Chapter: 70
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After the Story Ends or Behind the Scenes of Vox Corporis
I debated whether or not to post something as tangential as this, but in the end I had to think that at least a few people would be interested in a backstage look at some of the reasoning and thoughts that went into VC. It was a behemoth tale, if not for how long it took to write (nine months while I was working full-time in the real world), but for the amount of stuff that happened in it. I have been led to believe by some very generous readers that this fic might be wow-worthy enough that something of this nature might be of interest to a handful of fans. So if the idea of a wander back through the story from the author s POV isn t your cup of tea, turn back now.
It almost seems like it s been longer than a matter of months since VC was being posted. That I still get reviews for it amazes me; fics seem to have a short shelf-life in the world of fandom. There s just too much new stuff to digest. On that topic, some of you may have noticed others posting their own fics that either borrow my characters/plots or act as a continuance of my story all together. I know I have been approached by about half a dozen fellow fanfic authors asking if they could do this with my permission, so just a quick clarification before I jump into this behind the scenes content. Those who have emailed me asking if they could use my story have all been given permission to do so. I don t mind people writing from my work or borrowing my characters (for example, Jake and Miranda), all I ask of my fellow fanfic authors if they wish to use my work to fuel their own is that they put in an author s note that they got the inspiration from my story. Personally, I don t think that s asking much. As long as a fanfic author will credit/acknowledge my story when they borrow from it, I am more than happy for them to play in the Voxiverse (I saw a reader call it Voxiverse and it tickled me). I had fun with it, and others should, too. I like to be linked the story someone else has written set in the Voxiverse because I like to read them, but I don t need to be linked. If you want to use the Voxiverse in your own stories, just please credit me and VC in your author s note then feel free to go ahead and have fun.
All right, now on to the behind the scenes stuff
I ll admit, I was not immediately a rabid Harry Potter fan. I liked the movies in the sense that I thought they were entertaining and I managed to sit all the way through them (and for me that s a real accomplishment. I have a threshold of an hour where I usually bail on movies one of the reasons that TV shows are better suited to my personality, hourly doses and several hours when it s taken as a whole). But Harry Potter fan? Didn t describe me. Goblet of Fire changed all that for me. The graveyard scene turned me the first time I saw it in the theater. My decision to take up writing HP fanfic at all traces back to that single scene in GoF.
For that reason, it was always a kind of predestiny that any serious HP fic I wrote would stem from that moment in the graveyard.
VC was borne of my best friend (Sierra) and me sitting around one day and hashing out possible story ideas. It boiled down to Wouldn t it be cool if Harry and Hermione become animagi?, and of course they should hook up (in our world, there is no HP pairing but H/Hr). The Muse took it from there.
Muse:
On the topic of the Muse, I d say she s to blame for the most beloved and most disliked parts of this fic. It s not inaccurate to say that I battle with her a lot when I m writing, even though she usually gets her way. My Muse makes executive decisions as to where the story is going, and many times it s in a direction I don t like.
Several of the Muse s scenes that I didn t want to write but that she commanded happen:
Harry and Hermione having sex in Chapter 2. I was in the same camp as most of the people who were squicked out on this scene. I didn t want them to do that, but in the moment of writing it the characters just did it anyway, and even I was scandalized. I considered taking it out, rewriting the whole thing, but the moment it was laid out on the computer screen I knew it was going to have an enormous impact on the dynamic between Harry and Hermione. I wanted to see that dynamic play out. Also, I liked the way it really tore up adjusted and normal. This could be a very sweet, innocent Harry/Hermione story, sugary and gooey, but for that raw, ugly scar from the very start. I liked that nasty perversion casting its shadow over the rest of the story.
Not so much a scene, but a story aspect that just jumped up out of the dark and bit me on the ass. I never had any plans to make Dumbledore and his brother raised by a house elf. It took me completely by surprise. I was writing the scene when Dumbledore introduced Kimmy, his family s beloved elf, and the headmaster just started talking about the elf rearing him and Aberforth when their mother died. I was staring at the screen like where did you come up with that? , but I loved it immediately. I thought it made so much SENSE. I felt it really went a long way toward explaining Dumbledore s eccentric behavior to have him be raised by a house elf.
