'Shù fù.. where are you now? Were you really not a human?'
'How strange. Why does he fit the metaphor shù fu used to tell me?'
'But no. He is..a male. Shù fù might have meant females. Or perhaps I am just again trying to give myself false answers—just as I still hold on to the possibilities with Làncǎi Gōngzǐ..'
The questions echoed softly into Lìngxiāo's mind. He felt his cheek felt warm but showing no emotion.
Then bfore anythng elsewhere, he was brought back to reality.
"A single question..takes you years to answer? I genuinely wonder...how the hell you were made from.." Chóng Fēi mumbled, his eyes—no longer covered by Lìngxiāo's hands but slid down to his cheek without his full awareness.
The work with the needles was long done. His panic gasps came and went, and now his eyes flickered back to bored, impatient curiosity—and a little tiredness too. He was just closely looking at Lìngxiāo, especially at his eyes, as if they looked familiar to him.
The only thing that was new and vibrant about him right now was: that deep flush over his once pale cheeks.
Lìngxiāo's eyes narrowed finally. The glowing white rim of his golden-brown eyes fluttered by this long they had been looking nose to nose. He felt his nerves give a tug of embarrassment and a pulsing feeling of just settling down from experiencing the experience he still couldn't find answers for—answers his heart would believe. It was always the one he would not.
'How long have we been staring at each other? I did not noticed.'
He moved away quickly, getting back to their normal distance. Since the work with the needles was done, he started to take them all out from his legs and arm joint points in skilled, fluid motion—like nothing really happened in his mind.
But his mind quickly drifted back to Chóng Fēi's strange yet serious illness. His dark veins had been slowing getting back to normal. The needle was eaten away by the nerves like a bloodsucker had taken its medicine. But this wasn't enough. He needed more. Bit by bit.
But for now, he was fine.
It would last at least a whole day. And since he was here for a long time, not much requesting work was coming, he could personally take care of him. He couldn't reject any big work either—everyone, of course, had their own struggles and urgency.
But he hoped he wouldn't have too many large tasks that would keep him away from Chóng Fēi for too long—while it wouldn't be right to try to bring the heir out of this town while his father was still watchful and the doses—thirty more needles—were still not done to completely remove the link the ghosts had on him.
So he focused back on the moment with Chóng Fēi and tried to brush away the feelings he felt from the memories and moments. Thankfully, they weren't overwhelmingly close enough to make his nine-tail fox core react just like that again.
It would be even worse timing to be revealed!
"A-apologies. I was then focusing on the healing process more." He explained, avoiding eye contact this time. His tone was a little flatter than earlier.
"But I have asked you something. You couldn't just focus on elsewhere without answering me. 'Three' secrets, remember?" Chóng Fēi pressed, not done with him yet. His expression got back to unreadable.
"I meant.. I was indeed parentless from the start.." Lìngxiāo tried to say truth without saying truth, just to survive this man who wouldn't let go of things easily. "But I was not raised in any orphanage.. it was just some.. people at certain stages of my life."
Chóng Fēi raised an eyebrow. Perhaps he had never heard that a person could be handed to multiple people in this single life.
After a pause, he asked, "Oh, how many?" Then he added like a reminder, "And yeah, this is not included in the three secrets. It's a normal question. But no lying here either."
Lìngxiāo looked up as he started to clean the needles and put them back into his bag. Now how was he supposed to answer this? He only knew one person's name while the unknown remained 'that man,' and one more who had only helped him from afar. It would just raise a thousand questions.
And to feed into Chóng Fēi's ruthless curiosity—which had never been out of this city—was going to crash on him like a tide of sea too.
His eyes shut with hopelessness and helplessness. His head still pounded a little from the sounds he had heard, even in his memory. Not like he have anything more to do with this unexpected moment woth Chóng Fēi.
He just feared of getting exposed by the loudest voice.
'This is getting tough. And now he is adding 'unofficial' parts to the questions while I do not even have answers for the three questions he has.'
He cleared his throat and simply answered this time—half true and half fake again. But mostly truth. "I do not remember. I was young, Gōngzǐ."
"Really? You don't look like someone who easily forgets things." Chóng Fēi said, his chin high with confidence in his words as he added, more sure and flawless now that his trembling was done. "You are speaking to me like I'm just any child demanding toys from my caretaker. It is professional talking too—because you came to work at our call and I need to know your background personally while my zhù fù works for the clan in the background."
Lìngxiāo's smile twitched faintly as he froze for a moment. The needles dropped faint drops of water from washing.
'He really does not have a shortage of reasons to press me. Perhaps he really is now.. suspecting me. But better if he never finds out. He would not be quiet about it. I do not wish to have that same controversy again on this land.'
A small silence filled the room.
Only Chóng Fēi knew what he was about to do—but he did move toward Lìngxiāo on his knees at the bed. His hand was somehow about to fall over that freshly cleaned needle and onto his own hand—perhaps accidentally, or perhaps to shake him back to reality.
He wasn't sure.
Nor was his mind working in that way.
But Lìngxiāo moved away a little sharply, wearing back his professionalism. Besides, he wasn't trusting himself with his twisted hidden identity and the fear of losing control. Who knows if, while still fogged by the memories that never let go of him, he would mirror into the reality where his uncle wasn't there to hide his face and disappear from the window like the last time.
Chóng Fēi froze at his sudden defense against himself. Lìngxiāo could tell—because it was like he was allergic to humans or something, while earlier they had been looking at each other for almost perhaps two minutes, and now he was dodging even accidental touches like blades.
"You act like I am wrong for being thoughtful and trying to be a proper dàoist of the clan." Chóng Fēi said awkwardly but defensively, "Does any noble man make someone high ranked.. like me feel this way..?" He sat properly on the bed, hanging his legs from the bedside.
Lìngxiāo swallowed hard but unnoticed.
All he knew was he needed some space from questions, memories, and this back-to-back confusion that was never-ending.
Then he remembered his bowl had broken. He needed some more things too... perhaps this reason could give him a moment to breathe.
He bowed politely. His soft golden sleeve fluttered open down to his arms fully as he said softly, "You may rest now, Gōngzǐ. Allow me to have some work to do." He turned to leave, a breath of relief about to escape him.
But again—
"Wait.." Chóng Fēi called. He looked bitter, bored, unsatisfied. He stood up, pushing back his striking long lock of grayish-blue hair—which never stayed with the other hair in the ponytail tied with the golden-snake charm.
'What again..?'
Lìngxiāo's eyes shut faintly before opening. His hand hadn't even properly curved over the handle of the door nor had the relieved breath left him. He turned slowly, keeping his movements respectful and distant.
Chóng Fēi stood in front of him, one hand now on his own waist, the other still tangled in his bangs. "I don't 'allow' you to leave unless I wish—even if I take a break for the remaining two questions.."