I thought the call would end there, so before things could get too awkward, I prepared a concluding speech.
"Well, it's getting kind of late, so–"
"Wait!"
The rest of the words stopped dead in their tracks. Hearing someone who'd just been speaking so tenderly raise their voice came as a bit of a shock, but I didn't really mind it. It wasn't like I was in a hurry to leave because I wanted to, after all.
"What is it?" I asked. "Is there something else you want to say?"
"Well, it isn't anything important," she murmured, her voice settling back to normal. "It's just… I'd like this to be a secret, if possible."
I didn't ask why—and I didn't need to. Since this was a request from Mei's Mom, I simply respected her wishes at face value. She deserved at least this much.
If I had to guess why, it would be because she didn't want her Daughter to know that she knew about me—much less that she'd made contact. After all, she'd come off as a nosy Mom. Even if I didn't particularly see her that way, I knew I'd feel differently if I found out my own parents had answered a call for me while I was asleep.
I wasn't one hundred percent sure how Mei would take it if she found out, but if I had to guess, I doubted she would care that much. Still, it was better to play it safe.
Furthermore, there might have been another—more personal reason—that Auntie Yae would want it to remain a secret, and I respected that.
"So, if she asks what we talked about—since she's definitely going to see we were talking if she looks at her call history—what do you want me to say?" I asked, getting straight to the point.
There was a slight pause before Auntie Yae responded. "Really? That's all? You're not going to ask me why or anything?"
"Nah," I replied flatly. "It's none of my business."
"...Thank you."
A soft sniffle came from the other end of the mic before she spoke again. "If Mei asks, tell her I was just letting you know she was asleep. Obviously, this call lasted for a while, so she won't believe that that was all we talked about. In that case, just say that we chatted about small things, like how school was going. Is that okay with you?"
Wow. How surprisingly thorough. I guess it runs in the family.
"Yeah. I'll do that. I guess it's going to be our secret, then."
She let out a soft giggle. "Hehe. Yeah, I guess it is."
And with that, there was nothing left to talk about. Thus, it was time to end the call.
I opened my mouth, but for a split second, the words wouldn't come. I pushed harder, but nothing changed, as if something was lodged inside my throat.
For a moment, we sat there in silence. That is—until a yawn came from the other end.
"Oh, sorry about that," she said, her voice trailing off. "But I think I should get back to bed soon. I'm tired."
Does that mean she woke up just to pick up? Why? To prevent disturbing her Daughter's sleep?
For some reason, imagining Auntie Yae doing all this for her Daughter made my chest feel slightly… warm. Like I'd been pricked by something. Even though none of it was directed toward me, I still couldn't shake this feeling.
"Yeah, that's fine," I assured her. "It's getting late for me, too. I think I should head out. Good night, Auntie Yae. Talk to you next time—whenever that is."
She gave me one final laugh. "Yeah. Good night, Hoshino. See you next time."
And that concluded our call. It had only lasted a measly seventeen minutes. And yet, all I could do was stare at the screen even after it went dark.
That call revealed nothing—but a lot at the same time. Maybe if I spent a little longer recalling the conversation while it was still fresh, I could pull more out of it.
Except—I didn't bother to do that.
With a quiet sigh, I turned off my phone and dropped back onto the mattress. I closed my eyes, looping our conversation over and over again in the darkness.
I didn't read into what she was saying—rather, I recalled the talk itself. As if living through it again.
With every passing second, the words gradually faded. That was to be expected. It was impossible for me to remember the whole conversation exactly.
Except—the warm prick didn't fade.
It really was… nice—I guess—talking to you.
I remained like that for a while. Just lying there, completely still, until the voice of Auntie Yae disappeared from my head.
Yae POV
With a quiet breath, I turned off the phone and let the darkness swallow my world whole again.
I waited a few seconds before slowly rising from beneath my covers.
It took a moment, but my eyes gradually adjusted to the dark. The first thing I did was look at my Daughter.
Her eyes were still closed, and her breathing was still steady.
Thank goodness…
Careful not to leave a single rustle behind, I got up from my makeshift bed and set Mei's phone back on her desk. It wasn't even a millimetre off from where it had been before I picked it up to answer.
I could have gone back to bed—except I wasn't that tired. The call seemed to spur my mind awake.
Thinking about it, I couldn't help but let out a self-deprecating chuckle.
I'm sorry… Hoshino.
I tilted my head up and stared at the ceiling. There wasn't much to look at—just an all-enveloping black. And yet, I found myself getting lost in it.
Over the course of the call, I realized that Hoshino was… a good kid. And not in the traditional sense of "he's smart and kind." Not to say that he wasn't, though.
He was funny. That much I learned firsthand. He was capable, considering how he thanked me.
And most of all—he was just like my Daughter.
I lowered my gaze back to her.
Just from seeing her, my lips curled up into a smile. And yet, my chest squeezed in a way that almost made me collapse from the sheer pain of it.
With hollow steps, I crossed the room until I was standing right over her, then crouched down.
From this close—even past the curtain of darkness—I could clearly make out every individual eyelash. The magenta in her hair. The perfection of her skin. And… the deep sense of calm on her sleeping face.
Suddenly, the corners of my eyes grew moist, and a sniffle slipped out before I could stop it.
You really are beautiful… my Lovely Daughter.
My hand rose slowly, inching toward her. But just before it reached her, it twitched, freezing in place.
Yeah… Hoshino really is—
Just like you.
As much as it pained me to admit it—I didn't know much about my Daughter. What she liked, what she didn't like, what she wanted to do, what she wanted to become when she was older… I didn't know any of it.
But if there was one thing I did know—it was the way she talked. It was always cheery. Always energetic. Not a single flaw in it. But for some reason, I always felt there was more underneath. It never seemed off—just more. I always figured it was all in my head.
That is—until I talked to Hoshino. He was polite. He was funny. But I got the same feeling from him.
And because they were so alike, of course, they wouldn't realize…
That I was nothing more than a dirty liar.
A single tear slid down and stained my cheek. But instead of wiping it off, my hand was finally freed of its paralysis.
And I used it—to gently stroke my Daughter's head.
I bit down hard on my lip, suppressing the sobs that threatened to break loose. The sobs I'd been swallowing since the beginning of last week.
Except this time—I couldn't hide in the bathroom any longer. I couldn't hide under the sound of running water. And I couldn't hide from this family.
I'm sorry, Mei…
I was still a bad Mother. I was still selfish. Still weak. Still helpless.
Mei deserved so much better than me. If I could, I would give her away in a heartbeat if it meant a better life for her.
Except…
...I don't want that.
By now, tears were flooding my vision, blurring the darkness and my Daughter together.
I want… to stay with you.
I want to see you grow up.
I want to see you happy.
Ah—maybe seeing you get married would be nice.
Getting to do your makeup.
Hearing you tell stories about your Husband.
Getting to see the faces of my grandchildren sounds like a dream.
Getting to talk with your mother-in-law sounds lovely, too.
But I knew…
...That I don't deserve any of this.
I was crying. My shoulders trembled. My hands shook. My chest convulsed with every sob.
Except… the sobs never came out. And they never would. They would remain forever buried inside me, just like my dreams.
Fighting every urge in my body, I drew my hand back and placed both hands firmly in my lap.
But I never pulled my gaze away.
I promise you…
And then, suddenly, the tears stopped. I felt them dry on my cheeks, like they'd left a permanent stain behind.
And with it, I felt something cold close its grip around my whole body.
That you will at least have a normal life.
This much…
Even so, I gave her a smile.
Is the least I can do.