In the original concept for this story, Ron was supposed to become an animagus as well. He was going to be a red squirrel. Sierra and I had this little comedic skit where Ron s expression in human form of his animal inside was a sudden love of nuts. Eating them like candy at dinner, stuffing his pockets with them so he could munch during the day, hiding them away in strange places in his room. I m glad that got cut, but the back and forth Sierra and I had with that idea still makes me laugh.
The rides to Avalon. Eeesh. Quite often, the Muse will write something because it s logical. Sometimes, she s too logical for her own good. And on the rides to Avalon, it wasn t supposed to be anything sexual. Just climb up on the horse, ride out, ride back in later in the day. Seemed very clear-cut. It was all supposed to be about being in Avalon and Harry and Hermione having more relationship-strengthening talks and time alone together. But the Muse, in her pragmatism, said honestly, do you really think a teenage boy can be put in that situation and not have a big reaction to it? and I tried to ignore her and pretend she wasn t talking sense, but in the end, I went fine! A teenage boy would get turned on! The Muse looked smug, and I handed over the reins to her (no pun intended). But in the end, I liked her choice. Not so much for the content, because I remain a bit leery of that, but again for that twist of screwed-up in what would otherwise be a very sweet, virginally guileless teenage love story (and before anyone think sexphobe, it s not a matter of what they did that makes me so twitchy as it is a matter of their AGES). Oh, and on the topic of the rides to Avalon I honestly didn t intend them as a tongue-in-cheek nod to Dan s role in Equus, it just became a slice of delicious serendipity. Sometimes the Muse is wicked clever ;)
The talk at the zoo between Harry and Jake about babies and being a good man . I still dislike that conversation to this day. It was just so mushy. I needed something to fill the conversation void between them at the zoo until they got to the lion exhibit, and that just came out, and I thought it looked a lot like a cow patty thrown against the wall. BUT the Muse had a reason for doing what she did. I ve found that a great deal of the time, the Muse knows where a story is going a lot better than I do. This was a case in point. Because without that talk between Jake and Harry, I don t know how I would have gotten those two characters to genuinely bond. Jake and Harry had been a pace apart the entire time, cordial but always aware of this invisible rope between them as they played tug-of-war over Hermione. That conversation at the zoo broke the wall between them and Jake really began to take a liking to Harry as a person who might be almost good enough for his little girl. But it still makes me roll my eyes, even with all that taken into consideration.
And on the topic of the Grangers I never expected Jake and Miranda to become such influential characters to Harry. I planned that they d grow to like him, but not even I foresaw Miranda and Jake coming to love Harry. And by the end, they undeniably do love Harry. I didn t plan on Hermione s parents being such powerful forces in the story, but I can say that this was one move on the Muse s part that I applaud, because I am dearly fond of Jake and Miranda Granger. I didn t set out in VC to give Harry a pair of adults he could look upon as a surrogate mother and father, but Jake and Miranda took the duty upon themselves, and good for them!
The Christmas Eve conversation about Harry s divination vision wasn t planned, either. I needed a reason for them to stay up all night talking; Harry couldn t go to sleep. I wanted the news about Dudley to be a surprise on Christmas morning, and if Harry slept he d probably have a vision-dream and see it happen. So to fill the hours, Harry just started blabbing about babies. I got really sick of all the talk about babies in this story.
Neither Kimmy nor Aberforth were supposed to die when I envisioned the conclusion of this story. I didn t want them to die, and I really tried to think of a way I could spare their lives, but after the way I d set up the scene, I couldn t think of an escape route that didn t sound like a convenient cop-out, a blatant plot device to allow two characters that I wanted to live to, in fact, live. I was sad for about a day when I realized Kimmy and Aberforth were going to die.
Music:
As I said, this story took me nine months to write, and when I write I always listen to music. I find it often facilitates the mood I m trying to convey in a scene to have a song on in the background that exemplifies that mood I m trying to capture. As you can imagine, there were a large variety of moods and emotions I had to capture to properly tell the story in Vox Corporis . By the end, Vox Corporis had its own soundtrack (yes, I even compiled the songs on a CD so I could listen to the Vox Corporis soundtrack in the car). For those who might be curious, here is the track listing for that soundtrack and the scenes for which particular songs were expressly chosen (and where appropriate, a sampling of the lyrics that made me associate the songs with their corresponding scenes).
