Mira hadn't even processed what was happening when Shane vanished from her side.
She instinctively looked up—and froze.
The guy who'd been watching the show with her a second ago was now trailing right behind the orange-haired man walking toward the guild, wearing a mischievous grin like a kid about to pull a prank.
Sensing the "tail" behind him, Gildarts stopped and turned, puzzled.
"Hm? Shane."
He scratched his stubble, baffled.
"You finished that S-rank job already? Also… why are you sticking to my ass like that?"
"Nothing." Shane snickered. "I just have a feeling something good's about to happen, so I wanted a front-row seat."
"Something good?"
Gildarts looked completely lost. His gaze slid past Shane and landed on Mira, who was staring this way.
The moment he noticed the silver-haired girl, his eyes lit up and his trademark not-so-serious grin appeared.
"Oho? And who's this cute young lady I've never seen before… Don't tell me she's Shane's new—"
Before the words "girlfriend" could come out, Shane cut in flatly, deadpan.
"She's a new recruit. Just joined."
"Oh, is that all…"
Gildarts shrugged, feigning disappointment, then laughed brightly.
"Guild's getting livelier by the day. Nice, nice."
Meanwhile, Mira was staring at Gildarts's signature orange pompadour, frowning harder the longer she looked. It felt familiar.
Then a spark hit.
"Wait!"
She shot her finger at him, voice jumping up several pitches.
"Y-you're the guy who just destroyed that street earlier! Why are you here?!"
As she spoke, her eyes widened in disbelief.
"Don't tell me… you're Fairy Tail too?!"
"Huh? Of course I'm Fairy Tail. Why?"
And then his brain finally caught up.
Gildarts stiffened. Slowly, he repeated her words like they didn't make sense.
"Wait… you're saying I destroyed a street again?"
He pointed at himself, then weakly gestured behind him at the scuffed, messy road.
Memory fragments clicked into place.
"…Ah."
Cold sweat instantly poured down his face.
He turned stiffly—and met Shane's eyes, which were absolutely waiting for this, full of wicked delight.
"You little punk… don't tell me the 'good thing' you meant was—"
Gildarts's mouth twitched. A horrible premonition bloomed.
Before he could figure out how to clamp a hand over Shane's mouth—
Shane sucked in a deep breath and yelled into the guild at full volume:
"MASTERRR—!! GILDARTS TRASHED THE STREET AGAIN—!!"
It was loud, clear, and catastrophically penetrating. The whole guild heard it.
Mira, meanwhile, latched onto one specific word.
"Again…?"
She stared blankly at the two of them.
So the street destruction really was a "natural phenomenon"…?
And it had happened more than once?!
The tiny bit of curiosity and hope she'd started to feel about this guild instantly curdled into deep self-doubt.
Did we just join some kind of criminal den? What the hell did Shane trick us into?!
And as if the universe wanted to pile on—
Right after Shane's shout, several city hall workers in uniforms burst through the door.
The one in front looked seconds away from a meltdown. He was waving a ridiculously long bill and stormed straight to the bar, slapping it down in front of Makarov.
"MASTER MAKAROV!!"
Spit practically flew.
"How many times is this now?! HUH?!"
"Every other day it's shops and streets getting wrecked! Do your people not watch where they're walking?! Are the citizens supposed to just accept living like this?!"
"Can you not control that bastard Gildarts?!"
"Uh… well… ha ha…"
The old man who'd been sipping happily a moment ago instantly lost all dignity. No Saint Wizard aura, no authority—just a kid caught misbehaving.
He hunched his shoulders, bowing over and over with an ashamed grin.
"Y-yes, yes… I'm truly sorry! We've caused you trouble! I'll discipline him strictly! Strictly, I promise!"
After a lot of groveling and repeated "It will never happen again," he finally managed to send the furious workers away.
The second they left, Makarov's smile vanished.
"Bzzzt—"
He crushed the bill in his fist. Magic surged.
A terrifying golden aura blasted upward—
And Makarov expanded, instantly becoming a towering giant whose head nearly punched through the guild roof.
"GIL! DARTS!!"
The roar shook the entire building. Dust rained from the ceiling.
Gildarts took one look at that and tried to grease his way out the door.
But—unfortunately for him—
A certain someone stepped perfectly into his escape route.
"Move! Move—!" Gildarts hissed.
"Aw, don't rush off," Shane said sweetly, smiling as he braced one hand against the doorframe, blocking it completely.
