"Nowadays, there's literally an entire district in New Uruk inhabited by Eevees and Eeveelutions."
"That sounds cute." Shion commented.
"That sounds like a logistical nightmare." Arthur corrected. "Do you have any idea how many fires multiple Flareons can start at the same time?"
The three women fell silent.
"…How many?" Chloe asked.
Arthur immediately pointed at her.
"That question implies you think there's an acceptable number."
"So… a lot?" Luminous asked, already starting to laugh.
"A LOT."
Arthur dragged a hand down his face like someone utterly exhausted by his own existence.
"Thanks to that, New Uruk officially earned the nickname 'City of Eevees.'"
"That's actually kind of adorable." Shion commented.
"On the bright side…" Arthur continued. "It brought an absurd number of tourists, which means economic circulation increased quite a bit."
"Hmm?"
"A lot of families started visiting New Uruk just to let their children play with the Eevees, so the plushie and toy business exploded, especially because Shuna personally handles custom orders."
"That really does sound like something kids would love." Luminous commented.
Arthur nodded.
"These days, there are literally hundreds of families coming here every week."
"I can totally imagine children losing their minds seeing dozens of Eevees wandering around the city." Chloe said.
"That's exactly the problem." Arthur replied immediately. "Because those infernal furballs tend to cause disasters exactly like their master."
The three women immediately burst into laughter again.
Arthur pointed accusingly at all of them.
"You're laughing because YOU'RE NOT the ones who have to deal with weekly reports titled: 'Incident Involving Eighty Emotionally Unstable Sylveons.'"
"…"
"…What?" Shion asked between laughs.
Arthur simply started listing the problems like someone who had already abandoned sanity.
"The Jolteons keep causing blackouts because they think it's fun to run through the city's energy generators."
"That's so ridiculous…" Chloe muttered while laughing.
"The Flareons almost burned down an entire neighborhood because they decided to sleep together during last winter."
"WAIT—"
"The Espeons developed a habit of invading libraries and reorganizing books telekinetically."
"…Why?" Luminous asked, confused.
"They organize them according to 'compatible spiritual energy.'" Arthur replied with a dead stare. "Nobody knows what that means, and I'm not in the mood to find out."
Shion was practically suffocating from laughter at that point.
"And the Umbreons?" she asked.
Arthur stayed silent for two seconds.
Then answered:
"They watch people sleep."
The office froze.
"…"
"…"
"…That was terrifying." Chloe commented.
"Extremely." Arthur confirmed. "Every time someone wakes up in the middle of the night, there's a 50% chance an Umbreon is staring at them from the dark."
Luminous completely lost composure at that point.
Arthur continued as though reading a war report.
"The Leafeons turned half the city's playgrounds into miniature forests."
"The Glaceons freeze fountains during summer because apparently that's 'fun.'"
"The Sylveons kidnap emotionally neglected children."
"…KIDNAP?!" Shion widened her eyes.
"Temporarily." Arthur corrected immediately. "Then they return them to their families happy and emotionally stable."
"…"
"…That's strangely kind." Chloe commented.
"That's strangely terrifying." Arthur shot back.
Luminous was already leaning against the desk trying to stop laughing.
"And the Vaporeons?" she asked.
Finally, Arthur sighed in relief.
"The Vaporeons are the only ones actually helping the city."
"Oh?"
"Thankfully, thanks to the absurd number of Vaporeons, New Uruk has never actually burned down because of the Flareons."
The three women stared at Arthur in silence.
Then—
"…That implies the fires are frequent." Chloe commented.
"They happen on a weekly basis."
"What?"
"I'm serious." he replied indignantly. "Every time some group of Flareons decides to play around, the Vaporeons come running like professional firefighters and start monitoring them!"
Shion practically collapsed onto the couch from laughing so hard.
"That makes this city sound completely chaotic."
"It IS a completely chaotic city." Arthur replied immediately. "Last week, a group of Eevees decided to follow Ritsuka into an official meeting."