"Vox Corporis" Soundtrack
1. Inside Out Von Ray (surviving the third task)
Yeah, you're turning me inside out. It's taking all my strength and will to stay. Maybe time will make it right.
2. Last Night On Earth Delta Goodrem (Hermione and Harry together/Chapter 2)
Your fingers on my skin Only you can hear my fear Only you can help me heal I see forever with you here It's never enough No matter how many miles stand between us This is love If tomorrow never comes I want you to know right now that I I'm gonna love you until the day I die And if tomorrow falls asleep Can you hold me first I'm gonna love you like It's the last night on earth
3. Fix You Coldplay (Hermione helps Harry after the Triwizard Tournament)
4. I Dare You Shinedown (Harry realizes what Hermione is to him)
5. Caught in the Sun Course of Nature (Harry and Hermione grow closer)
People everywhere how could I be sure Is it you that I have been looking for What would it take for me to be comfortable With you, with me you're the chosen one What if I missed you You got caught in the sun What if I did something Never to be enough
6. Waiting (Save Your Life) Omnisoul (under the tree at Hogwarts)
But if you want me to I ll be the one for you Maybe I can save your life
7. Listen to Your Heart DHT (back at Hogwarts)
there are voices that want to be heard so much to mention but you can t find the words the scent of magic the beauty that s been when love was wilder than the wind
8. Animal Song SavageGarden (Knight and Sagehunter s first forest run)
people pushing me too far I've got to break away So take my hand now 'Cause I want to live like animals Careless and free like animals I want to live I want to run through the jungle With wind in my hair and the sand at my feet
9. Two Worlds Phil Collins (Harry and Hermione the animagi)
10. You and Me Lifehouse (Harry s vision/the hook-up)
all of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right I'm tripping on words you got my head spinning I don't know where to go from here cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do nothing to prove and it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
11. Nothing But a T-Shirt On Jessica Simpson (Hermione in love)
with you I can let my hair down I can say anything crazy I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground With nothing but a T-shirt on I never felt so beautiful Baby, as I do now Now that I'm with you
12. Hero Enrique Iglesia (Harry in love)
Would you cry if you saw me crying And would you save my soul tonight Would you tremble if I touched your lips Would you laugh Please tell me this Now would you die for the one you loved Hold me in your arms tonight I can be your hero baby I can kiss away the pain I will stand by you forever You can take my breath away
13. Shimmer Shawn Mullins (Harry and Hermione are a couple)
he's born to shimmer he's born to shine he's born to radiate he's born to live he's born to love but we'll teach him not to hate true love it is a rock smoothed over by a stream no ticking of a clock truly measures what that means and this thing they call our time heard a brilliant woman say she said you know it's crazy how I want to capture mine I think I love this woman's way I think I love this woman's way she shimmers, the way she shines the way she radiates the way she lives, the way she loves
14. Hallelujah Karen Carpenter (Harry and Hermione during Christmas)
15. The First Noel Sarah McLachlan (Harry and Hermione during Christmas)
16. All I Want is You U2 (the Gringott s medallion)
You say you'll give me eyes in a world of blindness A river in a time of dryness A harbor in the tempest But all the promises we make From the cradle to the grave When all I want is you
17. Deliver Me David Crowder Band (Harry and Hermione *I edited out the Jesus, Jesus stuff in the middle*)
Deliver me out of the sadness Deliver me from all the madness Deliver me courage to guide me Deliver me your strength inside me All of my life I've been in hiding Wishing there was someone just like you Now that you're here Now that I've found you I know that you're the one to pull me through
18. Anakin vs Obi-Wan - Revenge of the Sith (show-down with Voldemort)
19. Iris Goo Goo Dolls (Knight at Hermione s hospital bedside; waiting for her)
And I'd give up forever to touch you Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life Cause sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight
20. One Moment in Time Whitney Houston (Harry and Hermione happily ever after)
I broke my heart for every gain To taste the sweet, I faced the pain I rise and fall,
