At that moment, I froze, and a deathly silence descended into the car.
I was still driving, my foot still on the gas and my hands still adjusting the steering wheel, but I couldn't feel it at all. Not the resistance of the pedal, nor the turning of the wheel.
The only thing I could feel—was the tendrils of guilt wrapping around me, dragging me down.
Ah. I really can't do it, can I?
I can't be a good Dad.
And I can't change.
I felt my chest tighten as if I was about to laugh—but that laughter died out before it could ever exist as a sound.
Seeing my change in demeanour, my Wife stopped talking. She took a deep breath, composing herself, before speaking.
"Listen, dear. He won't listen to you," she said, her voice almost an alluring whisper, as if she hadn't been yelling only a few moments before. "Why would he? But we know he won't listen to me, either. So…"
My Wife leaned closer and rested a hand against my lap. "We have to work together. Mother and Father. Wife and Husband. We have to do it together if we want to help him—to save him. This way, we can finally do something good for him. Doesn't that sound good?"
Yeah… being able to help my Son did sound good. It was all I ever wanted.
The muscles in my neck tightened, ready to perform a small, obedient nod.
That is—until the static from the voice recorder cleared for just a moment. It was my Son's voice, calling out to the person he'd been spending time with.
"Me–"
But before he could finish saying her name, his voice dissolved back into static.
But that was all it took. That one half-syllable was all it took for the gears in my head to begin turning again.
The road, my guilt, even my Wife—everything faded into the background as I focused on that one syllable.
"Me–"?
He was going to say her name, right?
Why does it sound so–
Before the thought could even finish, a voice I'd heard not too long ago echoed in my ears, reaching me from the past.
"I-is it okay if I come here again, Uncle Su?"
And then my own, right after.
"I already told you, didn't I?! You're welcome anytime, Mei! Even on Sundays!"
Ah. That's right. I could never forget that voice.
It was… Mei's. Hoshino's friend, whom I had talked to when they came over…
And with that came another realization.
My eyes widened, and my breath halted.
Wait… the one he was hanging out with… was Mei?
The realization was so shocking that for a second, I lost my grip on the steering wheel. The car veered off too much to the right—it would've slid off the road entirely if I hadn't strained to haul it back.
My Wife tilted her head in confusion, but she didn't bother mentioning it. She probably thought I'd just hit my breaking point and lost my composure over it. After all—
She didn't know that I knew Mei.
I'd talked to most of my Son's friends before, so I didn't bother to tell her about it. If I'd told her about every time I'd talked to Yu and Luna, there'd be no end to it.
Who would've thought that one day it would work in my favour?
But still…
Hoshino and Mei are… hanging out?
And not just in a group setting, but one-on-one?
Does that mean that they're… dating?
Like... boyfriend and girlfriend?
But if they were, why would they hang out in an alleyway of all places?
Last time I checked, she told me they were only friends because they were in the same group—but weren't too close.
Does that mean she lied?
But… why?
But I couldn't think too deeply about it right now. My Wife was still there, and she was still waiting for my answer. She gently shook my lap, dragging me back to our conversation.
"Honey," she whispered. "I need to hear your answer. Will you work with me? Will you help me help our Son?"
I loosened my pressure on the gas, slowing down the car, and took a deep breath.
My own breathing echoed in my ears, and with it, fragments of my conversation with Mei flashed behind my eyelids.
Yeah… there's no way.
It was suspicious that they hung out in an alleyway. It was suspicious that she lied to me about how close they were. But if there was one thing I was sure about—one thing I knew about her based on the conversation we had—
It was that Mei wasn't a bad girl.
It wasn't because I was good at reading people. I wasn't. I was stupid. I've made terrible decisions. But even past all that—past whatever Mei said or did—I could tell that she was a good kid.
And that was because I was a Dad.
The very least I could do was tell when a kid had a good heart. And she did.
Then, as a Dad, I have no choice…
My mind screamed at me to stop; my leg started tapping uncontrollably; and the pressure in my chest rose until it blocked my throat, holding every word back.
And yet, despite all of that, I still managed to voice my thoughts.
"...No."
At first, my Wife didn't react. She just kept the same graceful, angelic smile. Only then—as my words lingered in the air, did she realize what had just happened.
Her lips slowly dropped down as she stared at me, a blank expression draped over her face. It was as if her facial features had screeched to a halt.
"...What?" she muttered, in pure disbelief. She didn't even seem to be aware it had slipped out of her.
So I said it again. Louder. Clearer. Leaving no room for misunderstandings.
"I said no. I will not be helping you."
My Wife stammered, grasping for words.
"B-b-but… why? Don't you want to redeem yourself? Don't you want to help your kid?"
I brought the car up to exactly the speed limit. Not a kilometer over, not a kilometer under.
"This isn't about that. Even if I ignore that you crossed a few lines, I can acknowledge that you're trying your best in your own way. You do more for our kids than I do. I won't take that away from you."
A relieved smile crossed my Wife's face. "Then–"
"But—just because I acknowledge that doesn't mean I'll do whatever you say. You have your own parenting style, and I have mine."
That smile vanished as quickly as it came, sinking into a dark frown.
"So… you plan on just doing nothing?" She let out a hollow chuckle that trailed into silence.
"I should have seen that coming from you. You can never change. You're not even worth being called a parent."
In the midst of that silence—a loud, obnoxious, yet childish laugh broke out, filling the car.
My Wife remained still, watching me with her brows knit in suspicion. And I—I couldn't stop laughing. For some reason, it was just that funny.
"Why… why are you laughing?" she hissed. "Do you think this is funny or something?"
"No, no." I took a moment to compose myself, suppressing the laughter before I spoke. "It's just…"
The light had turned red. I stopped the car as perfectly as humanly possible, then turned and looked my Wife right in the eyes.
"You've got it all wrong, honey."
*Beep* *Bop*
*Beep* *Bop*
The muffled beep of the crosswalk outside bled into the car, marking every second my Wife spent saying nothing.
Suddenly, the crinkles on her brow deepened.
"What… do you mean?"
The light turned green, signalling that it was time to move forward. Without stalling traffic, I turned my attention back to the road and pressed on the gas.
"Well, it's simple," I said, my attention half on her. "I'm not doing 'nothing,' as you said. I'm just trusting them. I trust that they know what they're doing."
Her lips moved, but no words came out. Only broken stutters.
"Wh-what… the hell are you talking about? Are you even talking about our Son right now?"
I shrugged, as if the answer was obvious. "Well—him too, of course. I've always known he could handle himself, though. And if he makes a mistake, he'll find a way. If not, that's when I'll help."
And I'm sure she would be just as capable. And if she stumbled too—I'll do the same for her.
"B-but—I—you—we—"
My Wife tried to say something, anything. But no matter how hard she tried, all that came out were incomplete, incorrect pieces.
It would have been easy to just drop it right there, but that wouldn't be right. I had to leave no room for misunderstandings—or regret.
"That's enough," I said, my voice calm, but with an unmistakable touch of playfulness. "I won't be changing my mind. And I don't expect you to change yours. But I think you should just drop it. That's all I'll say."
For a moment, my Wife said nothing. But that only lasted a few seconds before she clicked her tongue.
"Tsk. Fine. Do whatever you want—Su."
With that, she shifted her legs toward the door and turned her head to the window. Her whole body leaned into it, getting as far from me as she could get. Ignoring my very existence.
I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt being treated like this. She was my Wife, and I loved her, so of course it stung. It was almost like being spat in the face.
But… I continued the rest of the ride home without another word—and with nothing but a smile on my face.
Because for the first time, I was finally able to do it.