,林语晖并没有忘记这个梦,看了一下时间,2024年10月15日,再看看日历,也不是什么重要或者特别的日子,很奇怪为什么会做这样的梦.
The new day unfolded as usual: meals, work, leisure in between. Lately, though, Lin Yuhui had been obsessively searching for information on the Zavaroni people—not out of academic curiosity, but from concern for her origins.
新的一天如同平常一样,吃饭,工作,然后空闲时间娱乐.只是最近林语晖有点执着于搜索扎娃罗尼人的信息,不是对知识的求知,而是出于对她身世的好奇.
Liliya of the Zavaroni had said her mother, fleeing political persecution, had left her alone in a forest cabin, promising to return but never did. She had been a little girl then, growing up alone in the woods, waiting endlessly for a mother who never came back.
扎娃罗尼人莉莉娅说她的妈妈为了逃避政治迫害,把她独自放在了森林小屋里,答应会回来但是却从来没有,那时候她还是一个小姑娘,就那样独自在森林中长大,一直在那里等待她那从未回来的妈妈.
Lin Yuhui pitied her deeply. He could not understand why her mother could be so cruel as to abandon her child. What unspeakable reasons lay behind it? Only speculation remained. Later, he learned her mother had forbidden her to contact men—was that born from personal experience, betrayed by men in love? Yet, from the perspective of parthenogenetic gene transmission, such a demand served its purpose. Again, mere conjecture.
林语晖觉得她太可怜了,也很不理解为什么她的妈妈会那么狠心抛弃自己的孩子,到底是什么不能言明的原因呢?只能猜测.后来又搜到了是她的妈妈要求她不要接触男人,是她妈妈的人生经验造成的吗,感情上被男性辜负过?不过如果是从孤雌生殖基因传承的角度来说,这个要求有它的目的性,这也是猜测.
According to Liliya's account, loneliness consumed her in the forest. Her mother never returned. In despair, she gave birth to her own daughter through parthenogenesis—a natural clone sharing her exact genes and consciousness. They inhabited the same awareness, but full merging required the newborn to mature first. She remembered the sensation of consciousness existing simultaneously in both bodies. But later, focusing more on her child and neglecting her original form, her mother's body gradually withered away.
根据莉莉娅的陈述,她一个人在树林里太孤单了,她的妈妈也再没有回来,在孤单绝望里,她通过孤雌生殖生下了自己的女儿,也是自己的自然克隆体,她们享有同样的基因,她们也享有同样的意识,只是在完全共享意识之前,需要那个新生体长大才行.她记得自己的意识同时在自己和孩子身体里的感觉,但是后来由于她把注意力更多地用在了孩子身上,忽略了自己原来的身体妈妈,那个妈妈的身体就逐渐过世了.
Lin Yuhui wondered—had her mother done the same to her? Not wanting the child to witness her departure, she left her alone in the forest before their consciousness fully merged, vanishing before the girl grew up. Yet Lin Yuhui felt this was worse than a clear explanation; a proper farewell would have hurt less. Or perhaps there were other hidden truths?
林语晖就此假设,是不是她的妈妈也是这样生下了她呢?但是不想孩子知道自己会离开她,就在共享意识之前,趁孩子还没长大,把她独自留在了森林里,自己却离开了.只是林语晖觉得,这样的结果还不如和说清楚,有一个当面的告别对孩子的伤害更小一些,或者还有什么别的隐情?
By the second half of 2024, the Douyin blogger who posted Liliya's videos had stopped updating. Lin Yuhui scavenged her scattered works across the internet. As for why no new videos appeared, he eventually uncovered a sorrowful answer: Liliya was gone.
到了2024年下半年,抖音上更新莉莉娅视频的博主已经不再更新她的作品,林语晖搜索到了一些她散落各处的作品.对于为什么她没有更多新的视频里,最终林语晖得到了一个悲伤的答案,莉莉娅已经不在了.
It seemed neither the Zavaroni nor the Tayget people handled mental stress well. Both had fallen ill from psychological strain after contact with humans, unable to recover, ultimately succumbing to their conditions.
似乎不论是扎娃罗尼人还是塔吉特人都不太擅长处理精神压力.她们都是在与人类的接触中,因为精神上的压力生病了,并且自己无法逆转,然后病逝了.
