"Ughh..."
The morning sunlight made me squint. I was sure I'd closed the curtains, but someone had opened them again—so annoyingly considerate.
Waking up early still felt unfamiliar. Ever since I began living near the church, in the Order's grounds, my daily life had changed drastically. For the better, I'd say.
The room was unnecessarily big, as were the windows. I was literally bathing in sunlight. Gosh.
I stepped into the long hallway, stopped by the men's washroom, then made my way to the refectory.
Though it was still early, the vast refectory was already crowded. It seemed everyone here woke before the sun. So diligent.
As I sat down with my breakfast, a familiar voice rang out.
"Good morning, Cain."
Angela casually took the seat across from me.
"Good morning, too, Angela. You haven't eaten breakfast?"
"I did."
"..?"
I froze mid-bite and looked back at her.
"...Then why are you here?"
"..."
Angela lost in thought, as if she wasn't sure of it herself.
"...I'm looking after you."
"...I see."
So it was not my imagination. Angela really had been paying a lot of attention to me lately.
...How should I respond to this? Is she interested in me? No, it would be foolish of me to assume anything.
That was the end of our exchange. I resumed eating in silence, unsure what to say, aware of Angela's gaze resting on me. The refectory was crowded, yet the small space between us felt strangely cut off from the surrounding clatter.
After finishing my breakfast, I returned my plates and stepped out. Unable to bear the awkward silence, I spoke up.
"So… how have things been for you lately?"
"Everything has been going well."
"Thinking about it, what do you usually do? Is training to be a saintess hard?"
"It is not hard at all. I do public services twice a week, study for three days, and assist with church duties the rest of the week."
Compared to me, practically idling away my days, she was the embodiment of diligence.
But what could I really do? I wanted to train, to grow stronger, but I couldn't find anyone willing to teach me. The books were useless, so I started asking around. The Order's knights were said to be experts in Aura, but there weren't any stationed here. I even asked Theron — that was how desperate I was — but he refused, saying something about Aura's eventual germination. Whatever that meant.
Oh well, whatever, guess I'll go to the library for the time being. I just need to find a way somehow.
Angela and I talked on the way there. To be honest, it was barely a conversation. I did all the talking, while Angela simply listened. Attentively. Silently.
"...So that's what I want to do for the time being. What about you, Angela? What do you want to do?"
Angela abruptly stopped. I stopped too, a few steps late.
"..."
"Uhh..."
Angela lowered her head, deep in thought.
Sunlight dimly shone through the quiet hallway.
"..."
"Um..."
Right, it was about time for winter. I never really noticed this before.
"..."
"..."
But Angela couldn't come up with an answer, even after a long while.
"W-Well, I'm going to the library now. I'll be there the rest of the day, so… if you need anything, you can come by."
"...Yes, I'll keep that in mind."
Saying goodbye, we parted ways. Still, I wondered what Angela thinks. She seemed deeply troubled by that question. Is there any way to help her?
...I couldn't come up with an answer, either.
***
There were a crazy number of books here. No, seriously, I genuinely thought this single library had all the books in this city.
Five floors of shelves stretched through the library. Long aisles and sections holding dozens upon dozens of books. Yet everything was neatly organized and maintained—not a single spot of dust or imperfection to be found.
I was looking for beginner books on Aura, but it proved harder than I thought. I skimmed through a few, though most were beyond me. The librarian couldn't help much, either.
As I continued searching, I stumbled upon some interesting books, like "A Brief History of the Agathon Empire" and "The Teachings of the Lord". Well, I suppose reading them for the time being could do. They are common knowledge after all.
Sitting down, I read the books one by one. I wasn't really a book person to begin with, I think. But there was no helping it, nothing else to do.
The rustling of pages drew me in, like a quiet rhythm. Before long, the late morning sun filled the reading space with warm light.
'It has been quite a while since I came to this world.'
It really was. For me, it had been almost two months since I arrived in this world, counting all the regressions. And frankly, this was the most I'd enjoyed my time here.
Looking back, I had been quite lost. Overwhelmed by everything, I struggled just to live. I moved aimlessly, barely interacting with the people around me, passive in everything I did.
And the meaning of "live," too. Angela told me to, and Eirlys asked if I wanted to. In the end, am I living up to their expectations? Even if I asked now, I couldn't get an answer anymore.
How long am I planning to stay here? Am I doing the right thing? As a Chosen One, shouldn't I try harder? Well, even then.
I think I'm content with things being like this.
"Brother, what are you thinking about?"
"!!"
I jolted upright and turned to the side. It was Mara.
"Mara? Why are you here—actually, how have you been?"
"...It's nice."
