The once celebratory atmosphere was shattered instantly.
Even though it wasn't my grades on the table, both Big Brother and I froze in our seats. Mom, however, continued moving.
Unlike Dad, Mom opened the envelope calmly, drawing Big Brother's report card out, each crinkle of the paper making us flinch.
She set every page of his report card on the table. She arranged them with such perfection that I could read every page from across the table, even though the words should have been upside down to me. It was almost hypnotic.
"Well then," Mom said, her voice drawing my attention. "Let's take a look at Hoshino's grades, okay?"
Mom slowly traced her finger along each page until it landed on his grades.
A scowl carved into Dad's face instantly. His chest expanded, and something rose up his throat, but he drew a long breath and held it in.
Mom lifted her gaze from the paper to Big Brother. He flinched, and he pulled his hand away from me.
"Tell me, Son… why are your grades like this?" Mom asked, her voice as graceful as ever. Yet, something about it gripped the whole room and wouldn't let go.
I glanced at Big Brother from the corner of my eye. What I saw made my heart stop.
For the first time, Big Brother's smile... dimmed.
Suddenly, Dad slammed his hand on the sheet with the grades, crunched it into a ball, and threw it at Big Brother's face. It was just paper, so it bounced harmlessly off his head. Still, Big Brother flinched on impact, as if he felt the blow.
"50% in math. 55% in science. 47% in language. 43% in geography. 54% in social studies," Dad read each grade in a low, heavy tone, until he reached the last one. His jaw tightened, and he spat through gritted teeth, "and to top it all off, you only got a 63% in physical education?! If you're going to be dumb, at least be athletic! But you can't even do that!"
Dad glared at Big Brother, dark red veins splitting his eyes.
Big Brother kept his head lowered the whole time, his knees trembling under the table.
My chest tightened.
I-I want to help him!
That's what I thought, but my hands remained glued to my lap. It felt like an invisible weight sat on top of them, keeping them pinned.
I shut my eyes, unable to watch him any longer.
I-I'm… such a terrible sister…
Whenever I needed help, Big Brother would come running without a second thought. Whether it was people at school or even our parents, he always tried his best. And yet, when it was him, I couldn't do anything at all.
I'm sorry… Big Brother...!
I'm sorry for being such a coward...!
A calm sigh cut through the room, and everything went silent. Then, a soothing, even voice spoke.
"This isn't good, Son, what kind of Big Brother gets outshined by his little sister?"
...What?
I opened my eyes and turned to the voice. It was Mom. There wasn't a single crease or contortion on her face, unlike Dad. She simply looked... above it all.
Big Brother drew a shuddering breath, fidgeting with his hands under the table.
"W-well, she is in the first grade. Of course it's going to be easier."
My eyes widened as I stared at Big Brother, everything around me except him blurring out.
I knew deep down that what he said was right. Of course, my work was easier than his. I knew he was just saying it to defend himself—I would've done the same in his place.
And yet…
The pain in my chest wouldn't go away. To see Big Brother like this—and for him to undermine my grade… hurt. It hurt a lot.
Mom clicked her tongue, snatching our attention.
"Don't make excuses, Son. Even when you were in her grade, you didn't perform as well as she does now. What do you have to say for yourself now?"
Big Brother hurriedly opened his mouth, but nothing except a stutter came out.
Mom giggled softly, folding her hands on the table.
"See? This is what I mean. How are you supposed to call yourself Lily's Big Brother?"
Big Brother's chest convulsed as a sniffle slipped through his throat.
Mom leaned in closer to him, her voice carrying a slight sharp, unrelenting edge.
"Maybe Lily should be the older sibling, and you should be the little one. What do you say, Little Brother? Learn from your Big Sister, okay~?"
A single tear fell down his cheek, but he wiped it away and glared at Mom with an ugly crease in his brow. It was the only thing he could do to resist.
Mom let out a soft chuckle at the sight of it.
I thought it was done. I hoped that was it—but then she turned to Dad and asked, "So, what about you, dear? Do you have anything to say to our Son?"
Dad didn't even spare Big Brother a glance as he shook his head with a deep sigh. "I have nothing to say to him. He's just a failure. That's all."
The tears, the fidgeting, his trembling knees, everything about Big Brother froze.
Without saying another word, Dad got up from his seat and dragged himself upstairs. Shortly after he disappeared from view, the house shook with a loud *SLAM*.
Once the sound faded, Mom let out a soft breath as she pushed herself up and faced Big Brother one last time.
"You really disappointed me—no, us—today, Son."
Big Brother didn't react.
She paused, staring at his still form before parting her lips and continuing.
"It looks like we will have to be harder on you from now on. Starting tomorrow, you cannot use the computer or play games until you finish studying. Do you understand?"
Big Brother gave Mom a small, blank nod.
A faint, pleased smile crossed Mom's face.
"Good. Well then, good night, you two. Don't stay up too late," she said, the edge in her voice disappearing entirely.
Mom turned around and followed Dad up the stairs. Her figure vanished, leaving Big Brother and me alone at the table.
Now that our parents were gone, everything should have gone back to normal. We should have picked up where we left off, continued playing as we had earlier—but the silence had never been heavier.
I took sneak peeks at Big Brother. His gaze was still fixed forward—on the two seats our parents had occupied moments ago.
His face paled by the second, like something cold was eating him from the inside.
I… should do something now.
Mom and Dad are gone, so I don't need to be scared, right?
With that resolve, I stood up… and climbed the stairs, leaving Big Brother to stare at his grades alone.
A part of me ached. He was always so kind, so pure; he didn't deserve this. It hurt me to see him like this.
And yet, another part of me was… happy. Happy that I'd done better than him. Happy that our parents favored me instead of him. Happy that I wasn't the one shamed.
And that was why…
I'm such a bad sister.
I dug my nails into my palms and climbed the stairs without looking back.
The moment I arrived at my room, I collapsed onto the bed and closed my eyes, trying to put the day behind me.
No one screamed, no one cried, no one hit, and no one got hurt that night. Yet the pain Big Brother carried felt heavier than anything before.
This continued for years to come. Every time, without fail, he was condemned, and I was praised. I thought it would stay that way forever.
But everything changed the year I entered the fifth grade, and Big Brother entered his first year of middle school. The same year he did my hair for the first time.
Big Brother had just finished his first semester, and he brought home a report card. It was the first time one of us would face the review alone.
Which meant that Big Brother would have to fight this battle alone. Yet, he didn't back down or run away.
Instead, as all of us were eating dinner, he threw the familiar beige envelope into the center of the table for all of us to see.