Hoshino POV:
"Welcome home, Son!"
The first person to welcome me home today was Mom. She had walked all the way from the kitchen to the front door just to greet me with her usual soothing, gentle voice.
It was a complete one-eighty from how she was yesterday. Well, that's just how it is with her. Her sick days only last a day—three at most if it's really bad.
Maybe as a kid, I would have felt relieved. Maybe I would've rushed over and given her a tight hug with tears of relief. But it's such a norm for me now that all I did was give her a quick nod before stepping past her and climbing the stairs.
It may seem rude not to ask how she's doing and that other formal stuff, but both she and I have already repeated that same conversation more times than I could count.
As a parent, she had no choice but to say she was fine with a smile on her face. And as her child, I had no choice but to say "that's good." So there's no point in even asking if I already know what the answers will be.
Anyway, while I didn't do nearly as much as Mei today, I was still out long enough that sweat had begun to dry onto my skin. So I wanted to get into the shower as soon as possible. I grabbed a change of clothes from my room and hopped in.
An hour later, I finally got out. I was in the middle of wiping my hair with a towel when someone suddenly barged into the washroom, grabbed my arm, and yanked me across the hallway into a room.
"It took you long enough! I've been waiting this whole time!"
Of course, the culprit behind all this was none other than my sister.
Lily slammed her bedroom door shut and hurried over to her desk without even giving me the chance to reply or refuse.
Several notebooks were spread across it, overlapping each other, with bright yellow and pink circles highlighting important sections.
Highlighters, pencils, and loose eraser shavings were scattered everywhere. Some of them were even lying on the floor.
It seemed she'd been working hard—even with student council duties and sports day coming up.
While I could sympathize with her, still...
Dragging me out just as I finished taking a shower? How awfully selfish of you.
With a sigh loud enough for her to hear, I walked over to her desk—without even letting my hair dry.
I crossed my arms as I studied her papers carefully. Grey smudges littered the wrinkled—almost torn—pages.
I slowly brought down a finger and pressed it against the surface of one of them. The paper felt... soft, almost furry, as if it had been worn down from constant erasing, writing, then erasing again.
"...Looks like you've been having a hell of a time," I said.
Lily let out a defeated groan and slumped forward, resting her forehead against one of her notebooks.
"I'm not even in the mood to laugh at one of your jokes right now…"
I grabbed one of the practice questions and quickly scanned it. The page was filled with intermediate-level questions, with only one slightly different—but not hard—one at the end.
It shouldn't take her too long to learn—that is, depending on when her test is.
"When's your test?" I asked, getting to the point. "I know you said next week, but when next week?"
"Tuesday," she mumbled.
It was currently Thursday. The test wasn't that soon—but she didn't have as much time as she probably thought she did.
I could probably teach her around two-fifths of the class material, but as the week went on, both of us would only get busier.
My finger twitched as I stared at the practice questions and the piles of papers on her desk.
This is going to be a long day…
I placed the paper back down.
"Get out a new sheet of paper and start doing one of the problems."
"Yes, sir."
She pushed herself off her desk and opened one of the drawers. She pulled out a clean sheet of paper along with a pencil and eraser, then started working.
I waited until she completed the first problem her own way before stepping in. I tried to point out the mistakes she made along with simple 'hacks' to get the problem done with less work.
"So do you get it?" I asked.
Lily stared intently down at the solution I had just walked her through.
"Kinda?" she said somewhat hesitantly, scratching the back of her head.
"What do you kinda get?" I asked, unbothered.
Lily pointed to a section on the page. "I don't get how we derived this formula. And how we used that to make it equal to this."
I nodded patiently and tried to explain it another way. A moment later, her eyes lit up.
"I get it now!"
I put on a proud smile—enough to encourage her, but not enough where she'd be negligent. "Okay, good. Now move on to the next one."
Lily moved on to the next question and solved it without help, which was good.
The third question, however, was a different story. I had to explain it in two different ways before she finally understood.
The remaining two hours passed by like that until we reached the last problem.
"Ugh! I still don't get it!" Lily cried, chucking her pencil onto the desk in irritation.