Yet through it all this much remains I want one moment in time When I'm more than I thought I could be When all of my dreams Are a heartbeat away And the answers are all up to me
Also on the topic of music, some time during Harry and Hermione s happy Christmas I received an email from one of my readers by the name of Jasper. He wrote me a terrific email and in it said he was inspired to write a song for it. In fact, the song I named but never created lyrics for, Give Our Magic Time . This is what he sent me:
It's a song parody of "Suspended in Time". It was inspired by your fanfic, Vox Corporis... So, without further ado... Give Our Magic Time
A child that never was Scarred from your birth because Of what some other man does with his life While I was kept safe and sound With none of the dark around That always seems to abound in your life
But we are what we each need A magic that must be freed And so I say unto you To let me cast this one spell upon you And please give our magic time I know when I'm with you Dark shall not abide And I know for certain That we shall not die Oh please if you love me Just stay by my side
Together from the first day Unable to look away Completely unable to say how I felt Your eyes trap me in a spell That holds me here o so well I doubt I could ever tell what it means
But we are what we each need A magic that must be freed And so I say unto you To let me cast this one spell upon you And please give our magic time I know when I'm with you Dark shall not abide And I know for certain That we shall not die Oh please if you love me Just stay by my side My side
Thanks, Jasper!
Why a Black Jaguar and Lioness:
Since several people have emailed me to ask why I chose those particular animals for Harry and Hermione s animagus forms, I have to assume there are even more people who didn t write me that are similarly curious.
For me, the black jaguar for Harry came the most immediately. The quiet power, solitary nature, natural competence, and intensity of a jaguar fit Harry too well. In my mind, he is all those things as a person. Honestly, I have a hard time imagining his animagus form being anything else. Hermione took a little longer to decide on, but not much. Lions are regal, strong, unapologetic masters of their domain, and for the most part Hermione is that. But to have her become a gregarious animal, one that lives in a pride and has a family unit to defend, fits the fiercely protective aspect of Hermione that has been apparent since first year. The coloring (Harry s black hair for his black jaguar and Hermione s brown hair for the lioness s mane) only helped to decide me that those forms WERE Harry and Hermione.
Cutting Room Floor:
For all that VC covered, there were a lot of original ideas that didn t make it into the fic merely for the fact that it would have been a thousand pages long if I had written everything. For the most part, I think the story was better for having lacked those orphaned notions.
One rejected storyline concerned Kimmy. In addition to her affinity for boxer shorts, she was going to have a slight problem with kleptomania when it came to her favorite undergarments. In the original idea, Harry would catch Kimmy always nicking his boxers when she did his laundry.
For a brief moment in the timeline s skeleton phase, Belinda Hernandez was actually going to work her way into the story as starting up an honest friendship with Hermione after her fallout with Grace. Not that I wanted her to, but I could just see, in my head, Belinda stopping by the Granger house (as her schism with Grace left her without companionship) and the two girls finding an odd friendship in each other. But the story needed to move along and Hermione wasn t at her parents house long enough for Belinda to poke her head back into the story.
In the notes for VC, Kimmy and Dobby were going to hook up. Dobby would find out that Harry was being watched over during the summer by a house elf and naturally offer his services, and refuse to be turned down, and he and Kimmy were going to fall in elf love. Kimmy was going to have twin baby elves, a boy and a girl, named Harry and Harry (Dobby s idea), and the little girl elf Harry was going to absolutely adore wizard Harry, and little boy elf Harry was going to be a bundle of energy racing all over the house. Aren t you glad that dren didn t make it into the final version?
Ron was going to hook up with a Slytherin girl. Hadn t gone as far as deciding which one, but since by the fourth movie we didn t know who Luna was I tried to think of who else might be a love interest for Ron. But in the end, I decided I couldn t stand to write that much about my least favorite character, so he stayed single and pratty.
