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Lin Feng noticed the anomaly on the menu long before Yu Xiaogang did.
The moment that single, massive, disdainful character — SCRAM — appeared on the page…
He shot upright from his reclining position.
The sudden movement caused the soft "head-cushion waves" behind him to jolt forward.
Zhu Zhuyun, who was delicately massaging his temples, let out an involuntary soft moan.
"M–Master?"
Her cheeks flushed crimson.
She instinctively moved closer, wanting to ask what startled him.
But Lin Feng paid her no mind.
His previously lazy, half-lidded eyes were now wide open, locked firmly onto the menu in Yu Xiaogang's hands.
The Zhu sisters followed his gaze.
Their expressions froze.
"This… the menu… cursed?"
Lin Feng's scalp tingled.
Dog system! Get out here! Why can my damn menu swear now?!
The system responded in its usual smug, mocking tone:
"Oh, is that not obvious?
The recipes in this system possess sentience."
"It sensed Yu Xiaogang's essence — a man who claims to be a level 29 'Grandmaster'—"
"Yet whose actual combat power is worse than a rookie who just got their first spirit ring."
"And most importantly—"
The system paused.
Then delivered the killing blow:
"His two Spirit Abilities… are literally farts."
"The recipes felt personally insulted. Their dignity was violated. Their souls traumatized. So they told him to scram. Logical, right?"
Lin Feng was stunned speechless.
No way… this Yu Xiaogang is THAT garbage?
Not even as good as a one-ring kid…?
If he had known that earlier, he would've let Qian Daoliu finish him off and personally feed his corpse to the moat fish!
At this point, Yu Xiaogang finally noticed the character.
His face twisted.
"What… what is the meaning of this?!"
Lin Feng leaned back leisurely into the "soft cushion," but this time the amusement in his gaze was naked.
His voice dripped mockery.
"It means you're too weak. Even my menu hates you."
"You have level 29 spirit power, yet you're weaker than a one-ring Spirit Master. A good-for-nothing like you isn't worthy of eating the food I cook."
(Author's note: Theoretically, Yu Xiaogang might break even with level 9 Wang Sheng.)
The girls were stunned for half a second—
Then burst into uproarious laughter.
"Pfft—!! Level 29 but below a one-ring rookie?! This is beyond trash!"
"Gods, I always thought 'good-for-nothing' was just an expression, but today we have met the literal embodiment!"
Lin Feng continued mercilessly:
"And your Spirit Abilities are farts."
"My menu being touched by you is the dirtiest stain in its entire existence."
The girls' laughter abruptly died.
Their faces twisted from amusement…
To disgust.
To revulsion.
To the brink of nausea.
Lin Feng ordered coldly:
"Go. Retrieve my menu. Then disinfect it a hundred times."
Whoosh—!
The Zhu sisters turned their heads in perfect unison toward Hu Liena.
Their eyes said:
Nana, you're the chief steward. Go ahead.
Hu Liena's face instantly collapsed.
She trembled.
She didn't want to get anywhere near a man whose martial spirit could literally fart.
But the boss had spoken.
Pinching her nose, she began inching toward Yu Xiaogang with the cautiousness of someone approaching a biological contamination facility.
Yu Xiaogang Loses His Mind
He finally snapped out of his humiliation-induced coma.
"You… you dare insult me like this?!"
His eyes turned bloodshot.
His breathing sharp.
A bull ready to charge.
"Today, I'll teach you a lesson—! In the name of Bibi Dong!!"
Before Lin Feng could respond—
Yu Xiaogang hurled the menu like a hidden weapon.
Hu Liena let out a gasp and darted forward, catching it just before it hit the ground.
But when she stood up—
A horrifying sight appeared in front of her.
A purple creature.
Neither dog nor pig.
Fat. Disturbingly round.
And currently aiming its backside directly at her.
"First Spirit Ability—!"
Yu Xiaogang roared,
"Heaven-Shaking Luo San Pao!!!"
The first spirit ring lit up—
Luo San Pao puffed its belly, its buttocks aimed squarely at Hu Liena.
It was about to fire—
The Ultimate Fart Bomb.
Hu Liena froze.
There are moments even a Titled Douluo would question life.
She felt them now.
This wasn't about damage.
This wasn't about danger.
This was about psychological trauma.
This was equivalent to:
A pipe spraying harmless water at you…
Except you know on the other end is a septic tank truck.
No sane person could handle it.
Her soul almost departed her body.
Just then—
Two shadows streaked past.
The Zhu sisters moved.
Sister Combo: Anti-Fart Formation
Zhu Zhuqing appeared behind Luo San Pao.
Her right leg arced gracefully.
SLAP—!!
Her foot landed perfectly on the creature's "exit."
"EEE—!!"
Luo San Pao shrieked like a dying pig.
Its fart bomb was forced back inside.
At the same time—
Zhu Zhuyun struck Yu Xiaogang's lower body like lightning.
CRACK—!!!
Her groin kick landed flawlessly.
"G—GHHH—!!"
Yu Xiaogang's eyes bulged.
His face turned purple.
He curled like a boiled shrimp in pure agony.
The sisters grabbed the beast and its master—
—and booted them out of Feng Ran Pavilion in perfect synchronization.
Lin Feng flicked his wrist.
The door slammed shut instantly, sealing the interior completely.
Half a second later—
BOOOOOM—!!!
A muffled explosion shook the doorway.
Followed by—
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT—!!!!
A long, reverberating blast of pure doom.
Yellow smoke seeped through the cracks.
Inside the shop, the girls' scalps tingled.
Outside—
A man's horrified retching echoed:
"ULGH—!!!"
"Who the hell—WHO THE HELL DARES TO POOP IN FRONT OF SENIOR'S SHOP?!"
"Ughhh—!! The smell—this smell is TOXIC!!!"
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