I was still staring at the towers and their disturbing rain-spewing faces when several Ame shinobi dropped onto the walkway ahead of us, making me finally tear my eyes away from them and stare ahead. Without thinking, thanks to the way they decided to announce themselves, my hand moved toward my pouch before my brain could react, and so did Minato's. Luckily, nobody else did the same, so they didn't take it to heart.
"Hokage-sama. Uzumaki-sama." The leading Ame figure spoke up, talking to them, ignoring the rest, including us. "We were told to escort you from here on. Hanzo-sama is waiting ahead."
Already? I glanced toward Jiraiya-sensei to see his reaction, but he remained stone-faced. Without saying anything, we continued through the rain, passing beneath one of the enormous raised walkways connecting two towers. The road eventually opened into a plaza that was surrounded by four towering buildings. The one directly ahead of us was taller than most, though not the tallest building I had seen since entering Ame. It was simply wider, narrowing at the top, like an elongated, weird pyramid. But it still wasn't cone-shaped and... Eh. Whatever, it was ugly.
However, I quickly wiped my face clean of any emotion, because at its entrance stood a man, and I recognized him before anyone needed to introduce him. Of course, it was Hanzo of the Salamander. Seeing him in person, the man wasn't monstrously large. He stood somewhere around Jiraiya-sensei's height, maybe a little shorter. What gave him that weird aura was that damned respirator covering the lower half of his face, connected to a compact filtration unit mounted near his side. I wonder... what would happen if I cut it? Could I cut it? Or would that release some kind of poison? Was he inhaling drugs? Was he a glue sniffer?
"Hiruzen Sarutobi." He spoke up, his voice sounding modulated through his respirator, bringing me back to the present from my musings. Huh... He didn't use honorifics. That's a... start.
"Hanzo."
Well, that was awkward. Not the warmest exchange, which didn't bode well. After that, the man's eyes moved past the Hokage, landing on our Sensei.
"Jiraiya."
"Hanzo."
What an exciting meeting. Will we do the same? Name every member, and just stand there, silent? So... Was this normal among leading figures, or is everyone too shy to say more than a word?
"Ashina Uzumaki."
"Hanzo."
OH COME ON! SAY MORE! At least, add something spicy like... So you lived! Or... I see you are still kicking. Or... nice weather we have. Anything! However, apparently, that was it, because Hanzo finally turned away, greeting whom he had to greet, and began leading us inside.
"The others have arrived."
"Hm...?" Hiruzen's eyebrows rose slightly. "All of them?"
"Yes. Days ago." Well. Fuck... So much for settling in first, and I don't like to hear that everyone was here before us. This smells fishy, but then Hanzo gestured toward the stairs. "There is no reason to delay."
Of course not. The trap is set; please, walk right into it. Now. Come on, be a good little cattle, this way. Straight to business... Haaah... I just gave an understanding look at Minato, who nodded back, having the same idea as I did. We. Were. Fucked.
As for the inside of the tower, it was like I stepped into a factory from some post-Soviet state. Bare concrete, steel beams, with the spaghetti-like pipes going in and out of the walls. Did these people worship plumbing? Even inside, thanks to the pipes, I could hear rainwater rushing down from above, sloshing against the walls while hidden machinery kept pumping more water from probably underground. As we ascended the steps, we were taken through several checkpoints before reaching what appeared to be an elevator.
Wait, what? We have an actual elevator. And why doesn't it go down to the bottom floor? Oh well. Better than climbing multiple staircases, I guess. Or not, because it was a metal cage that got connected to an enormous sealed pulley system. Maybe I was too hasty calling it an elevator...
After we filed in, the cage doors slammed shut, and the Ame shinobi operated a panel covered with mechanical switches as we began ascending at a surprisingly quick pace. The higher we rose, the stronger the wind's noise became, slamming rain against the outside of the tower, making it sound like someone was throwing rocks at the building.
When the elevator finally stopped, Hanzo stepped out without waiting, leading us into an Amegakure-style penthouse. The uppermost floor was enormous, with the ceiling being perhaps four meters overhead, supported by dark steel ribs. Most of the outer walls were covered with reinforced windows, giving us a view across the entire Hidden Rain. It would have been nice, with a great view, if there had been anything to see besides gray.