The last hurrah:
Knowing that this was going to be the last fanfic I wrote (or at least the last intensive, novel-length monstrous investment of time), I indulged myself. The slow pacing of this story reflects a great deal of that. I didn t restrain myself from putting in all the little details and simple moments between Harry and Hermione. I decided early on to make this all about the relationship and the path it takes to make Harry and Hermione a couple. I thought to myself if this is the last, it will be the sweet symphony I want it to be . I knew when I started writing something serious, something original, I couldn t wallow so blissfully in the little moments like I can in fanfic. The Voldemort plot-line was included mostly as a certain obligation; in my view any serious, involved HP fic should conclude the business with the dark wizard who s made Harry s life a held breath of uncertain fate.
Creating a story of this size that cleans up the Voldemort mess also finalizes the fact that VC will be the only fic of its kind to come from me. Because, as I said, I think every sincere HP fic has to tackle Voldemort, and I only wanted to have to kill him once. Jo can take it from there ;)
I know there were some of you who stuck with VC right to the end hoping for another love scene between Harry and Hermione, and I can only imagine the disappointment when that didn t happen. I hope, in hindsight, you can understand how I didn t want to take two fifteen-year-old kids down the path of frequent physical intimacy more befitting older people. It happened once under extenuating circumstances, but after that horrible night had passed I made the decision that it wouldn t go that far again, instead they would grow closer intellectually and emotionally (with a bit of snogging thrown in). The ending of the story as it is posted is how it was originally written then I got to thinking about those smut-lovers out there who were just dying for another shag scene. So I wrote one. I sent both endings to my beta for her opinion on what would be the best ending, from a reader s perspective. She liked the story s original ending, and what really made me abandon any thoughts of substituting it for the smutty ending was when she asked, rather succinctly, how do you want people to leave this story? The happiest man on earth ending, the sweet and pure happily ever after for Harry and Hermione, was definitely how I wanted this story to end and how I wanted readers to remember it ending. But then it seemed such a shame to waste a perfectly good smut scene where I didn t have to fret over their ages because now they re both adults!
And so, for your pure visceral enjoyment, the alternate ending for Vox Corporis , beginning right when Arthur left the Potter house:
You know we were in the middle of something, Harry whispered hopefully in her ear.
Hermione smiled then, a beautiful smile that bloomed on her face and made her almost seem to glow. She turned in his arms and looked up lasciviously at him. So we were better luck in the bedroom, perhaps?
Harry didn t need to be told twice. With a grin, he scooped her up in his arms. Hermione squealed and instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. Harry! she cried breathlessly. But she didn t offer anything more in the way of protest as he carried her through their house toward the master bedroom. Not unless one wanted to call her nibbling on his ear a protest, which Harry wouldn t. It made him laugh and walk faster, hungry for her touch, blind with a burning need to make love to her.
Their bedroom door had been left open since the last time one of them had gone in there, and it made Harry s task all the easier as he carried Hermione inside. The room was a perfect blend of both of them. There was a small bookcase against the far wall for Hermione s overflow of books from the library, a broom rack was set up in a corner for Harry s Firebolt, there was a small desk stocked with parchment and quills, and there were two side-by-side enlarged pictures, muggle photographs as opposed to wizard ones because Hermione had said she didn t fancy woodland or grassland creatures watching her have carnal knowledge of her husband, depicting a South American jungle and an African savannah, respectively. They were all compliments to the large bed that took up the majority of the bedroom. Hermione had left a book on her side of the bed, something she d been reading when Harry left that morning, but there was still plenty of bed space available.
It was to that spacious bed that Harry took Hermione, and he laid her on top of the comforter, blood singing in his veins for what was to come. Hermione looked up at him, her eyes dark with lust. Her thinly clothed breasts were rising and falling with her breathing, portions of her hair had come loose from her ponytail to fan out around her, her body was a supple length of smooth skin just waiting to be revealed, and in her face she was waiting patiently for him to unravel her she was unspeakably beautiful. Harry s desire intensified and he bent down to kiss her. Hermione answered his lips with her own, raking her tongue across the entrance to his mouth. Harry opened for her and deepened the kiss in the next second.
Hermione suddenly broke their kiss to giggle against his mouth. Harry grinned, even though he didn t know what was so funny, and Hermione shimmied away from him. Harry drew back and looked after her, curious and aroused.