"…And?" Luminous asked, already expecting the worst.
"…Now there's an entire wing of New Uruk's government office where employees work with Eevees sleeping on their desks."
Silence returned.
Then Chloe spoke slowly:
"…I hate the fact that this sounds strangely adorable."
Arthur pointed at her again.
"That's how they keep gaining more territory."
Arthur sank deeper into the couch while massaging his forehead.
"Honestly… I thought that was already the peak of the problems."
"Which means it got worse." Luminous concluded immediately.
"A few weeks ago, Souei handed me a confidential report."
The moment that name came up—
The expressions of the three women changed slightly. If Souei had prepared a report, then it was probably serious.
"…What happened?" Shion asked curiously.
Arthur stayed silent for a few seconds before finally speaking:
"…Until some time ago, there were perverts in New Uruk sexually attracted to Vaporeons. Obviously they weren't citizens from here, but that doesn't make it any less bizarre."
The entire office died.
Absolute silence.
"…"
"…"
"…Excuse me, WHAT?" Chloe asked slowly.
Arthur stared at the ceiling with hollow eyes.
"That was exactly my reaction."
Luminous blinked several times, clearly trying to process whether she had heard correctly.
"That… that actually exists?"
Arthur immediately replied:
"Unfortunately, yes."
Shion's expression had completely collapsed somewhere between shock and the urge to laugh.
"How did that even become an official issue?!"
Arthur pointed dramatically at her.
"That was EXACTLY the question I asked Souei, or did you really think I WANTED to add a clause to New Uruk's laws prohibiting impure thoughts toward Vaporeons?"
"And what did he say?" Chloe asked.
Arthur fell silent.
Then perfectly imitated Souei's calm tone:
"'Lord Arthur, unfortunately we had to arrest three individuals attempting to invade the Vaporeons' residential area during the night.'"
"…"
"…"
"…My God." Luminous muttered while covering her face.
Arthur continued staring into the void.
"I was so baffled at that moment that I honestly didn't even know how to respond."
"That's completely insane…" Shion muttered, already starting to laugh nervously.
Arthur nodded slowly.
"I spent almost five minutes staring at the report trying to understand exactly where my life had gone wrong."
Chloe was already trembling trying to hold back laughter.
"And Ritsuka?"
Arthur immediately made a deadpan expression.
"She thought it was funny."
The three women exploded into laughter.
"Of course she did." Luminous managed to say between laughs.
"She literally asked if the Vaporeons needed bodyguards."
"…That actually sounds surprisingly responsible coming from her." Chloe commented.
"No, quite the opposite, my dear Chloe." Arthur replied immediately. "She wanted to station Lucarios in black suits and sunglasses around the area."
The trio burst out laughing again.
Arthur simply let out a deep sigh like someone exhausted by his own existence.
"Honestly… sometimes I look at my family and think maybe I failed as an authority figure."
"Maybe?" Shion asked while still laughing.
Arthur completely ignored her.
"But thankfully…" he continued while closing his eyes. "Alex didn't inherit Ritsuka's extremely problematic side."
"Hmm?" Luminous tilted her head slightly.
Arthur opened a small tired smile.
"That boy at least inherited a little more common sense."
The three women immediately looked at him with extremely skeptical expressions.
Arthur noticed instantly.
"…Why are you all looking at me like that?"
"Arthur…" Chloe began slowly.
"Your son decided to cross three universes alone just to find a blond version of himself."
"…"
"He also helped Ritsuka capture that absurd number of Eevees." Shion added.
"…"
"And from everything you've told us…" Luminous continued with a smile. "He clearly thinks all of this is fun."
Arthur opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
Then opened it again.
"…"
His silence was devastating.
Chloe placed a hand on his shoulder with genuine pity.
"Congratulations."
Shion nodded solemnly.
"Your son is definitely Ritsuka's son."
Arthur slowly buried his face in his hands.
"…Damn."
(End of Chapter)