Though it was only a guess, Lin believed this Herrscher wouldn't subconsciously construct a Houkai energy shield. Yesterday, his punch had struck the Herrscher's face without obstacle, leading him to launch a round of attacks today with a sense of hopeful expectation. Fortunately, he succeeded.
Lin wiped the soot from his face and climbed out of the pit he had dug, lying on the ground gasping for air. Not far away, the silver-haired Herrscher had also landed. She looked quite wretched: the explosive impact of the rocket launchers had torn her flesh, her bandages were charred and scattered, and she was nearly naked. However, Lin knew that such injuries were merely minor wounds for a Herrscher.
Both sides called an instinctive truce. Lin recovered his strength in place. Losing the use of one hand increased his burden significantly, and with yesterday's injuries not yet healed, reaching this level was already his limit. The silver-haired Herrscher was half-squatting on the ground, her entire body emitting a faint green light. Lin speculated it was the creation authority of the Herrscher of Death. Under the shroud of light, all her injuries healed at a visible speed.
This wasn't good news for Lin, but he merely stood up with composure. He still had a pistol and a grenade on him, but he didn't reach for them.
"You are... the real Yama, right?"
"..."
The "Herrscher" swayed, floated up, and stood steady. Her vacant face and pupils made her look like a lifelike doll. Such magnificent features, yet without any fluctuation, were enough to trigger the uncanny valley effect.
"This isn't a bubble world changed after you made a wish. It's a false world you constructed yourself."
Lin didn't know why he had this intuition, but he had a sense of familiarity from the start. This illogical feeling of being different from the real world felt like a memory of something he had seen before.
"The wish you made wasn't for those who were lost to return, but the hope of creating a world without 'Lin'."
"You split yourself into two parts. You took all the pain, while the remaining part—the 'person' who spent every day with her past companions—lives with them as another person."
"Because you loathe 'Lin'—which is to say, you loathe yourself—you wished from the bottom of your heart that Lin never existed from the start."
"And you, in this virtual world, watch everything that doesn't belong to you as your own atonement."
From the very beginning, Lin had mentioned that Yama believed his existence was a mistake. So in Yama world, Lin was someone who shouldn't exist. This also applied to Yama herself.
And Lin noticed one thing. In this world that was supposed to be perfect, one person was missing. Beside Lin, there was a girl who had accompanied him from the Third Honkai until the end of the Seventh Honkai. Although she was noisy, narcissistic, fun-loving, mischievous, and unhinged... Lin admitted she was one of the most important people in his life.
So Lin, in this world, played a role similar to hers to approach Yama. The reaction this triggered was the Herrscher—the real Yama—wanting to eliminate him from this world.
"...You guy, why are you here? Why is there an existence like you in my world?"
The Herrscher's hollow rainbow eyes watched Lin. Her lifeless voice questioned the wretched Lin. He truly didn't look good: one arm broken, covered in soot as if he had just crawled out of a coal mine. Only his eyes—those deep black pupils like a starless night sky—were firmer and brighter than ever.
The Herrscher... no, Yama dug her hands into the ground. She stared at this man who should have been another version of her, yet possessed so many differences. Yama was questioning herself, and Lin was facing his own heart. They were two different sides. Their meeting allowed each to see different possibilities and their most authentic thoughts.
"...Have you heard someone say it?" Lin stood opposite her. The wind, smelling of gunpowder, swirled around him. Lin raised his head and looked at the sky as clear as a mirror, as if reflecting another person's face. "Once, a person left. I didn't know how to express my heart."
Delta departure was the first time Lin faced the death of someone close to him. His confusion, his helplessness, had come to him for the first time since the Third Honkai. But he had just been like a statue, showing no sorrow.
"But that person said I was... crying."
"..."
"I didn't understand what that meant at first. Not until I met you."
The two of them, like people on opposite sides of a mirror, allowed Lin to see a more real version of himself than in photos. Lin leaned on his knee with one hand. his breathing was slightly obstructed; his internal organs were under too much strain, and he coughed up some dark blood.
"I don't know how I discovered it, but I know you are crying out for help."
"Don't joke..."
"You are waiting for someone to save you."
"Don't joke..."
"You are waiting for someone like her to save you—"
"STOP JOKING!"
Yama flashed in front of Lin, lifting him by the throat with one hand. Her face was as hideous as a demon's. Her hateful gaze fell into Lin eyes, but he looked back at her without fear.
"It's because you would become like this... this incompetent, useless, emotional, indecisive guy! That's why that event happened! Your so-called 'wrong judgment' made to save others, to save the people around you, led to my 'birth'!"
"You will always hesitate on a multiple-choice question! You're always thinking about how not to choose! As long as you sacrifice yourself, as long as it's for the people around you—even if it means doing things against your principles, making wrong judgments—it's okay!"
"But that's why I hate you! That's why I hate all 'Lins', including myself!"
"I tell you, in the Ninth Honkai, someone needed to pin down the Ninth Herrscher to let Kevin kill her. There were two choices."
"Let Ato pin her down, or retreat and watch helplessly as the Mu Continent vanished."
The pressure from her fingers gradually increased. Lin heard the mournful cry of the soft, brittle bones in his throat.
"Did I choose? I didn't choose anything! I couldn't choose between the entire human population of a continent and Ato! So in the end, both Ato and the Mu Continent disappeared together!"
"Do you still want to dream! Do you think this is a fairy tale! This is reality! There is no having it both ways, no happy ending! The trolley will definitely run over one of the sides!"
Grip!
Lin left hand grabbed her arm. Under her savage gaze, Lin gritted his teeth and squeezed the words out from between them:
"Why... must we face an imperfect ending?"
Yama expression froze.
"Even if it is unrealistic foolishness."
"But wanting to have it both ways! Wanting a perfect ending! Wanting the trolley to stop at that fork in the road where it never has to hurt anyone! Is there something wrong with that?!"