Mara showed an awkward smile. She seemed to enjoy it here, which was nice to see.
"So, what are you doing here?"
"...The books here are fun to read."
"You come here often?"
"Yes."
Oh, how unexpected. Looks like I have found myself a little reading buddy.
"What books do you like? Something like a fairy tale—"
"...The Theory of Moral Sentiments by Adam Smith."
"..."
"..."
Wow.
"Wait, since when could you read books like that?"
"I-I taught myself... There was a bookstore near my house, and the owner..."
"..?"
"...let me read them..."
"I see. Didn't expect this at all."
This might be better this way. I don't know much about children, so maybe we can talk more easily like this.
"Right, by any chance, do you know where the books teaching Aura are?"
"W-What is Aura?"
"Nevermind about that, then. Do you read history books, Mara?"
"I do, though I don't think I know much about it..."
"That's alright."
Time passed by. Mara taught me a lot about the basics of the Empire's history, and for someone her age, she was remarkably knowledgeable.
Before I knew it, it was already late noon. We were so absorbed in reading that we forgot lunch. Time really did fly with company like this.
Fortunately, Mara seemed to enjoy our time together. Her enthusiasm and love for books were unexpected.
Suddenly, a voice echoed throughout the quiet library.
"Mara! Are you here?"
Mara seemed surprised by the call.
"Is that... Eliana?"
"...Yes."
But Mara kept fidgeting with her fingers, looking nervous.
"Should I call her for you?"
"...Please."
I called out for Eilana, and she arrived in no time, slightly out of breath.
"Hah... hah... There you are, Mara! I've been looking for you all day! Why did you skip class? Don't you know how worried I was?"
"..."
Mara was reprimanded for a long time. If she came here often, I guess this wasn't her first time. I didn't expect someone so smart to be such a misfit.
Seemingly finished scolding her, Eliana walked up to me. Wait, was I also at fault here?
Eliana unexpectedly bowed.
"Brother Cain, I'm sorry to interrupt your reading like this."
"Uh... It's fine? Actually, I should be the one apologizing. I may have kept Mara here for too long."
"But even so, I should have taken better care of her. It's my fault, Brother Cain."
"...If you say so."
It was no use trying to take the blame. People in the Order really have a way with words.
"...Does Mara not get along with her classmates?"
"Not at all! Mara is very nice to everyone and well-behaved. No one would ever believe she hadn't received a proper education. It's just that..."
Eliana averted her gaze, hesitating.
"...She doesn't like some of our doctrines, and always skips classes related to them."
I glanced at Mara. She was still engrossed in the books, seemingly reviewing the topics we had discussed earlier. Though from her expression, she didn't seem to want to go back.
I chose my words carefully.
"I see. May I ask why?"
"Yes, brother Cain. You are her guardian, right? It would be best if you could help us with this."
Right. I did promise to take responsibility for her, so hopefully I could be of some help.
"It seems to have something to do with her parents. During scripture study, she would refuse certain passages, and eventually, even after repeated discipline, she stopped attending the class entirely. We don't really know how to handle it, especially with someone like her."
"...Ah, I understand."
Now this is complicated.
"I will try to think of a way sometime soon."
"Thank you very much, brother Cain. Sister Angela also helped a lot, but sadly Mara didn't seem to get along well with her..."
"Angela tried too?"
"Ah, yes! Sister Angela always lends us a hand whenever we need it. Honestly, she works so hard for everyone. I really hope she becomes a true saintess someday, just like she has always wanted."
"Oh..."
***
"I can't believe they prepared extra food for my supper just because I skipped lunch..."
Because of that, I finished supper last, as I hadn't arrived early to begin with.
The sun had long since set, giving way to the moon.
Moonlight dimly shone through the quiet hallway. A familiar figure stood ahead.
It was Angela.
"Oh, what a coincidence. How has your day been, Angela?"
"It was fine. What about you, Cain?"
"Ah, Mara visited me in the library. She is really smart, and we had a fun talk about history and stuff. After a bit more reading, I learnt that—wait, I'm not blocking your way, right?"
"Of course not. I always enjoy listening to you, Cain. Please, go on."
...Thinking about it, this is the way to the refectory. Don't tell me…
"Angela, have you had your supper yet?"
"..."
Speechless, huh?
"This won't do. Let's go get your supper now. We clearly have no time for small talk."
I boldly took her hand and hurried her to the refectory. Angela must be very hungry by now.
Angela froze, looking perplexed.
"...Why are you going with me?"
I turned back at her. Ah, right, what was it that she said?
"Because I'm looking after you, Angela."
"...!!"
How about that, huh?
Afterward, I got the silent treatment, but it was worth it. I think.