Should the Hokage even exist?
This question had been troubling Asuma deep inside since a very early age.
Admittedly, as the younger son of Konoha's Third Hokage, questioning the correctness of the Hokage wasn't just heresy in the eyes of outsiders—even to his own people, his thoughts probably seemed thoroughly deviant.
As time went by, this idea didn't fade from Asuma's heart; instead it grew ever more vigorous.
So that, years ago, he clashed head-on with his father, the Third Hokage, gave up a future in Konoha that guaranteed riches and honor, and threw himself into the Daimyo's Mansion, becoming one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja of the Daimyo of the Land of Fire, all just to put the legitimacy of his own path into practice.
But later, comrades who had once shared his ideals began to slaughter each other over differences in doctrine.
Of the Twelve Guardian Ninja, now only he and one other remained.
The glory was gone, and Asuma's passion for the Guardian Ninja gradually cooled; disheartened, he returned to Konoha to muddle through his days.
Yet after returning to Konoha, what he saw was a father grown old and frail; the man whose back had seemed so tall in his memories was now nothing more than an old man on the verge of the grave.
Nowadays Asuma found no joy in anything he did; whether training or taking on ninja missions, he began to slack off.
After completing a C-rank escort mission, Asuma only came by briefly to report to his father, the Third Hokage, and explain how the mission had gone.
His careless attitude left Hiruzen, as a father, deeply worried.
Though he wanted to guide Asuma, what Asuma was thinking in his heart ran, to a certain extent, counter to Konoha's will—he could practically be counted as a traitor to the Will of Fire.
If the boy weren't his own son, he'd definitely be living under strict surveillance by Anbu right now.
It wasn't only village affairs that worried Hiruzen; family matters weighed on him just as heavily.
His wife, Sarutobi Biwako, had died in the Kyuubi Rampage, and his eldest son, Sarutobi Ryu, along with his daughter-in-law Sarutobi Linko, had courageously fallen not long ago in the war with the Land of Wind.
The hope he had pinned on his younger son Asuma to restore the prestige of the Yuanfei Clan had instead turned into a deviant who broke with the Will of Fire and turned to serve under the Daimyo, becoming one of the Guardian Twelve.
Even though he returned disillusioned after ideological conflict within the Twelve Guardian Ninja, the relationship between father and son had not eased.
Silent muteness was the best kind of rebellion.
Hiruzen couldn't understand why his younger son Asuma, who had grown up in Konoha, had to set himself against the Will of Fire, why he so questioned the correctness of the Hokage's existence.
As a Konoha ninja, what he should be guarding was Konoha's "jewel," not the Land of Fire's "jewel."
Konoha and the Land of Fire might be one body, but many times, the "jewel" of the two could not be lumped together as the same thing.
In Hiruzen's eyes, the path Asuma had taken was the greatest betrayal of Konoha.
It was also the bitter fruit of his failure as a teacher.
This made him think of Chiba Hakushi, who had defected from Konoha.
That one too had grown up steeped in the Will of Fire, yet at the critical moment he had abandoned Konoha without hesitation, turned away from the path of the Will of Fire, and led away some forces from the Uchiha and Hyuga Clan, lurking in the Land of Demons to set up a new base.
Hiruzen was very worried that Asuma would end up the same way.
That sooner or later, because of these incorrect ideas, he would become a Renegade Ninja of Konoha.
His own disciple Orochimaru had already betrayed Konoha; if his own son also became a traitor to Konoha… just imagining it made Hiruzen ache unbearably.
He felt as if his very breathing had become obstructed.
"Was there anything noteworthy during the mission?"
Taking the written report Asuma handed over, Hiruzen casually asked out of concern.
"No, everything was normal."
Asuma stuck both hands into his pockets, looking like he couldn't care less.
"..."
Seeing Asuma's free-and-easy delinquent stance, if he didn't know this was his own son, he'd have thought some street punk had wandered in from who knows where.
"You don't have anything you want to say to me?"
Hiruzen drew in a deep breath.
"I've finished my report. May I go now, Lord Hokage?"
Asuma said without lifting his eyelids.
"I don't know exactly what you've been thinking lately, but if you keep going like this, things will become very dangerous."
Hiruzen didn't want Asuma to sink into ruin, nor did he want to see his own son turn away from Konoha.
"Does Lord Hokage even have to meddle in this? If there's nothing else, I'll take my leave."
Asuma frowned; it was obvious he was growing increasingly impatient with Hiruzen's meddling.
"I don't want to pressure you with my status as Hokage. Asuma, could you come home for dinner tonight? I'm asking you as your father."
Hiruzen stared at Asuma's back; the boy already had his hand on the doorknob, starting to turn it.
Asuma paused for a moment and, without turning his head, said, "There's nothing wrong with me, I'm just a bit upset lately. You're up to your eyes in work every day, so don't waste your time on a pawn like me."
With that, without waiting for Hiruzen to respond, Asuma left the office, disappearing from Hiruzen's sight.
"Cough, cough."
After Asuma left, Hiruzen immediately coughed in frustrated anger, though no obvious fury showed on his face; it was all buried in his heart.
After a long while, Hiruzen's countless words turned into a silent sigh.
As the village's Hokage, he already felt somewhat unqualified; and to think that as a father, he was just as unqualified.