Gildarts had taught him a life lesson once:
"Running away is embarrassing, but useful."
Today, Shane was applying that lesson to the teacher.
"You little—"
Before Gildarts could finish, a massive hand dropped from above.
"You promised me you wouldn't do it again, didn't you?! HMM?!"
Makarov grabbed him like a chick in a fist and leaned that enormous furious face in close, eyes blazing.
Watching the kind old man turn into a raging colossus in one second, Mira stood in the doorway completely stunned.
"…What is even happening?"
Her brain was buffering.
"This guild… from the kids to the adults—even the master—everyone just acts like this?!"
Crushed in the giant's grip, Gildarts sweat-smiled desperately.
"Uh… Master, listen—"
"I just spaced out while walking… got a little lost… and then somehow it became that…"
"Lost?! 'Somehow'?!"
Makarov didn't buy a syllable.
BAM!!
He planted Gildarts head-first into the ground like a damn carrot.
Then, still not satisfied, he grabbed a pile of tables and chairs and dumped them on top of the legs sticking out, building a "furniture mountain."
"…Is that… really okay?" Mira whispered, horrified. "That looks worse than what I did…"
"Relax. Master knows his limits."
Shane waved it off calmly.
"Gildarts is the strongest mage in the guild. This is basically nothing."
"The strongest?"
Mira stared at the legs twitching under the table pile.
"That sloppy uncle… is the strongest…?"
"Shouldn't the master be the strongest? He's a Saint Wizard, right?"
"And—does that mean this guy is a Saint Wizard too?"
Even in her remote village, she'd heard of the Ten Wizard Saints—ten mages so powerful they could change the world.
"Huh? I didn't tell you?"
Shane looked at her like she was the weird one.
"There's only one Saint Wizard in the guild. The old man."
Mira's mouth twitched.
"N-no! That makes it even stranger!!"
She couldn't help blurting it out.
"Why is the Saint Wizard master weaker than that sloppy uncle?!"
"That's because…" Shane answered lazily, eyes still fixed on the spectacle, "Gildarts is stronger."
Completely useless explanation.
Over there, Makarov finally shrank back down into his usual small body—still steaming with rage.
He stared at the endless string of numbers on the bill, took a deep breath, and decided to solve the problem permanently.
"ANYWAY! First, pay this bill!"
He jumped onto a table and shouted toward the muffled groaning from the ground.
"And you! Empty your wallet! You're beyond teaching—I'm done talking to you!"
"I'm going to use your money to apply for a city project and build Magnolia a dedicated 'Gildarts Mode'!"
"Next time you come back, the whole city will automatically reconfigure itself to move the roads out of your way, so you don't destroy anything with your 'I only walk in straight lines' idiotism!"
"…."
Dead silence from under the pile. Gildarts was probably trying to play dead.
BAM!
Makarov slapped the table away, yanked the dusty Gildarts out again, and glared.
"Did you hear me?!"
"I-I heard…" Gildarts choked out, mournfully. "At least leave me enough money to drink!"
"NOPE!" Makarov snapped.
Then, still in a foul mood, the old man spun around, eyes sharp, scanning the room—
"And YOU! SHANE!"
Makarov jabbed a finger at Shane.
"You still owe the guild over ten million! What are you doing standing here enjoying yourself?!"
"Get your ass to work and pay it back!!"
"I just got back!" Shane protested, hands out. "I'm not the one who caused trouble! I'm just watching—"
Makarov launched right into a furious roll call, chewing out everyone who'd been fighting and wrecking things.
Lisanna and Elfman, standing behind Mira, went pale and started shaking. In their eyes, Makarov was a hundred times scarier than demon-mode Mira.
They edged back instinctively.
That was when Makarov noticed them.
"Uh—"
His face flickered.
Crap. He'd forgotten the new kids were here.
The man did a full stage-actor reset—like a slapstick magic trick—forcing a warm, kindly smile onto his face.
"Ahaha… don't be scared, kids."
"This is just… a little… guild… uh… joke."
He tried to sound gentle.
"We're usually… very harmonious. Really. Not like this."
Mira, Lisanna, and Elfman looked at:
the "sloppy uncle" who'd been planted into the floor,
Shane getting yelled at for debt,
and the crowd of mages being scolded like naughty toddlers—
They exchanged one glance.
Then all three shook their heads hard in unison.
Nice try.
~~~
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