Chapter 395: Caitlyn's Ordeal and a Queen's Ransom for Cheesy Lines
Enforcer Vi felt she could live a thousand lifetimes and never imagine a scene like this. She had honestly believed Caitlyn was cracking up, spinning some elaborate joke. But this… this was real. An absurd, impossible reality bathed her in a light so gentle and warm it seeped right through her armor and into her bones.
Caitlyn's heart hammered against her ribs, her knuckles white where she gripped her sniper rifle. She didn't know why her pulse was racing. To this day, the memory was seared into her mind: the moment Ren had disarmed her, leaving her defenseless before two intimidatingly beautiful women who had scared her to the point of tears. And then, without her having to say a word, Ren had been there, comforting her with a quiet gentleness that had completely undone her.
In a state of shock, she had ingloriously ordered several dishes, sobbing quietly into her food even as she had to admit, with complete honesty, that it was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted.
Of course, the peak of her mortification came when it was time to pay. She had no money. After fumbling through her pockets for what felt like an eternity, the only thing she managed to produce was a pair of standard-issue handcuffs. The looks she received from Lucifer and Yumiko were withering, their expressions screaming 'what an idiot'. In the end, it was Jinx, of all people, who saved her.
"Hurry up, hurry up! I got your tab," the blue-haired menace had chirped. "Just don't try to snipe me next time you see me, 'kay?"
Caitlyn had never known such shame. She snatched her hat and rifle and fled, not even bothering to file a report when she got back. She ran straight home, slammed her door, threw herself onto her bed, and spent the next hour rolling around and screaming into her pillow.
Just thinking about that day at the restaurant made her want to dig a hole and never come out. But the most crucial, most infuriating part was that she… she actually liked it there. She hated to admit it, but she was drawn to it all—the food, the impossible restaurant, even the chaotic lifestyle of Jinx and the others.
And then there was that man. That infuriatingly bad man. She had no idea what had gotten into her. The next day, she was completely distracted at work. Everything she ate tasted like cardboard. Her thoughts were consumed by the memory of his cooking and of Ren himself—a man who, she was forced to concede, possessed a handsome grace that made even Piltover's golden boy, Jayce, seem unrefined.
also, it was painfully obvious how considerate and gentle Ren was with Yumiko, Lucifer, Kasugano Sora, and even Jinx. He had been kind to her, too, but his tenderness toward the others held a certain warmth, a level of pampering that was entirely different. It left a deep impression on Caitlyn, this man who so completely surpassed Jayce in every conceivable way.
What about technology? A bitter laugh escaped her. Seeing the sleek mobile phones in Lucifer's hands and the restaurant's ambient lighting, which was far more elegant than anything in Piltover, she knew this place was just as advanced, if not more so. Their technology was developed with a more human touch. And money? She highly doubted a powerful witch and the literal Queen of Hell were ever short on funds.
Back then, Vi had watched her, concerned, as she listlessly poked at her lunch with a fork. "Cupcake, you gonna eat that? You're about to stab a hole through the bowl."
"I'm thinking about a restaurant…" Caitlyn had mumbled.
"Oh? Sounds like you found a good spot. Take me sometime."
"Okay…"
Vi took a sip of water, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "If a place is that good, maybe you and Jayce could…"
The name was like a lit match to a fuse. Caitlyn shot up, her expression thunderous. "Don't you dare mention Jayce's name to me! If he can go a single year without setting foot in his laboratory and learn how to cook a decent meal, then we can talk."
Vi recoiled, startled. "Caitlyn, what's wrong?"
A hot blush crept up Caitlyn's neck. "Nothing! I just… thought of a bad man!"
"I get it," Vi said, her expression softening with what Caitlyn knew was complete misunderstanding. "You and Jay…"
"Vi!" Caitlyn practically shrieked, slamming her fork down. "I said it's not Jayce! Not Jayce! I am not thinking about Jayce! The man I'm talking about is a restaurant owner! And he's handsome, but he's also a bad man! Got it?!"
