Dark. That's what I feel.
Darkness is born from a lack of light. To see nothing means it is too dark. But to feel darkness does not mean to feel nothing. It means to feel empty, scared, alone.
There's no problem with my sight, for I have none. There's no problem with my sense of touch, for I don't have that either
I'd say that I don't have a body, but that would be a lie, because I can move. I can move, but I'm too scared to try.
This is what it means to feel dark. I feel fear, loneliness, unease, and discomfort. It hurts, but I can't tell where the pain comes from. I am, but I can't feel. I exist, but I'm nowhere. Disconnected from this world, I could be in a void, or lying on the ground; I couldn't tell the difference.
I've been here time and time again, but I don't know where 'here' is. All I know is that I've failed once again.
I try to stretch my hand, but the unknown scares me, so I curl myself into a ball as much as I can. I know the moves I need to go through, but I don't know if I managed to do anything. I wonder what I look like from the outside, if there even is an 'outside.'
It hurts. I don't know what exactly, but it feels like something is rotting. I feel old, like I have been here since before time existed. I feel cold, as if every atom froze in place.
Something is here, or is it someone? I can't tell. There are many, and they want something from me. I wonder what they look like. How do they feel? I can feel their presence, but I can't feel them.
I want to encourage myself. I want to think they're friendly. Maybe if I speak, they will answer.
Help
I spoke, but I don't know if anything came out. I can't hear, so why would I be able to speak? Is this how it feels to be a corpse?
If I am a corpse, why am I conscious? Why am I not dead?
I want answers, but I have none. I try to search for anything in my memory, but I have no memories. I am here, but I don't know why. I am here again, but I don't know when I was here last.
This is not enough.
Again
I can hear my thoughts.
Again
What does 'again' mean?
Again
I want to try again, but I don't know what to try.
Again
Why?
Again
What?
Again
Stop!
Again
Again?
Again
How?
Again
So I try again.
