Chapter 3
Main Story line (Meika's perspective)
I don't know how long I was asleep, but when I started gaining awareness, I felt stiff everywhere. It was like I had run a marathon without ever stretching once, and not having any water through the entire race. I felt bandages on my face, and other places all over my body. I wanted to open my eyes, but it felt like they were welded closed, they wouldn't open no matter what. I somehow did manage to lift my hand even if just a little. I felt the blanket tugging on my hand, stopping me from moving it any further. After a while, I managed to crack my eyes open slightly, and when I did, a flood of light practically attacked me. I immediately closed them, scrunching my face in discomfort, which was a mistake. My face felt sore, which was weird. Why would my face be sore..? Then again, I did get ruthlessly attacked by a group of jealous girls, so I should expect anything and everything. I opened my eyes once more, willing to endure the light for a second. Luckily, my eyes adjusted quickly. I looked around the room, trying to see if I was in a place known to me. It was, thankfully, but I could see by the cabinets, and surrounding beds that I was in the room for patients who needed more attention than others... Huh, looks like those girls did more damage than I thought they could... I thought to myself. That was when I heard the shoji doors open. I looked over to where I heard the doors, and saw Mr. Shinazugawa standing there, staring at me in shock. I blinked slowly, still half asleep, and tore my eyes away from him to continue surveying the room. He immediately darted across the room, and to my side. I paid him no mind, I was only trying to just breathe without hurting.
"You're awake! I- You- when did- do you need anything, water maybe?" He asked me, his words practically one.
I turned my attention back to him when he asked if I needed water. "What I need, is Ms. Kocho, a doctor... Not some Hashira who knows nothing about my condition..." I told him in a raspy voice barely over a whisper... My voice was that way because I hadn't used my voice in Buddha knows how long, and I needed water... Maybe I shouldn't have been so rude, he's only trying to help me... and I really do need water... UGH!! I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!!! Was Buddha drunk when he made me or something? Because I am truly messed up.
He nodded his head, and stood up. "Yeah, you're right, I should get Shinobu... Just.. Just stay here for now"
I sighed and shook my head. "What else am I supposed to do?" I mumbled sarcastically, more to myself than anyone. I was glad Mr. Shinazugawa hadn't heard me, because I had decided then that I was being too mean to him, he was truly only trying to help me... And he could do nothing to calm his feelings while under the spell of the love potion, so I decided then, that I would keep my stupid mouth shut. I turned my head, finally acknowledging the chair that was positioned right next to the bed I was laying in. I immediately felt horrible, only being able to imagine how worried he was, and how many nights sleep he lost because of that darned chair. Stupid fucking chair... I had to spend a night in one, I can't imagine somebody doing it more than that. Oh, poor Mr. Shinazugawa... I feel so bad for worrying him. I should've fought back against those girls, or tried to run at least... Damn it! I am so fucking stupid! I truly can't believe myself, I should've fought back, even if Mr. Shinazugawa wasn't in the picture..! I thought as I shamed myself. I hadn't even realized what I was thinking, and before I could process my own thoughts, Ms. Kocho walked in, with Mr. Shinazugawa following close behind her.
I don't want to bore you with the details of my checkup, so here's a summary. I couldn't ask a single question, because Mr. Shinazugawa was constantly pestering Ms. Kocho about my condition, asking if I'd be okay, when I would be better, if I would have to quit the corps... Stupid stuff like that. I stopped trying to ask anything when he cut me off the fifth time, and just stared at the ceiling. Mr. Shinazugawa just continued asking questions, it was almost as if I wasn't there! After some time, Ms. Kocho finally concluded that I would be better in no time... that was if Mr. Shinazugawa would let me get rest. That was what shut him up. I was thankful for the silence that followed Ms. Kocho's statement, because, quite frankly, Mr. Shinazugawa was giving me a headache. Ms. Kocho left soon after, leaving me and Mr. Shinazugawa alone. I half expected him to start bombarding me with questions about how I was feeling, but he didn't. He just sat in the chair I'd imagined he'd been in the past few days, or for however long I was asleep. I instantly felt a wave of guilt wash over me as I saw Mr. Shinazugawa staring off into space. I didn't know how I might be able to apologize, because I didn't know how to start a conversation with him. The air in the room felt so... heavy, and awkward... I decided to just leave it alone, and try to fall back asleep.
