Chapter 536: Yukari Yakumo Plays Herself, Reimu: You Are a Good Person
Yukari's mood was a tangled mess. She had struggled with the situation for what felt like an eternity before settling on the most pragmatic solution: just obediently go on the damn date. She knew Ren was playing her, cornering her with her own words, so she planned to stall by claiming she would only go when her schedule cleared up.
Beside her, Yuuka sat utterly expressionless.
Yukari let out a long, dramatic sigh. "Mister Restaurant Owner is truly a terrifying man... Yuuka, you really should have warned me."
Yuuka's voice was soft, carrying a chilling indifference. "Why should I? You were the one actively seeking out trouble."
Yukari chuckled, leaning in slightly. "My, my, Yuuka. You actually care quite a bit about his answer from earlier, don't you?"
Yuuka paused, her emerald eyes shifting slightly before she murmured, "You talk too much."
Yukari's smile widened, her tone dripping with playful teasing. "Oh, but I'm genuinely interested in our dear shop owner now. If I ever need to settle down with a man in the future, he would absolutely top my list. I'm actually quite easy to win over, you know."
She cast a subtle, sidelong glance at the Flower Master, waiting for a reaction.
A long beat of silence passed before Yuuka finally spoke, her voice light but piercing. "No one knows if you are easy to win over. But from what I have seen, Ren is incredibly easy to win over. If you need to confess to him, a single sentence might do the trick. After all... you still owe him a date."
Yukari's eye twitched. Good heavens. She was beginning to suspect that Yuuka and Ren were already secretly a couple. The sheer critical damage of that deadpan comeback was outrageous.
Reimu sighed, resting her chin on her hand. "She makes a fair point. But honestly, Yukari, isn't this a bit like an old cow grazing on young grass?"
Yukari felt like an absolute idiot. She had only wanted to play matchmaker, to stir the pot and watch the chaos unfold. Instead, she had somehow dragged herself into the fire, and she was burning alone.
Beside them, Ran remained perfectly silent. But the moment the sharp, sizzling sound of something dropping into a hot pan echoed from the kitchen, the fox youkai's ears perked up. Her honed sixth sense screamed the truth: her fried tofu was ready!
Yukari forced a smile, trying to deflect the mounting embarrassment. "Ah, just hearing that sizzle makes me hungry. Doesn't it, Reimu?"
The shrine maiden grumbled, her stomach practically rumbling. "If you had just woken up earlier, I wouldn't be starving right now."
Yukari's lips twitched again. "You know, I still need my sleep to grow. After all, I'm only seventeen."
A heavy, stunned silence fell over the table. Ignoring the fact that if her voluptuous figure grew any more it would defy the laws of physics—was she seriously trying to pass off that age?
They killed time with idle chatter, tossing lazy remarks back and forth. Finally, the kitchen doors swung open. Ren emerged pushing a sleek dining cart, instantly igniting the eyes of both Ran and Reimu.
Yukari was also looking forward to the meal, but right now, looking at Ren filled her with a lingering sense of dread. The man was simply too dangerous. In a normal battle of wits, you threw a punch, and the opponent threw one back. With Ren, you threw a punch, and he casually detonated a nuclear warhead in your face.
Ren approached the table, smoothly transferring the plates. "First, for Yukari and Reimu, the steamed pork with rice flour. For Ran, the spicy chicken with peppercorns and fried tofu. I've also brought peach blossom wine for the three of you. As for Yuuka, your usual needs no introduction."
Reimu's eyes practically bulged out of her skull as she stared at the steamed pork. It looked absurdly luxurious. Delicate, pancake-like wraps lined the edge of the bamboo steamer, while the center featured a beautiful, glistening mountain of perfectly sliced meat.
Ran swallowed hard, her gaze locked onto the spicy chicken. Poultry again! Excellent! The dish radiated a rich, numbing aroma that immediately had the fox drooling.
Reimu blinked, noticing an extra dish. "Hey, shop owner! What's on that plate?"
"Consider it a complimentary appetizer," Ren replied smoothly. "I figured if you three were going to drink, you'd need something to snack on. It's just a simple meat platter."
Reimu's eyes sparkled like polished coins. "What are those square pieces?"
"Pork jerky."
"And... those dark slices?"
"Air-dried sausage. The dipping sauce is in the middle. Please, enjoy."
Reimu clasped her hands together, looking up at him as if he were a descending god. "Shop owner! You are such a good person!"
Ren chuckled, shaking his head. "It seems earning the title of a 'good person' is quite easy around here. I actually needed some snacks for a movie later, and a full portion was too much, so I just split it with you."
Ran was practically vibrating with excitement. This meal was far too extravagant! She didn't even know where to begin, though deep down, her loyalties remained absolute: fried tofu would always reign supreme. She was a very devoted fox.
Reimu grinned around a mouthful of food. "I thought you gave us extra because of Yukari's upcoming date!"
Ren tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose it's somewhat related. Though apparently, I was too naive and ended up getting tricked."
A sudden burst of laughter echoed from the kitchen—Lucifer couldn't hold it in. At the table, the corners of Yuuka's lips curled upward. Ren being naive? Even Cerberus wouldn't buy that nonsense. Anyone with half a brain could see exactly who was tricking whom.
Reimu sighed sympathetically. "Don't worry about it, shop owner! Yukari is just like that. I know you're a good person!"
Hearing this, Yukari gritted her teeth. Her face flushed a deep, embarrassed crimson before she finally snapped. "It's just a date, isn't it?! Fine, I'll go! But I get to decide the time!"
Ren blinked, feigning a moment of surprise before smiling. "That works too."
Yukari glared daggers at him. No matter how this played out, Ren always seemed to profit. She made a silent, ironclad vow: she would never, ever try to outsmart this man again. The humiliation was simply too much.
When Ren returned to the kitchen carrying his half of the platter, Lucifer immediately leaned into his space, her voice dropping to a sultry whisper. "So... which of the three out there would you choose?"
"I choose to watch my movie."
"Hmph! Then who's the prettiest?"
"Hmm... I think it's..."
Lucifer's eyes narrowed. She lightly slapped his arm, her whisper turning sharp. "You actually have to think about it?! You really are a big pig's trotter! And quite wicked, too, playing with that youkai's head like that."
Ren smiled, his gaze drifting over the Queen of Hell. "Perhaps it's because my woman is a demon. I feel like her wicked influence is rubbing off on me."
Lucifer blinked, caught off guard, before a bright laugh escaped her lips. "Oh, please! I have always maintained the image of a perfectly good, upstanding woman! Your demonic side is entirely innate!"
"Hmm? Is that so?"
"Of course it is!"
[Akarin's Note: "An old cow eating young grass" (老牛吃嫩草) is a common Chinese idiom used to describe an older person romantically pursuing or dating someone significantly younger than them. Reimu is teasing Yukari about her vast age gap with Ren.]
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