CASSIAN (tw: mention of self harm, rape)
We sat there in silence for a long time, holding each other in the dark.
Slowly, I shifted my weight, pulling him onto my lap so he was sitting across from me, his legs draped over my thighs.
I cupped his face with both hands, my thumbs gently wiping away the wet tracks of tears from his pale cheeks that didn't stop.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, looking straight into his bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you wanted. Maybe… maybe it would have been better if I never met Noah. Maybe if it was just the two of us, none of us would have had to suffer like this."
Cyan shook his head slowly, reaching up to cover my hand with his. "No. Noah is here. And Noah needs to know that you love him, Cassian."
I frowned, my jaw tightening. "Cyan—"
"No, listen to me," Cyan insisted, his voice gaining a stubborn, weary edge.