Spoiler alert: I couldn't fall back asleep. The guilt was eating away at me, but that only made me want to stay quiet even more. Mr. Shinazugawa didn't know that I was still awake, he thought that I had fallen asleep. I could tell because he was playing with the ends of my hair, —which was sprawled across the mattress around my head— his fingers gentle. Although I couldn't see his face, I could tell that he was hesitant. It was like he was scared that any sudden movement would break me. I could feel my heart melting as he fiddled with the ends of my hair. I wanted oh so bad to open my eyes and apologize to him. I knew he'd feel bad for keeping me awake so I decided against it. That's when I smelled something sweet, like cake. I noticed it coming from my left side, where Mr. Shianzugawa was playing with my hair. I suddenly remembered that scent, it was the same one I smelt when I got saved from those girls. I finally understood why I'd heard somebody yelling... It was the Wind Hashira!
He suddenly stood up, and left the room. I didn't know why, but I felt relieved, finally being able to "wake up." I opened my eyes, and tried to lift my upper body into a sitting position, but it was no use. It felt like I was chained to the bed, or like I had weights pushing my body down. Even still, I forced my body up, —taking more effort than it should've— propping myself up against the backboard of the bed. It felt better to be sitting, because laying down felt horrible for some reason.
Mr. Shinazugawa had only been gone for a little over a minute when he returned. When he saw that I was awake, he smiled at me softly. He walked back over to the chair he'd most likely been in for a while, and sat down. "How are you feeling?" He asked me with a worried, yet soft tone.
"I'm fine..." I mumbled just loud enough to where he could hear me. I wondered if I should apologize... I mean, he seemed ok... It didn't look like he needed an apology. But that's how everyone was. I turned my eyes to him, and spoke low. "Listen... I wanted to say that I'm sorry... You shouldn't have had to suffer because of my stupidity, I should've done something whilst they were attacking me... I should've fought back, or even ran away..."
He fell silent for longer that I would've wished, and when he finally spoke, what he said shocked me. "Yeah, I shouldn't have had to... But, I did, and I did because I care about you... there's nothing I can do to help that, so I guess I'll just have to suffer because you're stupid..."
He... He just called me stupid!! I mean... I was stupid, but he said because I am stupid! I guess it doesn't matter, I deserve it... but at least he seems better now... I nodded, and turned my head to the right, where there was a window. I decided to busy myself with counting the clouds in the sky, because I didn't want to have to spend more time sitting in an uncomfortable silence with Mr. Shinazugawa. The rest of the day was quiet, peaceful almost. Mr. Shinazugawa only asked me a few simple questions throughout the entirety of the day, but I mostly pretended to be asleep for his words... I couldn't just chat with him normally after everything that happened!
That night, he got called on a mission. There was supposedly one of the twelve Kizuki spotted, so he and a few other hashira had been called on the mission, Ms. Kocho included. He left, only after telling me what had to be a million times that he would come back unscathed, "For your sake." He had told me. Then, he left. It was dark by the time that had happened, so I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. That night, I had another nightmare... it wasn't like any of my other ones... it was something far worse...
