Cable finally found a place to sit in the house. He didn't want to sit on the sofa because there were several pairs of red and black underwear on it.
Do you think they are Deadpool's custom-made underwear? Absolutely not.
Wade's underwear is all bought from the small supermarkets on the street, ten dollars for a big pack of forty pairs, all in white.
The red now must be bloodstains, the black... Cable didn't even want to know what that was, nor how long these underwear had been worn; they were hardening in the air, standing up straight like spike traps.
The dust in the sunlight was clearly visible, slowly falling on the sharp corners of the underwear.
"I thought you'd have moved out by this time." Cable looked around and simply sat down at the dining table, which was greasy, but about as greasy as the sofa.
"I did move out, but Vanessa is never home. At least here I have Ah Fu to keep me company. Sometimes loneliness can drive a person crazy. Can you see the solitude and despair in my heart? Oh, little Cable, of course you can't, I always seem like a sunny handsome guy."
"Don't call me little Cable, damn it."
"Why not? Scott, Jean, and I are from the same generation, you should be calling me uncle, Uncle Wade sounds pretty good, kinda like Uncle Sam, I need you! How about it? Do you want to enlist?"
Wade magically produced a tall hat painted with the Star-Spangled Banner, put it on his head, and then struck a pose from a World War II recruitment poster.
"You got it wrong, the flag on the hat is Cuba's."
"Does it matter? I love the United States because the cops often take ages to show up after the fact, but I also love Cuba's cigars and dark-skinned, passionate Latin girls. And now that we have money, how about going to Cuba for a trip? You seem a bit old, but never mind, if I paint you purple, people will scream at you regardless of gender."
"Do I need to remind you? We are in the middle of Infinite War, where 50% of all creatures in the cosmos disappeared. We should be dealing with Thanos, not dressing me up as Thanos and settling accounts with me, plus I look nothing like him."
Cable looked at Wade with a disdainful gaze, expressionless.
Deadpool rubbed his chin thinking, it did seem like that was the case, the World War II trip had made him forget some things: "Right, you reminded me, you killed Peter, you beast!"
"Say it again, it was Thanos, not me." Cable started checking his weapons; whether Wade went or not, he was ready to move.
"You don't get it, you and Thanos are both played by Josh Brolin. I've even watched scenes with you and Scarlet Witch, whoosh whoosh..." Wade winked and mimed a nosebleed, but quickly proposed a new idea: "If I jumped out of the script and killed Josh, you and Thanos would cease to exist. Would you be willing to sacrifice for our world?"
Cable stood up and walked over to Deadpool, towering over Wade: "I don't know what this 'actor joke' you keep talking about means, but I'm very much alive, a completely independent entity, utterly different from Thanos."
Wade wiped the drool from his face and suddenly reversed his hand.
"Your metal half actually has a 'doorbell button'? How can I believe you're real? Although I think Ah Fu might not be able to differentiate button materials, do you want to date her?"
Deadpool's roommate Ah Fu is quite a beauty, with the premise that is 'sixty years ago.'
Now, she's just an ordinary-looking old blind Black lady.
But if you hear her full name, she wouldn't seem that ordinary; her full name is Ash Er'Er, known as 'Blind Elf'.
She claims to be a former SSR field agent, participated in World War II, and even dated Captain America; she indeed knows Peggy and Lorin.
Wade suspects she might have been Hydra, or a Mutant, or an illegal Kryptonian who sneaked over with a cousin, for he is sure her eyes can shoot red lasers.
Does anyone believe she's ordinary? With so many drugs under the floorboards, an ordinary person taking her doses would have ascended long ago.
To keep her secret, Wade calls her 'Ah Fu,' appointing her as his butler, though again, it's his unilateral decision.
"Are you done being crazy? I'm heading to Yankee Stadium to find Captain America and them, are you coming or not?"
Cable had lost his patience and was prepared to leave Deadpool behind, for communication proved difficult when Deadpool went off the deep end.
"Okay, okay, honestly, you have no sense of humor; this will ruin your popularity." Wade strapped on his dual blades, put back on his mask, and nodded helplessly: "The cab is right outside at the corner, and my arsenal should be in the car too. The good news is half of New York's population disappeared, greatly improving traffic conditions. I almost want to keep it this way."
"But your target and client are at least half dead, meaning your income is halved as well." Cable pointed directly at the core issue.
"Faker! Quickly, take me to find Captain America; tonight, I'm going to vent on Thanos' headless body."
Hearing about his halved income, Deadpool was more enthusiastic than anyone, dashing out the door so fast Cable couldn't keep up with him.
On the deserted street, Indian driver Duponde was shaking his head to classic hits, using a 'Narcissus Daydream' scent from New Delhi in the car, which allowed him to be immune to Deadpool's smell, imagining himself by the banks of the Ganges.
Deadpool came running, yanked open the car door, and landed in the passenger seat, panting heavily.
"Huff huff... drive."