By this point, I had tried to explain the question in five different ways. My brows creased together as I searched for another option.
"Okay... how about this?"
I explained it again, but she still didn't understand. I thought up another way. Still nothing. I lost count of how many times I rephrased it, but the result never changed.
Whenever I teach my sister, I try not to be anything like Father. I remember when we were kids, Lily—and I—would start crying whenever she got an answer wrong. Not because she cared about the problem... but because she was afraid of getting hit.
Therefore, I tried to be the exact opposite of him. Soft-spoken, patient, and calm.
But by this point, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't losing my temper a little.
The hand that I had been leaning on the desk with had gone numb, but I still tightened my grip as a way to vent my annoyance—causing the wood to creak ever so slightly.
Lily flinched and instantly straightened her posture. She broke eye contact with me and lowered her head, her bangs hiding her face as she clutched the hem of her shirt with trembling hands.
"I-I'm sorry… You don't have to help if you don't want to…" she said in a shaky voice.
Her words ended with a small broken sniffle.
My chest tightened immediately, and I hung my head—unable to bring myself to look at her.
Wow. So much for not being like Father—you prick.
The shame ate at me from the inside, growing more unbearable with each passing second.
At that moment, I just wanted to isolate myself in my room and hide myself from the world—but I couldn't do that here, and especially not when my sister was still hurt.
Because I was still her Older Brother.
I can do whatever I want when this is all over. She's the first priority.
Steeling myself, I turned toward her, but she quickly looked away.
Her lips trembled as she tried to force the rest of her words out.
I let out a slow, calming breath—loud enough for her to hear—and relaxed my entire body.
Then I gently brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her shoulders jolted, but she didn't inch away from me.
"Listen," I said, speaking as sincerely as I could. "I'm going to be honest. Was I annoyed? Yeah. But am I mad at you? No. So don't cry and just look at me."
Lily took a shaky breath before turning toward me. The instant I saw her face, it felt as if a stake had been driven through my heart.
I hope you know—you have no one to blame but yourself.
Tears had streaked through her flushed red cheeks, smudging her face with the makeup she had worked hard to apply that morning.
The stake of guilt twisted and churned in my chest.
This is what you get for being such a terrible Older Brother. But you don't deserve to stand around and do nothing.
I took another slow breath, pushing the irritation and guilt down with it. Then, I put on a small, reassuring smile.
I leaned forward and pulled Lily into an awkward—but sincere hug. The moment I did, her hands wrapped tightly around my back as she buried her face in my shoulder. She didn't sob, but her body trembled as she sniffled quietly.
"I'm sorry for getting annoyed," I murmured. "But that doesn't mean I'm gonna give up. Let's keep trying, and then we'll eat dinner together. Okay?"
Lily gave me a meek nod.
"Okay... then we will continue whenever you're ready."
After clinging to me for a few more seconds, she pulled herself away.
Her cheeks were still red, and her eyes were still glassy, but she wiped the tears away on her own and put on the strongest smile she could manage.
She didn't say anything else. She simply turned back to the problem and began working on it again.
After three more rounds of explanations, she finally understood.
"Oh my god!" she cheered, staring at the solution brightly. "I finally get it!"
Lily jumped out of her seat and gave a small victorious cheer. "I did it, Hoshino! I actually did it!"
I let out a mock—but proud—scoff. "Yes, you did. Good job, I'm proud of you."
Her face lit up instantly. She lunged forward and wrapped herself around my arm.
Normally, I'd pry her off right away—but just this once, I let her have her way.
She can have her moment.
With a loud sigh, I began patting her on the head. She snuggled into my arm, her eyes closed in comfort—and trust.
Before I even realized it, a small grin had slipped out.
You're really so stupid…
We stayed like that for a while—until her stomach growled loudly, completely ruining the mood.
"Ah... I'm hungry."
I let out a disappointed groan.
Yeah, you really are stupid.
After that, we headed downstairs and ate dinner together. Mom and Dad had already eaten, so it was only the two of us.
We talked and laughed about whatever we could think about, almost like any normal siblings would—almost like nothing had happened.
But the guilt was still there. Lingering in the depths of my mind. Piled with others just like it. And forever it will remain.