I had just woken up, and I looked around the room. It was darker than it should've been. There was no clouds in the sky, no moon, and no stars... it was just a black empty space that filled my vision when I gazed out of the window. I felt fine, weightless even, so I stood up. I walked over to where a lamp sat on a low table. I lit it, and turned around. I froze, and felt the blood drain from my face. The only thing that sat on the ground was a pile of dark maroon liquid, and a note that told me to 'find a mirror.' I immediately ran to the one in the corner of the room, and what I saw horrified me. My body was completely mutilated, my stomach was torn up, my intestines spilling out. My left arm had a bone sticking out, and I had blood dripping from my forehead. I immediately turned away from the mirror, and looked down at my self to check if I was seeing things. There was nothing out of the ordinary when I looked at myself through my own eyes, I looked just as I always had... My stomach was completely intact, my arm was correctly in place, and my face didn't have any blood when I lifted my hand to check it. I ran out of the room to try and find somebody, anybody to help me... I turned a corner, and almost fell over. I had ran straight into Mr. Shinazugawa!! He was holding a knife, with blood splattered all over his face and clothes, the majority of it on his hands. I took a step back, and looked up at his face. His eyes looked disgusted, and his face tipped down to look at me. "Oh... Why aren't you dead yet..? I was sure that would've killed you by now..." I took another step back, and another, and another. I then turned around, and started running raster than I ever had ran in my life. I couldn't hear him chasing after me, so I quietly hid in a room... Turns out the room was Ms. Kocho's office. I started tearing up, and hid my face in my hands. She stood up and walked over to me, the only sound in the room was her feet against the wooden floorboards. She stopped in front of me and I heard her clothes rustling as she lifted her arms. I then felt something hit the top of my head and heard this terrifying squelching sound. I took my hands away from my face and looked up at her. She was smiling at me, but deep within her eyes, I could see disgust and hatred. I felt a warm liquid thicker than water roll down my forehead. I lifted my hand, and touched my fingers to it. I brought my hand back down, and saw blood... She had stabbed me right in the head... One of the very few people I trusted stabbed me... I brought my hand back up, and patted around on the top of my head, before finding where the knife lay implanted in my head. I grabbed the handle, and didn't hesitate before yanking it out.
It was then that I shot awake. I didn't do anything, didn't look around, didn't cry, didn't breathe... for a while at least... I just sat there, completely silent, unmoving. When I decided to process what that dream was, I finally broke down. I curled up in a ball, and silently cried myself back to sleep... The next morning when I woke up, the room was empty, besides me of course. It was too quiet, it wasn't eerie, just... lonely... I sat up, and threw the blanket off of myself. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and sat there for a little. I looked around the room, and saw a mirror in the corner. I quickly looked away, images of my mangled body, dripping in blood filled my mind no matter how much I tried to rid myself of them.
The rest of the day, I laid in bed. Aoi came in a few times, to bring me food, and she kept on commenting on how quiet I was. She also kept on saying I looked like I had seen a ghost, which I probably had... In my dream, of course. I never gave her an answer, I just ate the food, and slept... Tried to sleep at least... I couldn't do it, every time I closed my eyes, all I saw were the images of myself in the mirror, Mr. Shinazugawa with a knife, and Ms. Kocho looking down at me as I pulled the knife out of my head. The process happened over the next few days, and every night, I kept on having that same dream, over and over and over again... Why is this happening..? Is it a premonition..? Because my nightmares never repeat... What if it's their real feelings for me being reflected in my mind because I'm so clueless to how they actually felt..? What if the love potion wasn't a potion at all, and they're just playing the sickest joke on me, seeing how long it'll take for me to 'reciprocate' so they could pummel me with insults..?! Okay, I need to stop thinking too much about this before I start imagining how they'll murder me... I thought to myself.