What I will give them, though, is that there were rugs on the concrete floor. I almost clapped for them for having some sense of decor, including the fireplace, which added warmth and an orange hue to the room. Yey! Colors! Woohoo! However, all that sarcasm left my body when I registered the table in the middle of the room and every Kage alive in this generation sitting around it, only leaving two seats free, one for Hiruzen and one for Hanzo. I won't lie, my first instinct was: run.
Scanning the group as we slowly filed in, I saw a short old man on the far side whose enormous nose was even bigger than the show depicted. Ōnoki, the Third Tsuchikage. Hm... He really was tiny. Behind him stood several Iwa shinobi, who I wasn't that familiar with, but... Hmm... Wait... One of them did look a bit familiar... I think... Yes, that was Kitsuchi, if my memories served me right.
At the next section of the table was the Third Raikage, who, unlike the shorty, looked even bigger in person. Fuuuuck... He was enormous. Muscle piled upon muscle... Which made it even more impressive that, at least for now, everyone considered him the fastest man alive. Standing behind him was a younger man, still built like someone had started constructing a smaller version of the Raikage, whom I already recognized as A, the future Fourth Raikage. Ohhhhh boy, he had to be only in his late teens, but was already on his way to becoming the next Mr. Olympia.
Next to them sat someone whose face I didn't recognize; only his stupid hat on the table told me he was the Third Mizukage. He sat perfectly straight, his expression unreadable and his face surprisingly pale. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but his eyes, emitting a kind of chill, made it evident he wasn't in a good mood. As for the one standing with him... Tsk... That man I know. Yagura. Okay, this was getting ridiculous.
But that ridiculousness only continued, because then I looked at the Third Kazekage, sitting opposite Ōnoki, and he looked younger than I expected. Maybe somewhere in his thirties? It was hard to tell. I only saw him as a puppet, so... it was surprising to see him alive, but oh well. Maybe he will be nice and friendly. One can wish for something good once in a while, no? I suddenly wondered where Sasori was right now... Heh... Another future psychopath running around somewhere already. However, there was someone from their side I recognized much more easily: Chiyo herself. She looked much younger too, but I wouldn't say she was... young. Oh no, she was old, but just not a mummy yet. But... there was another man with him... Gaara's father. Those features were unmistakable.
My eyes twitched a little... Because... This was baaaad.
"Everyone is present," Hanzo said, walking to his seat, with no introductions or waiting for us to get to our positions.
The only positive thing I could say was that our delegation was the largest among the others. But it probably also showed that we felt threatened, which was not a good card to flash towards the other players. Tsk. Was this already a no-win situation?
"Finally." The Third Raikage leaned back slightly while speaking up. "I was getting impatient."
"Don't blame Sarutobi," Ōnoki spoke up suddenly. "His old bones aren't what they used to be."
"You are older than me, Ōnoki," Hiruzen answered, throwing him a look while sitting down, and from nowhere, placing his own Kage hat on the table.
"Exactly why I know. But... we have someone here who may be older than us, hm?" He added, glancing at Ashina, who remained impassive, even when he wasn't offered a seat at the table.
"..." In answer, he simply scanned Ōnoki from head to toe before moving on to the Mizukage and Raikage, saying nothing, but the expression he showed after the trio attacked his village was enough to convey his feelings. Fuck all three of you. That was as clear as one could get with just a glance.
"So," Ōnoki continued, sensing the hostility and suddenly looking at us, "These are the kids who were present at Uzushiogakure."
Minato stiffened a little, and I wouldn't blame him; I also felt my jaw muscles tighten up for a moment.
"I made sure to bring everyone who can recount what you all did," Hiruzen said, facing down all three of them. "In case you would deny your involvement in it."
"Before this becomes a contest over whose children are more dangerous..." Hanzo said, sensing the flexing of muscles, "...we will begin the meeting. The first point: Three Great Villages participated in an assault upon Uzushiogakure."
"Kirigakure has already acknowledged a maritime operation." The Mizukage answered the moment Hanzo finished speaking, and that was one way to describe an attempted genocide. "I have nothing to add to it, as I don't need to answer anyone if I decide to go to war. As for the forces of Stone and Cloud," the Mizukage continued, throwing the others a look, showing that there were cracks in their previous alliance, "they were not operating under my command."