Hermione rose to her knees on the mattress and shuffled over to the edge at which Harry stood. He wanted so badly to reach out and take her, but Hermione had something in mind and he was always game for his wife s bedroom fancies.
Hermione was level with his shoulders, she had to look up into his face to smile hungrily at him, then she purposefully took the bottom of his shirt in her hands and drew the material up his body. Harry complied and shed the bothersome article of clothing. Hermione s hands were immediately on his chest, her fingers curling in the sprinkling of hair. She appreciatively traced the contours of his muscles with her strong yet delicate hands. Hermione liked to say he d blossomed nicely. Harry always countered that blokes didn t blossom . Hermione would then counter that he d turned into a sexy hunk if he liked that better. He would say he did. It usually ended in just the sort of activities that it was now. He might not be the world s strongest fellow, but he was a guy so he d done his fair share of posing and flexing in the mirror. It would be almost impossible to recognize him as someone who d once been scrawny and underfed.
By the same token, Harry firmly believed it would be impossible, looking at Hermione now, to believe anyone would have ever thought her ugly.
Harry s thoughts were thoroughly derailed when Hermione leaned in and suckled on his neck. Harry groaned and his arms reflexively went around her. Hermione sighed against his skin and lightly raked her teeth over his collar bone. Harry took hold of Hermione s shirt and tugged. Hermione backed away from her work on his torso to lift her arms so that Harry could rid her of her shirt. She wasn t wearing a bra and her breasts were immediately exposed. One of Harry s hands went to one perfect, creamy enticement immediately while the other slipped around the dip of her waist. Hermione gasped and leaned into his touch. Almost as an afterthought, she tracked her tongue over his right nipple, even as her own nipples hardened.
Harry s need and desire was painfully confined in his jeans, but he wasn t about to take his hands off his wife to free his erection. Her skin was too intoxicating.
Hermione s hands were everywhere on his chest, his stomach, tracing over his sides and back. She was working him right into madness, but he loved every second of it. He let go of her breast to move both hands down, slip them into her pajama pants and knickers, and cup her buttocks. He tugged her against him, and her soft breasts pressed into his chest even as her stomach came flush against his aching hardness. It only made the agony of his jeans worse, but it was a truly wonderful torture. Hermione writhed against him and Harry clutched her tighter to his body. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders and she nibbled at his ear again.
With a groan, Harry blindly toed off his shoes. Hermione hummed against his neck then her arms abandoned their position of embrace. Hermione moved away from him and from Harry s hold and Harry wondered in frustration where she thought she was going.
Then Hermione was unfastening his pants and Harry trembled excitedly. Hermione pulled down his jeans and boxers enough to finally free the aching madness of his crotch. Hermione left his pants nearly to his knees and reached out and stroked him. Harry was on the razor edge of going completely, absolutely spare. She didn t take hold of him, to which he may have been able to press further into her palm, but she petted lightly, just enough to make him crazy. When she smiled up at him, he knew she d done it on purpose.
Passion flaring, Harry hastily pulled back from her and shed the last of his clothes until presently he stood in the bedroom, bare but for his glasses. Hermione s eyes raked his form shamelessly. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips.
Harry moved in closer, slipped his hand inside her knickers, and curled his palm around the patch of curly hair at the apex of her thighs. He crooked a finger, dipped inside her folds, and found the spot almost immediately. It was like lighting a firecracker. Hermione s back arched, her eyes rolled, and she gasped hoarsely, Harry!
Harry was savagely proud of himself. He hadn t always been this good with her, he hadn t always known what to do, but they d learned together. He d finally found a subject in which he was an avid pupil. Now he knew just how to touch her to wind her up. A lot of witches and wizards might naturally presume that he took the most pride in defeating Voldemort, but the truth was that he was far prouder of the way he could make Hermione sigh his name. He grinned and massaged her with his finger. Hermione grabbed his upper arms and clung to him fiercely as her head lolled back, her mouth open and eyes closed in near-ecstasy. Hermione rocked against his hand and Harry rubbed again and at the same time ducked in to suckle on her throat. Hermione s moans were loud and delicious in his ear. They were erotic as all get out.
