My days after that took a drastic change. From grades three to six, Kevin and I, along with the rest of the group, would walk home together and hang out.
Hoshino could never join us since his Mom would pick him up and bring him to his family's restaurant to help out. Despite that, he never failed to wear that contagious smile of his.
Starting in middle school, however, he was finally allowed to join us on our walks home. Every day after school, we would go to the same park and play basketball.
He and I were always on the same team. And we always lost, no matter how many times we did a rematch. Even so, despite being a sore loser, he always did so while laughing brightly.
Those days were so peaceful for me. For the first time in my life, I wasn't a "New Kid." I was part of something I thought would last forever.
Then came the second-to-last day of eighth grade.
"What?! What do you mean you're moving?! Why can't you just stay?!" Hoshino screamed in the cafeteria, drawing everyone's attention. But he didn't react in the slightest as he looked me directly in the eyes.
For the first time since I've known him, the light in his eyes had gone out. He wasn't smiling.
And for the first time in my life, I couldn't just laugh it off and continue being unconditionally happy.
Faint tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. Seeing that... made my heart ache.
I knew it couldn't have been helped—my parents' jobs were never stable in one place—but the guilt was a heavy, suffocating weight in my chest.
Throughout the entire conversation, I struggled to keep my voice steady. But that wasn't the hardest part.
The hardest part was forcing myself not to look at him, even during our final moments together. I couldn't bear to see him cry.
By the time I finished explaining, tears were streaming down his face. He buried himself at the cafeteria table, his shoulders shaking with muffled sniffles.
I tried reaching out to him, but my hand froze mid-air. It wasn't because I was scared; I just thought that comfort coming from the person causing the pain would only make it worse. So despite how badly I wanted to, I pulled my hand back and kept my gaze lowered to my lap.
"Hoshino, stop crying," Kevin said. His voice was usually rough and abrasive, but just this once, it sounded... tender. "It's not like Yu is dying or anything. We can still hang out even after he leaves."
The rest of that day passed in a tense silence. Hoshino didn't speak. Kevin didn't speak. And neither did I.
***
The next day—the last day of eighth grade—was also my final day before I moved. We spent the whole day playing around and laughing together.
It felt almost forced at first, like we were all pretending nothing was wrong. But slowly, the laughter became real.
Throughout the whole day, Hoshino's smile was somewhat strained. But he never stopped. Even after seeing me off at my house, he gave me a big hug and left cheerfully.
I didn't believe there was such a thing as a "perfect" send-off, but I felt like this was as close to one as I could get.
***
After moving, I rarely saw Kevin. But I still met up with Hoshino occasionally. I'm terrible at making plans. I'm even worse at texting. But Hoshino was persistent.
He'd go out of his way to make the plans and bridge the distance. Every time we met up, it felt like no time had passed at all. We would play basketball, talk about random things, eat junk food, and just enjoy ourselves.
Sadly, those hangouts only lasted until tenth grade. After that, he disappeared.
At first, I assumed he was just busy. High school was a big jump from middle school, so I figured he needed space.
Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. And what was nothing more than an 'off feeling' turned into a heavy anxiety that I couldn't shake off.
I texted Kevin to ask if he knew anything, but apparently, he didn't. I thought it was strange at the time, considering they were best friends, but I didn't have the time to delve deeply into it.
With no other options, I bused to his house unannounced. When I arrived, I wasn't greeted by his family, but by a stranger. Another person was living there. Hoshino had moved and hadn't told me.
I remember wandering the neighbourhood for hours that day, hoping—praying—that I would somehow run into him by coincidence. My head snapped toward every high-pitched, pure laugh that I heard. But no matter how many times I looked in its way, it was never him.
With nothing left to do, I… moved on. Everything passed by in a blur. I finished tenth grade, made new friends, studied, and went through the motions of normal life. But Hoshino never left my thoughts. I thought about him every day. Every night, I prayed for one more chance. Just to see him one more time.
***
Those prayers were answered one day, the day I learned we were moving again. This time, to a new high school starting in grade eleven.
The first day of school came. It took a while, but I managed to find my homeroom. The moment I stepped into the class, everything stopped.
The conversations of the other students, the pressure of a new environment, even the weight of my bag—they all seemed to vanish as memories of the past eight years flashed in my mind.
I had prayed for this moment so many times, I had had this same dream so many times, but I had long since given up hope that it would happen.
I stood frozen, my gaze locked onto one person in the crowded room. He had changed so much. His hair was styled. He wasn't wearing his uniform. But most of all, he was… taller. Nothing like the little shrimp I knew only a few years ago.
For a second, I almost couldn't believe that it was him.
Except… I would never mistake that smile.
That smile undoubtedly belonged to my best friend—my Brother. It was Hoshino.