After around five days had passed, Mr. Shinazugawa burst into the room, dripping in blood. He practically ran over to me, and stopped when he could grab my hand. "Why did the little brat say you look like you'd seen a ghost?? Nothing happened while I was on my mission... right? If those girls came back, I swear I will tear their throats out and shove them so far up their asses they will-"
"I'm fine..! It wasn't those girls..." I said, not sitting up to face him. I stayed with my back to him, not being able to handle his shit right now. I went back to my silence, waiting for him to get the hint that I still needed to be alone. He didn't of course. He just sat down in the chair next to my bed, and waited for me to finally look at him. I gave up after a while, not liking the tension in the air... I sat up, and turned toward him... He had passed out. His head hung forward his shoulders rising and falling softly as the blood on his forehead dried. I reached out a hand and poked him softly. He hadn't jolted awake like I thought he would, he only sat there, slumped down in a chair by my side when he should be laying in a bed himself. I sighed, and grabbed his shoulder. I shook him slightly. "Mr. Shinazugawa..? I think you should go lay down in a bed, you might not get better if you're sitting in that chair..." His eyes opened, and he blinked a few times, lifting his head up. He smiled at me, and stood up. "Fine then, I'll lay down in a bed." Before I could even put two and two together, he had laid down next to me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. He knew what I was going to do, so he spoke before I did. "Allow it, just this once, it'll help me get better..." I sighed, and responded. "Just this once, and you'd better be in a different bed by the time dinner comes around..." He just pulled me closer, and held me against his chest as a response. I felt uncomfortable at first, but his warmth and scent were calming, and they felt safe. I fell asleep after not too long. I didn't wake up again until the next morning.
That night, I didn't have any nightmares, which was quite a relief. I started noticing a pattern though... Whenever I was with Mr. Shinazugawa, I never had nightmares, not once while he was by my side did I ever even have the smallest bad thought while I slept. It was better when he held me. His warmth would soothe my tense muscles, and calm my mind. His scent also helped, the sweetness of it made me feel like I was younger, made me feel more carefree...
When I woke up, Mr. Shinazugawa was still holding me in his arms. His grip was warm and comfortable, I almost didn't want to move... almost. I carefully unlatched his hands, which were balled together against my stomach, and removed his arms from me. I sat up, and pushed him away from me and onto the edge of the bed... He didn't wake up... I don't know how he didn't wake up, but then again he did just get back from almost dying. I swung my legs over the side of the bed after removing my blanket, and sat there for a little. I was wondering how Ms. Kocho was doing, she had been on the same mission as him after all... So I placed my feet on the ground and stood up.
I looked down at myself and noticed there was some animal hair on my pant legs. I furrowed my brows in confusion, and turned around back towards the bed. I lifted the blanket and almost laughed when I saw a small white bunny laying there in a ball. I reached out, and grabbed it. It's ears perked up, and its head turned in my direction. I was surprised when it didn't jump out of my arms but pleased at the same time. Awww!! The bunny is so adorable!!! I wonder where it came from..? Did Aoi leave it in here..? One of the butterfly triplets..? Or maybe even Mr. Shinazugawa..? Ehh, I don't care, he's so cute... Wait, it is a boy or a girl?? Oh my Buddha, I think I misgendered the bunny! I turned the bunny over, but I still couldn't tell. It didn't really matter though, I could just give it a gender neutral name! I think I'll name you.... I placed the bunny right side up in my arms as I thought. Mizuki... Yes, Mizuki will be your name!
I held Mizuki in my arms as I made my way to the door. I opened it, and stepped out into the hall. I started wandering, trying to find Aoi or anyone who might know where Ms. Kocho is. Then I saw Aoi carrying some dishes while walking towards the kitchen. I ran over to her, and stopped when I was at her side. "Good morning, Aoi!"
She smiled at me, and nodded once. "Yes, good morning, Meika. How did you sleep..?" She said, looking like she was holding in a laugh.
"I slept fine, thank you..? Why do you ask?" I questioned. She tried to push down her smile, but failed miserably.
"Well, seems you had quite the heater next to you." She giggled, still trying to hold it in. I sighed, and shook my head, knowing she was talking about Mr. Shinazugawa.
"Shut up... He refused to go to any other bed... But anyways, do you know whether Ms. Kocho had returned or not..? And if she did, how is she feeling..?" She shrugged.
"She did return, and she seems fine, but you know how she is... She always seems fine." I smiled at her, happy to know that Ms. Kocho was back.
"Okay, thank you, Aoi!" I said, waving before going towards Ms. Kocho's office. I stopped at the door, and knocked lightly. "Ms. Kocho, are you in there? I just heard that you returned, and I decided to come check on you." I said, and I heard some shuffling before the door cracked open. I slowly looked up to see someone with deep, ocean blue eyes, and dark black hair...