If he wasn t careful, she d finish him before he d even entered her.
Harry withdrew his hand and Hermione whimpered petulantly. Don t stop, she hissed.
Bossy, Harry countered with a throaty chuckle. Hermione opened her eyes, snapped her gaze to him, and he knew he d woken the lioness. Not Sagehunter, but the lioness inside Hermione the witch. She leveled a hot, vengeful look at him and wrapped her hand around his rigidity.
Harry s hips moved of their own accord and he choked on a moan. He thought the petting was bad, but this was definitely worse for undoing him. He covered Hermione s hand with his own to still any damning movement. Careful, he said in a breathy rush and met Hermione s eyes desperately.
She understood, considered the options, then gave a tiny nod and a dangerous smile. Harry cautiously let go of Hermione s hand. She seemed undecided for a moment as she gazed down speculatively at her prize, then she trekked her hand slowly from his base to tip and brought her hand away.
It was almost enough to push him over the edge anyway. Merlin, Hermione, Harry groaned, you re going to kill me.
Hermione smiled. Well, I don t want that. Not until I ve had my way with you.
Then strip so you can bloody well get on with it.
Hermione laughed, sultry and husky, and complied. She shifted on the bed to take off the last of her clothes, and Harry watched in rapt arousal.
When she was naked, Hermione turned her back to Harry to put her book that she d left on the bed that morning on the nightstand. That was his Hermione, always mindful of the books, even when he was thinking of nothing beyond shagging her senseless.
When her back was turned, Harry s eyes went to the long brown scar on her back. It traced from her left shoulder to her right hip, standing out sharply on her fair skin. Harry s fiery passion abated for a moment to give way to tenderness. That had taken a long time to heal. The curse s black magic made it stubborn to treat, and Hermione had been in pain for a long time. The first dozen or so times after the attack that they d made love, Hermione had to be on top because it hurt too much for her to be on her back. The healers said the scar would never go away. Harry was just glad that it didn t hurt anymore, even if it was a permanent scar. Hermione tried not to appear vain, always said it was nothing considering that it had been a choice between an ugly scar and death so of course the scar was preferable, but Harry knew it had been a blow to Hermione s self-image just the same. Hermione, who had never thought herself beautiful anyway, now privately thought herself disfigured as well.
Harry didn t see that. He wished she d never been hurt to end up with a scar in the first place, but it was part of her now. No different than the scar on his forehead, and that had never been an eyesore to Hermione. She d even told him she found it attractive, though he wondered if maybe she was just being kind. Rather, he thought she might view his scar much as he saw hers, a badge of her strength, a testament to her will to live.
She was no less beautiful for the mark. If anything, it made her even more beautiful, because it said that she was just as remarkable on the inside to have survived it.
But Harry knew it bothered her sometimes.
While she put away her book, Harry got on the bed and padded across the mattress toward her on his hands and knees. He reached her and gently kissed the top of her scar at her left shoulder. Hermione sighed at the touch of his lips. Harry kissed her again, and again, tracing his lips along the reminder that she had been at his side at the darkest hour. This was the proof that Hermione loved him more than anything, that they would be together the rest of their lives because if Voldemort couldn t separate them what had any hope of pulling them apart? It would always be his scar, because Hermione wouldn t let anyone else do to it the things he did. She had her own claims on his scars; the world might see (and in many ways claim) the lightning-bolt shaped mark on his forehead, but only Hermione knew the ones beneath his clothes.
Hermione lay down on her side then rolled on to her back underneath Harry. She looked up at him, eyes shining. Harry dropped down to kiss her. Hermione shifted under him, her arms coming to circle around his neck. Harry rocked slowly, languidly against her and moved to kissing her neck. Hermione s fingers tangled in his hair. Harry tossed his glasses aside, mindless of where they landed. If they broke, Hermione would fix them, but right now they were in the way.
Harry worked his way attentively down her body, kissing her and pressing his tongue to Hermione s breasts in turn while she breathed heavily and sighed beneath him. He nipped and lightly kissed his way down her stomach until he stopped at her navel. There, just below her bellybutton, he pressed his lips lovingly to her stomach. He smoothed one hand over her lower abdomen with great affection and care.