Now carrying on her legacy were the tenth and twelfth generations of her lineage—Liliana and Lydia. Though they disliked being defined by numbers, Lin Yuhui understood that without numerical markers to denote sequence, tracking a bloodline of parthenogenetic clones from the first to the ninth generation—and beyond—would be hopelessly confusing.
而现在继承她的遗志的是第十代和第十二代她们家族的后裔,莉莉安娜和莉迪娅.虽然她们表示过不喜欢自己被和数字联系在一起,但是对于人类来说,莉莉娅通过孤雌繁殖自己,从第一代一直到第九代,再有后来的继承者,如果没数字作为更明确的先后顺序标识,真的很容易混淆,把自己弄晕了.
After finishing Liliya's videos, domestic Douyin bloggers began reposting content from Liliana and Lydia. Their early appearances were mostly interview-style Q&As. Later, more reposts featured Liana's videos. Her style was unique: she declined interviews, instead running her own Twitter account to publish her work.
看完了莉莉娅的视频之后,国内抖音博主就开始搬运莉莉安娜和莉迪娅的视频了,但是不过,她们的视频也是被地球人采访的问答形式.后来更多搬运的还是莉安娜的视频,但是她的风格与众不同,她不接受采访,而是在自己运营一个她的推特账号,发布她的内容.
Lin Yuhui, ever curious, traced Liana's content to its source. But since domestic bloggers reposted it, he watched through them, occasionally leaving comments like, "Wow, Liana's grown up—nice chest," teasing the female blogger. She never got angry; those drawn to such topics usually had good manners. She seemed to be Buddhist.
林语晖是一个求知的人,他很快就找到了莉安娜作品的来源,但是既然有国内搬运,他还是从国内抖音博主那里看视频,有时候还顺便留个言,感慨一下莉安娜的封面里,她长大了,好胸哦,相当于调戏女博主了,那个女博主也不生气,一般对这些信息感兴趣的人修养都还好,她好像是信佛的.
Liana's video style and substance diverged entirely from her predecessors. She wasn't a pilot, nor did she discuss related knowledge. Unlike Liliana and Lydia, she rarely introduced herself or answered questions. She lacked the playful showmanship of Lydia, who thrived on attention—and had plenty of fans to give it.
莉安娜的视频风格和内容都与之前大不相同,她不是飞行员,谈论相关知识不多,她也不像莉莉安娜和莉迪娅接受采访回答问题,关于她自己的的介绍不多,不像调皮的莉迪娅总是出风头吸引各种注意力,当然也包括她的许多粉丝的注意力.
Liana always seemed quiet. Understated.
莉安娜似乎总是很安静,低调.
Liliana, older than the two younger ones, once remarked they were interesting—sometimes clashing, sometimes reconciling their differences. Lin Yuhui guessed she meant reconciliation within the psychic field of shared consciousness. All of them had mentioned possessing telepathic abilities.
莉莉安娜比那两个小姑娘年纪更大,她说她们俩很有意思,有时候也会闹矛盾,有不同意见,然后她们会互相中和.林语晖猜她说的可能是心灵感应的意识场里的互相中和吧,她们都提到过自己有心灵感应能力.
It seemed such powers were common among cosmic beings—including the Gray Eben, the Tall Whites, and the Reptilians, who could even influence human perception. Many whistleblowers spoke of this; it was no mystery to those who followed such lore.
似乎宇宙里的生物都有这种能力,包括灰人埃本,高白人,蜥蜴人更是可以影响人类的感知.很多爆料都有这方面的信息,对于好奇这方面信息的人并不陌生.
What frustrated Liliana was that both Liana and Lydia could see low-astral entities—ghosts, in earthly terms—while she could not.
莉莉安娜说让她心有不甘的是莉安娜和莉迪娅能够看见低星界生物,俗话说就是鬼啊,当然也有别的,而她却看不见.
Rumor had it Liana and Lydia were born aboard a spacecraft during a jump into hyperspace, unbound by any specific collective consciousness, allowing them to perceive the world through their own unfiltered cognition.
据说莉安娜和莉迪娅是在飞船跳入超空间出生的,没有被特定的集体意识束缚,所以可以以她们自己的认知看待这个世界.
It seemed the universe was, above all, a world of consciousness.
看起来宇宙里更多的是一个意识的世界.