The driver glanced at Cable rushing from across the street; didn't these two become friends out of foes? Why was Cable still chasing Mr. Deadpool?
Nonetheless, he didn't think much about it, stamping the accelerator, and the car shot out like a rocket.
Cable could only stop and helplessly watch the taxi disappear around the corner, desperately resisting the urge to give it a round of gunfire.
The Indian man glanced at Wade, smiling as he quickly spun the steering wheel and chatted in curry-flavored English: "Being hunted again, Mr. DP?"
"No, he's with me, but I'm in a bit of a rush."
"Ah, another easy day, huh?" Ah Du nodded energetically. He understood Deadpool's mindset, jumping into a taxi, isn't that perfectly normal?
In New York City, this sort of scenario happens every day. Congratulations to Mr. Deadpool for successfully beating his friend to the taxi.
"Not bad, half of Earth's population is gone, my favorite Spider Hero turned into fertilizer, I made some money by returning to World War II... never mind, what about you, how's it going with Jita lately?
Wade rubbed his head, reminiscing about what he had done, then pointed under the steering wheel where there was a photo of a beautiful Indian woman.
Ah Du touched the steering wheel, expertly avoiding parked empty cars on the road, which were left by drivers who suddenly disappeared in motion, with collision marks everywhere from accidents.
"After my cousin Bando was killed in a car accident like killing a chicken, I did what you taught me, kidnapped her like a real man, and lately she hasn't thought about running away or calling the cops, those remote-controlled bombs you gave me really do the trick."
"Well done, I'm proud of you, really, buddy, give me a high-five."
Deadpool raised both hands, looking gratified at the taxi driver. He used to see this young man troubled by love, kindly pointed him in a direction, and now wasn't he happy?
The driver released the steering wheel entirely, giving Deadpool a high-five with both hands, laughing like a blooming flower, he controlled the taxi with his knees, not even looking at the road.
"So next, are you going to defend Earth?" After celebrating with Wade, Ah Du reached for the steering wheel again: "I knew it, so many people are suddenly missing in New York, it must be aliens invading again, what are you planning to do, MR. D?"
"Wow, you really have a knack for this, it's indeed some purple-skinned freak who looks like Bruce Willis causing trouble, but no worries, Grandpa Deadpool will handle it soon."
Wade's white eyes on his mask squinted into a line, maybe he should go find Steel Warrior and Negative Sound Wave Girl Bullet first? Facing Thanos with just Captain America seems a bit lacking....
But the driver didn't doubt Deadpool's response, instead, he enthusiastically painted the scene in his mind: "You'll chop off the alien's head and use it as a toilet, right?"
"Uh... I think you might need to slightly lower your anti-hero level."
Deadpool gestured a tiny gap with his thumb and index finger, although his hands could be pretty dark sometimes, Ah Du's approach has gone too far.
"Sorry, did I overdo it?" The driver showed an embarrassed expression.
"It's fine, like I said, just a little bit too much."
"Oh oh, tagging along with Mr. DP is really enlightening."
"Fate brought us together from the beginning."
"I thought it was the ride-hailing app....."
"Ahem... speaking of which, this task isn't easy, Thanos has female subordinates, and his skin color is different from ours... If I hit a woman, people say you're biased, but if you don't hit, then you're even more biased... Black Panther's opponent can be a Black Man, but my opponents are always White People, so if I hit Thanos, won't someone sue me? Sue me for discrimination against interstellar ethnic groups?"
"No, MR. P, you're like family to me, if anyone sues you, I can testify for you in court." The driver pointed to his skin color, maybe he could even pretend to be Black.
"Thanks, Ah Du, but I've got a plan, I need to find Steel Warrior first, he's good at fighting women, and his skin is the whitest, let him draw the media fire."
Deadpool rubbed his eyes emotionally, determined not to seek out Captain America first, but to head to Xavier Academy.
Ah Du remembered Steel Warrior, that Metallo had once taken his cab, and the car ended up needing a chassis overhaul, but since Deadpool needed help now, as his driver comrade, he's obliged.
He immediately began to adjust the direction, preparing to head out of town to the suburban academy, but at that moment, both of them clearly felt the back seat of the taxi sink a bit.
"Wade, come with me."
"Slade?"
The ones who appeared in the back seat were none other than Su Ming and his group, four people squeezed together, with the little girl and boy temporarily stored at the Hell Border in 1945, leaving only a few adults.
Several people crammed in the back seat were a bit cramped, looking like the New York Subway during peak hours.
"Ah!" The driver was startled by the sudden visitors, and the taxi swerved left and right drunkenly on the road.
"Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, this is my cousin, he's never killed any Indians before." Wade quickly held onto the steering wheel, comforting Ah Du.
"So is he planning to try today?" Ah Du trembled, there's a man and a woman in the back seat who felt extremely dangerous, like predators at the top of the food chain.
"Probably not?" Deadpool pinched his chin, falling into thought.