Vi swallowed hard. "Uh… so Jayce is… out of the picture?"
"That's not the point! The point is bringing him to justice! But he's not from this world!"
"He's dead?!"
"He's alive! He's in another world! His restaurant is in another world! Jinx is there, too! And she actually listens to him. You won't believe it, Vi, but Jinx… she can almost be described as well-behaved there!"
"What else?" Vi asked, her voice cautious.
"The Queen of Hell is there! Do you hear me, Vi? I met the Queen of Hell! She's gorgeous and elegant, with these little horns, and she wears this incredible formal suit. She and that man are lovers! And besides her, there's this beautiful older sister who's like some kind of resurrected extraordinary being! Though I have no idea what 'extraordinary' even means."
Vi was now holding her communicator. "Hmm. Anything else?"
"And there's this girl, she's so cute and sensible, a proper young lady just like me, and so beautiful. If she were a doll, I swear that style would sell out instantly! Wait… Vi, what are you doing?"
"Are you finished?" Vi asked, her face grim. She sighed heavily into the communicator. "Yeah, that's the situation. I think she needs treatment. Jinx must have hit her with some kind of nerve toxin."
"Get her to rest immediately! The doctor will be here soon!" a voice crackled back.
And so began Caitlyn's nightmare. She was subjected to a battery of complete examinations before being dragged off for five months of mandatory psychological treatment. She felt like she was the one going insane; not a single person believed her. While undergoing endless toxin screenings, she managed to apply for two months of supervised evening outings.
She dragged Vi to the old spectacle shop where Jinx had vanished. The place was a chaotic mess. Refusing to accept reality, Caitlyn frantically opened and closed the door, over and over, nearly driving the poor owner to tears as his potential customers fled. At one point, in a fit of desperation, Caitlyn even tried chanting some folk "spells" she'd learned from the undercity kids in Zaun. That was the last straw. Vi couldn't take it anymore and hauled her away.
It wasn't until she forced herself to calm down and feign normalcy that she was finally released. Even now, the memory made her gnash her teeth. Those damned guys, she fumed. I dare you to try locking Vi up and see how she likes it!
(Vi's inner voice: Caitlyn! This was all your fault!)
But now, stepping back into the restaurant, all that anger melted away. She saw that it was even more beautiful than she remembered—more spacious, more exquisitely detailed. A sigh of pure relief escaped her lips. This wasn't Piltover. This wasn't the style of Runeterra. This was its own unique aesthetic, one that settled deep in her soul, a style she had remembered with perfect clarity.
Vi followed her out of the shimmering doorway, her own eyes wide as she took in Ren's restaurant. The tangerine she'd been holding was crushed to a pulp in her fist, unnoticed. "Caitlyn…" she said, her voice a hollow whisper. "I believe you… You were right… Jinx was right… This place… this restaurant really exists… And this… is this really a restaurant? It's too beautiful!"
Caitlyn scanned the room and nodded. Just as she was about to speak, her gaze landed on Lucifer, who was clinging to Ren's arm while nibbling on a piece of fruit. Ren, in turn, was occasionally being fed a slice by the Queen of Hell herself. Most bizarrely, the table in front of them was piled high with glittering gold coins, brilliant diamonds, and other precious gems.
Lucifer's smile was a little stiff. Just moments before, she had theatrically produced the pile of jewels and demanded Ren recite cheesy pick-up lines to her. Ren, finding himself bored, decided to indulge his little queen's whims. It was all their own money anyway, just being moved from one place to another. Lucifer knew perfectly well that Ren was just playing along, but she adored these silly little games, these private moments that belonged only to the two of them.
Still chewing on a piece of pineapple, Lucifer caught sight of the newcomers. She smiled and gave a lazy wave to Caitlyn, whose expression flickered between complex resentment for Ren and curious awe for her.
"Yo~ Little Cops is back," Lucifer purred. "And you brought a friend this time? How lovely. Ren, darling, we'll continue this later."
"Later," Ren agreed with a soft smile.
"Just two more!" Lucifer pouted.
"Later."
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