"Hmph," The Third Raikage immediately added, not even glancing at him, "Our forces simply acted in response to repeated Uzumaki interference with our maritime exercises. They don't own the waters, even if they think they can influence its currents."
Huh? Weren't those... contradicting each other? I mean, are they saying they were there for a different reason, and it was just a coincidence that everyone attacked at the same time? Really? Are we going with such a bad lie? As for Ōnoki, he said nothing and probably became the smartest bastard in the room because of it. Best to act as if your forces were not even there.
"So hundreds of shinobi from three nations independently decided to attack my village on the same night." Ashina finally spoke up, smiling, leaning on his stick.
"Coincidences occur," the Mizukage replied coldly, and honestly? Fuck you, man... If you lie, do it well, okay? Even Jiraiya's face twitched while Ashina's smile widened.
"Remarkable ones, apparently."
"Please do not interrupt the Kages." Hanzo raised one hand, suddenly admonishing the Uzumaki whose clan was attacked. You... Bastard. "That issue will be discussed shortly."
"The attack alone is not the only issue." The Kazekage suddenly joined, surprising me with his raspy voice. "While three villages are accused of attacking Uzushiogakure, Konoha has since absorbed them, without hesitation, forcing them to move to their village. How is it that we can allow one nation to simply conquer another when they are desperate and down, helpless?"
Oh. My. Fucking. GOD! Even he is against us?! I knew this thing would go to shit... They all are against us!
"Absorbed?" Hiruzen asked, slowly turning his head towards the man.
"The Uzumaki are relocating into your village." He shot back without blinking his eyes, "What is that, if not absorption?"
"We were the ones who requested sanctuary," Ashina said again, but the others ignored him. They were using the simple 'fact' that this was a Kage meeting... and that he wasn't a Kage.
"I would prefer nobody pretend the consequences are purely humanitarian." The Kazekage continued, "It is evident to all of us that Konoha is willing to eat up its neighbors under the guise of providing help. Yet we all agreed not to do that when our countries were established."
Hm. On paper, that... was a fair argument. However, the fact that it happened because the Uzumakis were almost destroyed... It was just dishonest nonsense, and because there was a clear alliance against us, they were telling us: What are you going to do about it? Well, well, well... Good job, old monkey! Here is your diplomacy, go ahead. Speak. Try to persuade them... It won't work.
"The Kazekage is right," The Raikage added, leaning on the table, talking not to us, but to the others. "Uzushiogakure was already Konoha's closest external ally. Now its surviving clan will reside behind their walls. An entire sealing tradition that was previously separated and even guarded from the Leaf will now be incorporated into its military, boosting the Fire Nation's all-around power beyond anyone on the continent."
"We are sitting here, before you all," Hiruzen said, and the man looked toward him with a cold gaze. "Speak of them and us as people rather than captured equipment."
"The problem is balance." The Mizukage spoke up again. "Konoha already entered the last war as one of the strongest villages. Then... After all this, they are stronger today than they were before the assault upon Uzushiogakure."
"If that concerns you..." Hiruzen interrupted them suddenly, sweeping them with his eyes, "...perhaps your concern should have been considered before the attack."
Oh. Holy shit. That was good! Hell yeah! Tell them, old man! That's what I'm talking about!
"Kumo did not participate in their campaign." Ōnoki finally spoke up again, but didn't get far.
"No?" Hiruzen snorted, "My shinobi fought yours. I have them here to testify."
"Those are just claims of kids."
"We captured some. Did those people also lie to us then?" Hiruzen added, silencing the others. Oh, true. We did have live prisoners. I totally forgot. Sooo... Why are we here if we got them? Haaah...
"Then return them." The Raikage said, raising his voice.
"No," Hiruzen answered with a smile. Okay... Maybe the old man still had his balls.
"Let's get back to the proposition," Hanzo interjected, stopping the argument, making me furrow my brows. Proposition? What proposition?
"The Uzumakis can't be merged into Konoha alone," the Kazekage continued, as if answering my silent question. "They must be equally spread out between all of us."
Well... What happened next didn't surprise me at all. Because the room suddenly grew heavy, and the table before the Kages cracked like thin ice. The source wasn't Hiruzen, though... It came from Ashina, whose aura now filled the entire room, and in that moment, I realized that the old Uzumaki was powerful... Probably even at a Kage's level...
And we will need that, because I could sense that the others were ready to throw hands, too.