Hermione s hands in his hair stilled for a brief moment, then she wriggled restlessly under him. Harry she breathed.
Harry looked up at her face. She was flushed, her lips swollen from their kissing, her mouth parted and eyes at half-mast. She met his gaze and he would never tire of the way she could turn him inside out with a glance. And he knew what her look held she was ready for him.
Harry positioned himself between her parted legs. Hermione moved in eager anticipation, her thighs cradling him intimately. Harry moved up the bed until they were staring straight into each others eyes. Then he gently pushed himself inside her.
Hermione moaned and clung to his back. Harry drew back and pushed into her again. She tried to keep her eyes on him, but almost against her will her eyes closed and her head tilted back on the pillow. Harry loved watching her like this. He rocked his hips, pressing deeper inside her, and she gasped for air.
Harry moved his right hand to her left thigh, reveling in the feel of her soft skin as he moved slowly in and out of her. Hermione arched beneath him and her breaths became faster. Harry kissed her cheek, her jaw, the warm skin just below her ear, the entire time retreating only to enter her anew. Hermione gave a strangled cry and her body tensed beneath him. Harry was almost fit to burst, but he was determined to wait on her.
He brought his lips to her ear and whispered gruffly, Love you he moved into her again, love you love you
Hermione quaked and clenched around him. Her body trembled, her chest heaved, she locked her ankles behind his bum to draw him deeper into her. Harry obliged and watched in wonder as Hermione panted and climaxed under him.
Harry waited, though it made him crazy to do it, while Hermione came back to herself. He held still and watched.
When Hermione opened her eyes and looked at him her gaze was glassy and happy and sated. Those were the moments Harry lived for, and he smiled at her.
Then Hermione rocked her hips against him and he couldn t fight his need any longer. He resumed moving in and out of her, and now that he d seen to her he let himself speed up. Hermione rocked to meet him. He could feel his control slipping, the muscles in his neck tightening, his back tensing, his heart racing. He thrust into her, drove harder and faster, tumbling ever closer to the edge. He was breathing like a marathon runner, his vision was tunneling, he couldn t hold a coherent thought beyond being deep inside her.
Yes, Harry, Hermione gasped, again and again. Hermione, always one to cheer him on. Yes, Harry oh, Harry, she chanted, and it was more than he could handle. Harry erupted. He buried his face in her shoulder as he shuddered against her and spilled inside her. Hermione undulated and encouraged him to give everything to her, and Harry shifted to burrow even further into her as his orgasm gripped him. Then he let out a ragged breath and sagged against her, spent. Hermione was holding him, wrapped thoroughly around him.
While Harry tried to catch his breath he felt one of her hands find its way into his hair. Harry closed his eyes. This was the thing he d missed his whole young life, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was precious to someone. This was what people meant by happiness. He recalled a time when he never thought he d get to have it.
When he d recovered his senses, Harry pulled his head back from her shoulder and propped himself up on his elbows to gaze down at her. Hermione watched him with pure love in her eyes. She looked gorgeous beyond words, pink and winded from their love-making.
Harry rolled a lock of her hair between his index finger and thumb. Have I told you lately how amazing you are?
Hermione laughed. Well, you can tell me again if you like.
Harry kissed her sweetly on the mouth. You are he kissed her again, amazing.
Hermione purred under her breath. You re pretty mind-blowing yourself.
I wasn t just talking about the sex, Harry said seriously.
Neither was I, she returned and stared at him with warm, wise eyes.
Harry grinned. He utterly, completely, hopelessly loved this woman.
Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled. You know, it just occurred to me when we re at Gram s for Christmas, with the whole family there, we might not get much time alone for this. She lifted her shoulders from the bed to bridge the inches between them so she could kiss him. So we should probably get it all out of our system tonight.
Harry chuckled. I learned long ago that there s no arguing with you.
Good now kiss me again.
There were those in the wizarding world who professed that Harry Potter always did what Hermione told him to.
END
There my treat to the smut-lovers out there.
And on that note, I think that covers everything that I can think of. Thanks again for reading!