CYAN
The quiet between us turned into a wall.
I sat there on Cassian's lap, my hand still resting against his stubbled jaw, staring into his blue eyes.
The question I had just asked hung in the dark air, bleeding out between us like a open wound.
I knew it was selfish. God, I knew how fucked up it was. I wasn't a good person. I had never claimed to be.
But sitting there, with my mind slowly rotting inside my skull and the dark shadows waiting for me back in my empty bedroom, this felt like my only chance.
The only chance I'd ever get to feel what it was like to have the man I loved actually want me.
Maybe, a sick part of me thought, if he touched me tonight, if he held me like I mattered, I could finally burn out this agonizing crush and move on.
I waited for the blow. I waited for him to pull my hand off his face, to sigh, to give me that gentle, pitying look that always made me want to rip my own skin off.
